Kindness And Recovery

A sober living home can be more than a roof. It can be a turning point. We sit down with Amber Miller, the founder of Angels House of Healing, to hear how she turned grief, addiction recovery, and a promise to break a generational cycle into a real transitional living community for women. Her story starts with losing her mother to alcoholism at 44, and the clarity that the deeper wound was unhealed trauma. From there, Amber shares what it took to get sober, face shame, and rebuild an identity rooted in values and integrity.

We also get practical about what makes women’s sober living work day to day: creating safety and trust for residents arriving from treatment, incarceration, or unsafe housing, setting clear standards, and building a culture where kindness includes boundaries and accountability. Amber explains who Angels House of Healing is for, why the program expects readiness and inner work, and how community can help someone stop living in survival mode.

A standout takeaway is the focus on independence. Amber wants women leaving with two essentials: knowing their worth and gaining financial education. We talk about financial literacy, budgeting, and even using AI tools to help residents learn money skills that many of us were never taught. We also touch on the ripple effect of healing through kids, families, friendships, and the broader community, plus Amber’s upcoming non-alcoholic one-year celebration and fundraiser, Raising Spirits, in La Crosse, Wisconsin.

If this conversation hits home, subscribe to Kindness Matters, share the episode with someone in recovery, and leave a quick review so more people can find these stories. What part of Amber’s approach to healing do you want to try first?

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Intro music: ‘Human First’ by Mike Baker – YouTube Music: https://youtu.be/wRXqkYVarGA | Podcast: Still Here, Still Trying | Website: www.mikebakerhq.com”

Transcript

Welcome To Kindness Matters

SPEAKER_02 0:00

This is the Kindness Matters podcast. A space for stories that inspire, challenge, and bring us a little closer together. If you've been looking for a reminder of the Gooden people, you're in the right place. Because kindness matters. And so do you. It's kindness. We are Hey, hello, and welcome everybody. And uh you are listening to the Kindness Matters podcast. And I am your host, Mike Rathbun. Um thank you. I know we all have only a certain number of hours every day, and the fact that you took a portion of one of those hours out of your day to listen to this episode um really hits me in the field. And I appreciate it, and I thank you, and I'm grateful for it. Um we've got an amazing show for you today. Um today on the Kindness Matters podcast, I'm joined by Amber Miller, the founder of Angels House of Healing. It's a transformative, sober living community helping women rebuild their lives with compassion, accountability, and purpose. After overcoming her own struggles with addiction, Amber turned her pain into a mission, creating a safe, empowering space where women can heal, grow, and rediscover their strength. Her story is one of resilience, redemption, and the life-changing power of community. Welcome to the show, Amber.

SPEAKER_00 1:38

Thank you for that introduction, Mike. I'm gonna listen to that every morning when I wake up just to hype myself.

SPEAKER_02 1:47

Yeah, like uh what do they call that? I don't remember what they call it. Um, yeah, like your motivational speech before the day.

SPEAKER_00 1:54

Yeah, my affirmations, my my things you give me.

SPEAKER_02 2:01

I'll just send you that part. And then you can just listen to put that on repeat. Uh, on on

Amber’s Why And Her Mother’s Story

SPEAKER_02 2:08

your iPod. Oh, do we still do iPods? No, we don't. Okay. Oh my gosh. Um, this is talk to me, because this is such an amazing thing you built here, and and it's so incredible. Tell me about your why. Everybody has a why, right? What is what is your why behind what is the heart behind Angel's House of Healing?

SPEAKER_00 2:36

Yeah, absolutely. Um growing up, my mother was the epitome of showing me unconditional love. And as we got older, the traumas that she was never able to heal from started surfacing. And she dealt with her traumas in the only way that she knew how, which was through alcohol. And when I was 22 years old and she was 44 years old, she passed away from alcoholism. But it really wasn't the alcohol, it was the unhealed trauma. And I remember walking away from the coroner's office thinking somebody needs to change the laws, somebody needs to provide more resources, but not knowing at 22 that that person was me. And so I dealt with my grief in the only way that I knew how, which was through alcohol. And so for 11 years, I got my life education on my own addiction. And it was about six years ago that I came to a Y in the road, and I could either give my kids the same life that I had growing up, and I knew exactly what that looked like, or I could choose to face myself, face my fears, and step into the unknown. And so I obviously stepped into the unknown, and my life has been a domino effect of positive good things. And I realized that I, if I can do this, other people can do this. And I I didn't want people's stories to just be stuck in in what they thought their lives were, that identity, that permanent thing. And so um I've decided to start sharing that with people.

SPEAKER_02 4:32

Is it common, do you think? Um because I I don't think your your story, your personal story, is unique, unfortunately, right? Is that is that true? Yeah, and do we do we carry those traumas and just relive?

SPEAKER_00 4:54

Yeah, absolutely. Um, I mean, first off, that's that's the whole generational cycle, right? Is my grandma was an alcoholic, my mom was an alcoholic, I was an alcoholic. And I wanted the buck to stop with me. I didn't want my children to have to experience that. And so I knew I needed to take ownership for my own life. And in creating Angel's House of Healing, I have these women all come in with these stories that are the exact same of my mom's. When these women walk in, I see my mother. And so that pain, that's how we're all connected. I don't believe that anybody is walking this earth without a story. And so if we're able to have a little bit more compassion and empathy, that we've all got these layers to us that don't actually belong to us, that that's where we can connect.

SPEAKER_02 5:52

Yeah, yeah. Um so when you when did what did your healing look like for you?

Getting Sober And Meeting Shame

SPEAKER_00 6:03

Yeah, absolutely. So that healing, I remember I got sober and I didn't I realized that I didn't know who I was as a person. I didn't know who I would be without alcohol. And so for the first time in my life, I had to start facing all of the things, all of the reasons why I drank in the first place. And so I had waves of shame and guilt come over me for how I had been living my life and what I'd been doing to the people around me. And so I had to meet all of that in the self-hate with love. And I had to figure out what were my values as a person, what were the things that lit me up? And then I had to start living my life in integrity with those things, with being honest with other people and myself. And so it was in doing that work that I started filling those holes inside of me, and I started experiencing peace and love and a connection with myself for the first time and creating a life that actually feels whole.

SPEAKER_02 7:20

Yeah. Now, does that does that model of healing that you use, does that is that a universal thing? Can you use that on everyone, or does it not work that way?

SPEAKER_00 7:34

Yeah, I think that everybody's life and their recovery has to be unique and authentic to them. So that starts with each person facing their own thoughts, their own beliefs, and unlearning some of those things and then relearning things. And so it's figuring out for each person what lights them up, you know, um, and in doing those things, and we have to try lots of different things in order to figure out what those things are. Um, and and that's how, again, like we're different, but we're all the same.

SPEAKER_02 8:16

Yeah, yeah. I really like that. What lights them up? I love that. Um, so how how do you go about okay? Well, let's talk about the the women who who come to Angel's house. Um broad spectrum of of individuals, old, young, somewhere in between. What what what is the what is what are the what do they look like? What what's what's our demographic look like?

SPEAKER_00 8:52

Yeah, absolutely.

Recovery Is Personal And Authentic

SPEAKER_00 8:53

So I am looking for a particular kind of woman that is being called into Angel's House of Healing. Typically, she's gonna be between the ages of 18 and 55, and she's going to be ready to do the hard inner work and actually face herself. I tell the women, you know, that I talk to before coming in that this is not just a shelter, that this is a place to actually face themselves, do the work and transform their lives so that way they can actually become the woman that they see in their vision, that they know who they are in their heart. And, you know, a lot of times these women are coming in from incarceration or treatment or unsafe living places. And so a lot of the stories look familiar. Um, but again, it's I see through all of those layers and I see a woman's value and her worth. And my job is to empower her for her to find that so she can become who she's supposed to be.

SPEAKER_02 10:04

Yeah. I can imagine, and you you kind of touched on it right there for a second, about all the different places that that the women that come to angels um come from, whether it's incarceration or unsafe living. How do you go about creating safety and trust for women who arrive guarded or exhausted? Um what kind of do you do practices or rituals that that help build that?

SPEAKER_00 10:38

So, first off, most of the women coming into the house are going to be nervous and they're going to be scared because change is hard. They are now choosing to face themselves, and the majority of people, they we don't like change, right? Our ego wants us to stay the same.

SPEAKER_01 10:58

It's hard, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:00

And so it kind of for me, it goes back to the the saying of when you're on an airplane, you put on your oxygen mask first before you help somebody else. And so how I create an environment of safety and trust is I have to make myself a priority first. I have to walk the walk and live in integrity with what I preach. And so I do that with my own rituals that I know help me keep stay grounded. And so when I regulate myself first and

Who Angels House Is For

SPEAKER_00 11:35

I show up in a good energy versus being um overwhelmed and stressed and deregulated, the women can feel that. And so that that kind of sets, you know, the culture of the house, the tone of the house. And there are clear standards in the house, and there's this idea of shared growth that the women that come to Angel's House of Healing are all there to make their lives better. And so it's that community who you surround yourself with, you become, right? Um, and that's that's the whole premise of Angel's House is to give them a safe and supportive place where they can start doing this work.

SPEAKER_02 12:20

That's awesome. And we should probably I I think I may have gotten ahead of myself here. Talk to me about Angel's House because it is an actual house, and you really kind of you didn't build the house, but you got it to where you needed it to be, right? Talk to me about that process, because that's a great story in and of itself.

SPEAKER_00 12:44

Yeah, absolutely. So um, you know, I had stuck in a couple of offers on some houses. Um, they fell through, but I kept kept trusting the process. And then it was uh the end of March last year, I told my realtor that I was putting an offer in on something by the end of the month. And an email came in, and this house was off market. I don't even think the guy that sent it to me knew my name or what I was really up to. Um, but I was like, okay, I was like, here's the perfect house. All right, God, if you want me to have this house, now show me the money. Um, God did his thing and the money showed up. And in five weeks, we flipped this house, and Angel's House of Healing opened up. And, you know, it's I'm building this plane as I go, and it's it's been a lot of learning. Um, this is not something that you just read in a textbook, you know, and you go to college.

SPEAKER_02 13:44

There's no there's no blueprint for that.

SPEAKER_00 13:47

Yeah, which is which is why I love um addicts, and I use this term loosely because I think it's a label. I love them being entrepreneurs because we're creative and we're resourceful and we know how to hustle. And so, you know, that's that's what we're

Building Safety Trust And Standards

SPEAKER_00 14:06

gonna do. And so there is no playbook for this type of thing. Um, but I can meet these women where they're at, and um, we're all growing and learning together.

SPEAKER_02 14:18

Yeah. Yeah. So does does kindness play any type of role in your your day-to-day work there when you're working with the women?

SPEAKER_00 14:30

Yeah, absolutely. I think that that's where it's all starts. Um because I remember that when I got sober and I found a new community that for the first time in my life didn't judge me for who I was and showed me kindness, and they were people with goals. I was just absolutely blown away that there were people like this in the world. And so I knew that that's the environment that I wanted to create. And so it's seeing somebody else's potential before they can see it. Um, and and it also means things like being able to have hard conversations, right? And being not enabling and holding people accountable and having boundaries. And so it's it's holding somebody's hand through, you know, saying, I care too much about you to let you stay stuck.

SPEAKER_02 15:28

Right, right. So the the women that come to you, are they have do they come from other treatment programs? I'm guessing that you would require them to be at a bare minimum detoxed.

SPEAKER_00 15:46

Yeah, yeah. So um the standard for coming to Angel's house is typically it's women coming out of incarceration or treatment um or unstable living. Um, but I like them to be at least 30 days sober. Um, and and they've then kind of started on some of that inner work, you know, getting some of that toxins out of their system. Um, and angels house of healing then becomes that transitional living space because it's hard for women or anybody to go back into the same environment that triggered everything beforehand and be able to heal. And so

Finding The House And Making It Real

SPEAKER_00 16:26

that's that's what it's about. Um, and so yeah, they've got to be, you know, 30 days sober and ready to start doing that work.

SPEAKER_02 16:35

Yeah, for sure. Um and how long is there a set time for the program, or is it when they are ready to go back out?

SPEAKER_00 16:47

Yeah, again, because everybody is on their own journey. This has to be authentic to them. And so everybody is a case-by-case basis. And my I always tell the ladies, I want them to leave the house with two things knowing their worth, who they are, and having a financial education. Because I think with those two things, a woman can do anything.

SPEAKER_02 17:13

Absolutely. Do you guys do you guys have like a financial literacy course as part of the program?

SPEAKER_00 17:19

Yeah, so um we've got a couple of things going on, but that is the the latest thing that we're implementing. Um, and so we do a lot with community partners, and we're bringing somebody in now to start doing that um in holding the women accountable, but also using AI, you know, help creating a budget. Yeah. And so, how can we use AI to help these women um create budgets and um from where they're at, right? Like most of us have never learned about money. We've learned the things not to do, and so you know, just like trial and error. Yeah, the the drug and the alcohol thing, that's a cycle. Money is also a cycle, and so we can unlearn and relearn anything.

SPEAKER_02 18:12

Yeah, absolutely. And and you're so right. I I don't know why I'm trying to think back to the covered wagon days when I was in school, and I don't think I learned how to use a checkbook. Okay, because back then, yeah, obviously we didn't have cred debit cards or anything like that. We had checkbooks, and and I I remember learning how to you know do a check register and and to balance your account and that kind of stuff. Um but I don't I don't know if it was my parents that taught me that or if I learned that in school. Probably my parents. But yeah, so many of us and and I see, you know, even when when a kid struggle, it's like, well, you mess that up big time, pal. You didn't teach them that. Um so what kind of shifts do you see in the women as they as they come out of the program? Because I know you had a couple of great stories.

SPEAKER_00 19:20

Yeah, so you know, the the transformation is the ultimate reason why I am doing this when a woman can raise her standards and have boundaries and and know that she is worthy and deserving of a life that's bigger than what she's been living, right? And so to see them find jobs and stable housing for the first time and not be dependent on other people and realize that she is so powerful that she can create the life of her dreams. Um, and and you know, the thing about addicts is we we like risk, we like to live on the edge. And so, how do we take that energy that we used to put in and just surviving and use that energy for good? And and and you know, the ultimate thing is like these women become the lighthouse for other people.

SPEAKER_02 20:27

That's the thing, that's the stuff right there. Because uh I mean how do you can uh can you give me some examples of ways that um these women's healing impacts uh their families or friendships or even the broader community? I mean, because I would think uh coming back out into the world basically as a whole different person, right, than they were when they went in to you, that must have some impact far beyond Angel's house.

SPEAKER_00 21:05

Yeah, absolutely. So when a woman heals herself, she's she's cut, she's breaking that cycle right there. Her children then get a more patient and loving, and just a mother who is is present, right? There for their lives. And and those kids then grow up, you know, with

Kindness With Boundaries And Accountability

SPEAKER_00 21:32

more self-esteem, more worth, all of these things that they don't have to repeat. And and relationships, whether it be with friends or partners, anybody in general, become healthier. Um, when you when you do the healing work on yourself and you know your worth, your standards automatically raise. But you can see, you all of a sudden have view life through a different perspective. A different lens. And so you can see other people as a mirror of who you used to be. And you have compassion and empathy for those people because they haven't been able to make it out of that yet. Instead of you judging them. And so, you know, when a woman heals and her children heal and her family heals, it's it's this ripple effect. And it's the community then gets somebody who's giving back. And every woman that comes into Angel's House of Healing, she wants to help somebody else. It's in a woman's nature to nurture. And so we did not walk through all of that pain and fire for nothing. And so I truly believe with all of my heart that these women that are entering the house and doing the work on themselves, they're going to be the ones, the next leaders in this shift in humanity. Um, and and they get to then hold space for other people, showing them that change is possible.

SPEAKER_02 23:06

Absolutely. Um this must be kind of a double-edged sword for yourself because you carry a lot of the emotional weight that comes into that house, don't you?

SPEAKER_00 23:24

I I did in the beginning. This is this has been a um a learning experience. So um it's it's hard to not take some of it on, right? Um, these these women come in with with all of their layers and their stories, but I also knew that coming into this line of work that I can't be attached to the outcomes on what a woman chooses because we all have free will. And so this is what I I make sure again that I'm taking care of me first and being that example to women of what's possible and then letting them make their own choices. Um, and so again, I don't attach myself to their past, I see them at their core for who they are and who they're becoming.

SPEAKER_02 24:20

Yeah, yeah. I just I would imagine though that every person that comes through there, and they all have probably a very traumatic story. And how can that not affect you? Hearing those. I mean, because you're you're an empathetic person.

SPEAKER_00 24:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:41

And and you know, I yeah. So you you you you do a good job of of protecting yourself as well.

SPEAKER_00 24:50

Yeah, I don't I don't try and save anybody because that's

Financial Literacy And Using AI

SPEAKER_00 24:55

outside of my control. I hold space for them. I see them and I listen to them and I give them a space to set down those heavy suitcases that they've been carrying with for so long. And of course, it affects me when I hear them say that they started using at seven years old, that all of these other horrible things that they experienced as children, because they didn't choose that, they didn't start to use start, you know, start using at seven. And so, Mike, it adds a fire to me. This is my fuel to keep doing this work. This is the whole purpose, and so I don't have to be all sunshine and rainbows, I can use that feminine rage to make change.

SPEAKER_02 25:44

Feminine rage. Oh my gosh, that just terrifies me. Just those words.

SPEAKER_00 25:50

You should be excited, Mike. Don't be scared.

SPEAKER_02 25:53

Okay, all right, you say so.

SPEAKER_00 25:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:56

So what what gives you hope right now looking back? Because you're coming up on about a year in the in the in the house. Looking ahead, what gives you hope?

SPEAKER_00 26:11

What gives me hope is seeing the small wins and these big wins that these women have day in and day out. Um, it's choosing peace. It's it's you know, going to job interviews that they're afraid it to do, it's self-respect. Um, it's seeing them say that they can do this, that they have resilience. Um, and so it's those moments of identity shifts. And so, you know, it's taken, I'm we've been open for 10 months now, and the house is is what my vision was. It's a safe and supportive and empowering house filled with women that are actually doing the work and changing their lives. And so the fact that I made this into reality absolutely blows my mind. But, you know, like I I understand what the full mission is, and and I'm just gonna keep going with this.

SPEAKER_02 27:15

Nice, perfect. Okay, last question for you. Yeah. Um truth or encouragement that you would like listeners to today's show to carry with them. End of the week.

SPEAKER_00 27:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:40

What do you got?

SPEAKER_00 27:41

Anything that has happened to you in the past is not an indication of where you're going and who you can become. I always like to say that life is a choose your own adventure. What page are you gonna turn to next?

SPEAKER_02 28:00

Yeah. Wow. That's pretty cool.

SPEAKER_00 28:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:06

Pretty cool. Okay, so coming up here in uh you've got your one-year celebration.

SPEAKER_00 28:15

Yeah. In June, uh, June 9th, we are celebrating a whole year of Angel's House of Healing being in the flesh. And we're so excited because it's gonna be part celebration, part awareness, and part

Ripple Effects Hope And How To Help

SPEAKER_00 28:32

fundraiser. And we've rented this beautiful space right along the Mississippi River in La Crosse, Wisconsin. And uh the theme of it is gonna be raising spirits, and it's going to be a non-alcoholic event. I want to give people an elevated experience of what it's like to live in Angels House of Healing, where we empower you, where we shower you with love and kindness, um, and show people that there is a different way to live than besides, you know, alcohol and substances.

SPEAKER_02 29:10

Perfect. I love that. So I don't remember, I don't know exactly when this is gonna be coming out, but um hopefully if somebody's listening and would like to you are a nonprofit, right?

SPEAKER_00 29:25

I actually build Angel's House of Healing differently. We run as a for-profit, but partner with a nonprofit to be able to take in donations because I knew I had to build something that was both sustainable and accessible. And so, you know, if there's somebody that wants to donate, we do have um a tax-deductible link on our website, angelshouseofhealing.com. Um, we are also open to anybody that feels called to be a part of this mission, like maybe in volunteer work or helping me on the back end. There's so many people, like I don't know anybody that hasn't been affected by addiction. And so there's so many people that feel called to be a part of this and giving people a second chance. And so um, if that's you, I encourage you to reach out. Our email address is listed on the website.

SPEAKER_02 30:22

And the website will be linked in the show notes. Amber, thank you so much for coming on today. I really, really appreciate it. You guys are you're putting so much good into the world right now, and and every heart that you touch is gonna go out and touch so many more. And uh I I thank you for that.

SPEAKER_00 30:44

Well, I appreciate you having me on to just help spread this mission of love and empowering people to find their way back home to themselves.

SPEAKER_02 30:58

Thanks so much for hanging out with us for today's episode of the Kindness Matters podcast with my guest, Amber Miller, um, from Angel's House of Healing. I really appreciate you tuning in and being part of this kindness community. If you liked what you heard, leaving a quick review or a comment really helps others to find this show, and it means a lot to me personally. Um if you want to support the show, if you want to help us keep putting out um uplifting parts of stories, there's so many ways you can do that, by the way. Um you can uh go to our buy me a coffee page and subscribe or you can make a one-time donation. You can go to our uh books page, or you can even buy my book. All of the links for all of these things, all of these ways to to help us grow and keep spreading the kindness are in the show notes. And if you can't support us financially, that's totally okay. The best way you can support this show is to go out and do one random act of kindness for a stranger today. We will be back again next week with another brand new episode. But until then, remember.