Kindness As A Lifeline

Kindness can sound like a soft idea until you meet someone who survived because other people refused to look away. I’m joined by Betsy Ronel, host of Heavens To Betsy: Let’s Talk Midlife, and her story is as heartbreaking as it is human: she lost her husband suddenly in a car accident, right as they were growing their family, and her life changed overnight. What happened next wasn’t a miracle cure. It was something more believable and more repeatable: strangers showing up with meals, flowers, books, phone calls, and steady presence when she had nothing left to hold on to.

We talk about what choosing kindness looks like when you’re angry, exhausted, and shattered, and why community support matters for grief healing and mental health. Betsy shares one moment that still stops me in my tracks: a young woman who worked at the national cemetery called Betsy after a false rumor hit the newspaper, simply to defend her husband’s character and explain how he once talked her out of taking her own life. It’s a reminder that compassion can travel farther than we’ll ever know, and that small words can become someone’s lifeline.

We also get practical about resilience. Betsy explains her nightly gratitude practice of naming five things, even when the best you can do is “thanks to the person who held the door” or “thanks to the driver who let me merge.” We dig into the idea of being grateful for the problems you have, not as denial, but as perspective that keeps you moving. If you’re looking for a powerful conversation on kindness of strangers, grief, gratitude, and midlife reinvention, this one will stay with you. Subscribe, share with someone who needs it, and please leave a review so more people can find this kindness community.

You can support the show in a few different ways—by grabbing something from our merch store, picking up a copy of my book, or joining us on Buy Me a Coffee. Every bit of support helps keep the podcast going and also helps us give back to nonprofits doing good in the world.

“Intro music: ‘Human First’ by Mike Baker – YouTube Music: https://youtu.be/wRXqkYVarGA | Podcast: Still Here, Still Trying | Website: www.mikebakerhq.com 

Transcript

Welcome And The Ripple Effect

SPEAKER_00 0:22

Welcome to the Kindest Matters podcast. The kindness change of work. Every week. I mean, final items. People, organizations, making a positive difference to the community. Cooling that. Fair helps spread the light a little further. Because when it comes to kindness, the ripple effect is limitless.

SPEAKER_01 1:21

The voice of the crowd.

SPEAKER_00 1:28

Hey, hello, and welcome everybody to the show. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you for joining us. Um wherever you are, whatever you're doing right now, um, please know that I am aware that all of us only have so many hours in the day. And the fact that you are actively choosing to spend 30 minutes of your day, of that precious time, listening to this podcast, um really, as my mom would have said, warms the cockles of my heart, whatever that is. Um, but I think it's a good thing, so so please know that I'm sincere and in saying thank you for joining us today. Um, I have such an amazing show for you guys today. Uh, my guest today is someone who understands in a deeply lived way uh just how kindness can become a lifeline. Um Betsy Ronnell is the host of the Heavens to Betsy Let's Talk Midlife podcast. Did I get that right? I think I get it. Yeah. It's a show where she brings raw honesty, humor, and hard-earned wisdom to conversations about reinvention, grief, and starting over. Several years ago, Betsy lost her husband, a loss that reshaped her life overnight. And in the midst of that heartbreak, she found herself carried more than once by the unexpected kindness of strangers. As she puts it, my life has been blessed by the kindness of strangers in very serious situations. Betsy joins us today to talk about what choosing kindness really looks like when life falls apart, how compassion shows up in the unlikeliest places, and why those small human moments matter more than we think. Welcome to the show, Betsy. I am so excited to have you on.

SPEAKER_02 3:36

Thank you so much. I'm so honored that you asked me to come on, and I'm so happy to know you, Mike, and I just love your whole purview and platform. It's so much what we all need all the time.

SPEAKER_00 3:48

Well, thank you. I I needed it, and so I just assumed, you know, being the self-centered person that I am, that everybody needed that, right? You are right, Mike. And especially today, right? Because yeah. I mean, we all know that there's there's stuff going on. We we seem more divided.

unknown 4:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:10

But you and I both know that there are a lot of really good, kind people just moving through the world, doing what they do, and making a positive difference, right?

SPEAKER_02 4:23

So many. And I I really believe that you know, like 99% of humanity is actually fundamentally good at the heart of it all. Take all this other nonsense aside. Humanity is really good.

SPEAKER_00 4:38

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 4:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:40

Um, so for those of those people that may not know you or know your story, could you I hope it's not too triggering. Could you share a bit about your journey and and and how the loss of your husband shaped where you are today?

SPEAKER_02 4:57

Absolutely. And I and like you, I like to share my story because if I'm what's wrong, Mike? You good? Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_01 5:03

Oh, no, okay.

unknown 5:05

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 5:05

Sorry. Did I make a phrase? You did. It looked like we had paused for a second. I was like, oh, something's gone wrong with the internet. That's okay. That's okay, it's fine. Um, so yes, like you, Mike, I like to share my story because I feel like if I'm going through it, God knows someone else is too. And if I can help someone or validate someone, just one person, I've done my job for the day. So I have no problem sharing. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:30

Great.

The Accident And Community Support

SPEAKER_02 5:31

So I'll tell you. So 15 years ago, my fabulous husband was killed in a car accident on his way home from work. I was 40. He was almost 46. And um, we sort of had like, and I'm not saying this is he's dead, because if he were here, I would kill him right now because I'm so mad at him. But, you know, I'm not putting him on a pedestal. He's still a pain in my neck like he was back then, but we were very much in love. He was the perfect person for me, and we met in sort of a fairy tale way, believe it or not, on match.com in 1999 before it was even a thing.

SPEAKER_01 6:08

He was my 1900s.

SPEAKER_02 6:10

Yes, exactly. Back in the 1900s, an ancient tale of love. And um exactly. And in my they gave you a free week back then, a free trial week. He was my first and only date in my free trial week, and that was it. Sold. Thank you. Yep. So, anyway, yes, we fell in love and and we wanted to get married, we got married and everything. We had a really wonderful life, a really healthy, happy marriage. And uh, and then one day he was a surgeon, and so he would fall. Hey, hi, baby. It always, it always, it's you can count on it.

SPEAKER_00 6:46

Don't look at me, I'm not talking to you.

SPEAKER_02 6:48

No, you can count on it, Mike. I shut my doors, my cats are locked out at my dogs. Whoever does that. Sorry, please continue. That's okay. Maybe, maybe that's Daniel, my husband, coming through. Who knows? You never know. He was a surgeon. Yes, okay, yes, exactly. So he was a surgeon and he would fall asleep, unfortunately, uh, if he wasn't moving or doing something. And so oftentimes in the car, he would fall asleep. And so when they called to tell me he was in an accident, they believe he fell asleep at the wheel. I certainly didn't think he had died. Of course, he died, and luckily unimpact, so there was no suffering. But that was a call you never want to get. And uh, you know, I was pregnant at the time, we were growing our family, and then this happened. And it was just, I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. I just, this is something that can turn you inside out and make you really rotten and angry and bitter and envious and just rageful. And I knew that it could do that. So I was very, I've been very careful all these years not to let it turn me that way. And where the kindness piece is, where you and I connected, is that life wouldn't let me go down that dark path because from the next morning, this happened at night. The next morning, we were living in Santa Fe, New Mexico at the time. The town, it's not a town, it's a city, but it felt like a town, it's a small town feel. Uh, they just rallied around me. I mean, people would drop off flowers at my gate, they would leave food at my gate from strangers. I mean, I had people coming to like plant flowers in my flower pots. I didn't even know them. I mean, you name it. Yeah, it was done. Because unfortunately, yeah, we were kind of well known there and it was in the paper. So whatever. Anyway, and it was February, slow news time, so it was the talk all the time. Yeah. So anyway, but that's okay. But and it was, and like, I and he was a surgeon, so he had a lot of patients. And I had patients calling me that didn't even know me and like, I hope you don't mind. I got your phone number. I don't know how, whatever. I welcomed all the calls. They needed to speak to me to share with me their story with him and how much he helped them, and how loving and kind it was so beautiful and just so incredible. And we had our two young boys at the time. I mean, we would walk into a restaurant and people who knew us, they were just they would come up and I knew your father to my children to you know give them a sense of how important you know he was. It was really amazing. I mean, Santa Fe is a really spiritual place. So to me, I'm so grateful if it had to happen that it happened there, because Santa Fe shows up in the biggest and best ways, I'll tell you. And it shaped our journey because of the kindness of strangers.

SPEAKER_00 9:41

That's that's so incredible. I just I can't imagine you come home from whatever you were doing and look, there's flowers in my flower pots.

SPEAKER_02 9:50

Daily basis, this went on for months.

SPEAKER_00 9:53

What a great way to say you care about somebody, right?

SPEAKER_02 9:56

And I didn't even know these people. These are strangers. And you know, New Mexico is not a rich state. There's not a ton of money there. These are regular folks doing this that where it spending money on flowers cost them. And it was it was a real, you know, it showed how much they cared because I understood where it came from.

SPEAKER_00 10:17

Yeah. It was extraordinary.

SPEAKER_02 10:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:20

Similar story, but uh not the same. Um, my wife and I were we're grocery shopping last weekend, and um we walked over by where the flowers were, and there was a gentleman there, and he was he was going through, he was being very deliberate about going through each bunch of flowers, and he would pick them up and they would look at them from different angles. And um he did he was taking quite a while, and I just kind of lightheartedly I said, you know, I I I hope you're not in the doghouse. And he turned to me and he smiled and he said, Tomorrow is International Women's Day, and I just wanted to give some get some flowers to give out to the women I see tomorrow.

SPEAKER_02 11:03

Oh my goodness. How cool is that? That is something else, man. That's amazing. It's that really like literally my heart just expanded. Wow. That's huge.

SPEAKER_00 11:15

Yeah. Um okay, back on track. Sorry for the interruption.

SPEAKER_01 11:22

Hey, that's okay.

A Lie In The Paper

SPEAKER_00 11:23

It's a whole squirrel moment. Um when you look back on that time, is there anything, is there one thing, any one thing that stands out most to you about the kindness of strangers? I mean, was there one particular incident that that kind of like really stuck with you forever?

The Call That Proved His Heart

SPEAKER_02 11:53

I'm trying to like rack my brain. There was there were so many, so I don't want to discount any of them. But you know, one one sticks out in particular because it was it was just fascinating to me. So um my husband was being harassed by the state medical board because there was uh professional jealousy going on, and it was just pathetic cowboy nonsense, and you know, you know, all Ivy trained, amazing, flawless surgeon, and this one idiot who was like a hundred years old at the time, who never did well in his career anyway, decided to project onto us and like, oh, he's the reason I'm not doing well. So he had the medical board who were his friends, uh, you know, bother us and like try and get us to leave. And they were absolutely abhorrent, childish, disgusting. And I'm told that they that no longer goes on. And I think in big part, large part, because of what happened to us. And we weren't the first. They had done this to a lot of physicians and surgeons, and all of them like bent over and were like, okay, we'll leave. I was like, excuse me. And no, we're not going anywhere. So one of this bad surgeon who was very jealous of my husband, again, who was like a hundred years old, never made it successfully before we landed, certainly wasn't going to help his case now. He decided to run around saying, Oh, Dr. Ronell killed himself. That's he couldn't take the heat, and that's why he's dead. And that went into the paper. Yeah. Oh, he's a he's and he calls himself um uh uh Buddhist sensei, and he has people who follow him, but he is total dark and light duality. And if you look at him, he looks like a serial killer. He's a very disturbed looking person, too. Oh my gosh. Yeah, it's it's not my karma. It it aggravates me because I'm like, what you what's wrong with you? But it used to enrage me, and like people would say, Oh, I bet you know you wish the worst. And I would say, actually, I wish him a really long life. That was my wish for him. Yeah. So, but I used to be enraged by the injustice and the and the I don't care about him, but the fact that the stupid medical board of a state, because they were his cronies, would go after my beautiful husband, especially when some of the medical board had already lost their license to malpractice and then it was reinstated. The whole, and then my husband was killed. And so we never had time to like go after them and right the wrongs and like finish this because he was dead. So and then I was like, and what happens now? Can I still go after these doctors? Like they need to be punished. And they're like, the whole case is dead now. Like we're done here. So he was he was disturbingly running around saying, Yes, Dr. Ronel killed himself. He couldn't take it. Listen, I I know my husband, I knew my husband. Like, if and if he if my husband suffered from mental illness, I would have been the first one out there saying, My God, yes, he killed himself. And here we want to make sure nobody else does that. These are the warnings. I would have been so open because we were very philanthropic there. And we had we have no secrets. So I was, I'm the first one that would have said, Yes, let me help you so you don't have to go through this tragedy. But that was not the case. So when that made the newspaper, this one wonderful young lady who my husband's buried in the National Cemetery because he was a major in the Air Force, who worked at the cemetery, who I didn't know at all, she called me. This is the moment that stands out. She called me, she said, Mrs. Ronell, I want you to know that your husband didn't kill himself. And I was like, I don't remember her name, but I said, Thank you so much. I I know that. What makes you call me? I don't even know you. What makes you call me? She said, Well, I want to tell you how I know he didn't kill himself. And I said, Okay. I mean, I I knew like it wasn't ever a question of my mind. I was like, it's wasn't an issue for me, but okay. It was in the paper.

SPEAKER_01 15:42

But it was important to her.

SPEAKER_02 15:43

Yes, exactly. It was important to her. So I listened, it was a young girl, probably in her 20s at the time. I listened to her. And she was a native New Mexican, just truly the soul of New Mexico. And that's who was calling me on the phone. And um, she said, because I went to see your husband, I don't know, a year or so ago, and she wanted some kind of plastic surgery. And my husband had asked her, why do you want this surgery? And then she, like, I guess, broke down and started crying, and it became more of like a psychiatric appointment, I guess, or a therapy appointment, which had nothing to do with the surgery. She didn't tell me her problems. And she said, But Mrs. Ronell, I wanted to take my own life. And your husband talked me out of it. And the one phrase that he said was that there is nothing, nothing ever in this world that should make you want to take your own life because every life is worth living.

SPEAKER_01 16:41

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 16:41

And she said that that little bit just stuck with her and was the nugget she held on to for now a year later, and that she's alive, her life changed, it turned around, she was happy, she was thriving, she found love. She said it was, and yeah, and she said, and he sat with me two hours, you know, talking to me, holding my hand, like I don't know if he was holding her hand, I made that up. You know, he sat with me for two hours, just really offering her solace and kindness. And that phone call was the one that stuck out. And she's like, you know, here's my number. If I can ever offer you anything, I mean, she was just so lovely. But she said, so I'm just one of many, Mrs. Ronell. Your husband changed a lot of people's lives, and you have a lot of friends in this town. Extraordinary. Right?

SPEAKER_00 17:29

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Yeah, yeah, because she didn't need to do that. But she felt compelled to when she saw the newspaper article.

SPEAKER_02 17:36

Because it was such garbage. Anyone who knew him knew it was garbage, so it didn't even bother me, but whatever. But yes, but it touched her because he was an advocate for her in one two-hour visit. And, you know, she never got the surgery, she didn't need it, you know, and like it's just I mean, but that was my husband. Like, he was so unflappable and so calm and could see through he never saw like these people who were torturing him, you know, torturing, but harassing him. I saw how filthy and disgusting, what savages they were. Come for me, and I'll you want to bring a knife to a gunfight that you start? Guess who's gonna win, people? Me, Betsy Ronell. But he didn't see that level of humanity, he just saw kindness and goodness and light, and that is what he radiated all the time.

SPEAKER_01 18:25

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 18:26

So I love that. So that is one of the kindest things that was done.

SPEAKER_01 18:30

That's so awesome. Long story short.

SPEAKER_02 18:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:36

So when when how do you think kindness because you've kind of been on a healing journey, right? Yes, still am from for the last 15 years or so.

SPEAKER_02 18:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:51

Um how do you think that kindness helped you to heal?

SPEAKER_02 18:57

It made me see it made yes, because it made me see that strangers can see you and that they can read your heart even if you think they can't. And I just felt like I was walking in the grace of God. I mean, I was so shattered and so devastated and so flattened on every level to lose this, this to me, the perfect person for me. Hello, see, that's Daniel. I'm telling you, that's she keeps walking by every time I talk about him. Are you in there, Daniel? Anyway, so um and uh just to just there's grace. There's when some when people know they don't maybe don't even know you, but they can read your energy, and if they can pick up your energy, they offer you a smile, they let you go first, they pat you on the back. I I can't even put words to it, Mike. But there's we are people, right? We are all actually very, very similar. We have the same issues, they just may look a little different. We all share the same emotionals, emotional range, we all share this, well, we would hope, we all share the same emotions, we all share very similar experiences. Again, they just may look a little different, but at the core, those of us that are mentally sound, we share very similar through lines in our lives. And people can read that in each other. And so when people are attuned to others, or maybe when a burden is so heavy for one, it radiates and people can pick that up. And so just the kindness in the simple nod hello, simple holding the door for me, simple, even for me, the checkout girl at the supermarket, I knew your husband. He treated my mother. I just want to thank you. You know, just these the kindness truly of strangers is shaped my journey because it didn't, even though when he died, he was being harassed by these, you know, foolish people. I could have gone down that road and I could have been like, they're alive and he isn't. How dare you, you know, I could have gotten really ugly with it. But it what happened was God and the universe and Daniel turned out hundreds of people. Like his memorial service had people around the block that I never knew. Yeah, I had no idea. And that is what kept me alive. I was like, all right, you know what? People show up. This is amazing. And somehow I was able to fall into the hands of strangers and let them hold space for me. Hello. But that's that's what it was. I allowed people to hold space for me and I trusted in them. And they did not fail me. Yeah, they did not they pe strangers did not fail me. And so that has guided my journey because my mother also said as bad as this is, it could always be way worse. Understand that. And that was very important for me too, because there were the kindness of strangers or people who had a fraction of what I had. And here they were making me a meal, buying me flowers, using their gas money to come to my house to drop off a book. I mean, I had that too. Books on grieving were given to me by strangers. Yeah. I mean, it was incredible, Mike. It was incredible. And it's that it's it's the faith in humanity and the grace that humanity really does offer us and the way you can lean into strangers. That's what guided this healing. I don't feel alone. I am alone. I don't feel alone because I know the world is there for me. That's what guided my jury, and that's what's healed me a lot. Uh I owe my healing in great part to the kindness of strangers. I'm telling you.

SPEAKER_00 22:52

That's so amazing. Yeah. I really, really love that.

Grateful For The Problems You Have

SPEAKER_02 22:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:56

Um, when we were chatting before the show, you you said something. I absolutely love this. Um we were just talking, and you mentioned this this thought, this idea about being grateful for the problems that we have. Oh, yes. Could you unpack that for me a little bit? That that was it was such a great message.

SPEAKER_02 23:21

It's so important. So that goes back to my mother 15 years ago planting the seed in my head that it could always, as bad as it is, it could always be worse. Hence, be she didn't say this, but here we go. Be grateful for the problems you do have. You would never want anyone else's. As bad as our lives can be at times, and you know, there are people the worst is people who have lost a child. There's no greater uh grief than that. Yeah, and and those people are stronger than all of us put together. Uh if you can go on without your child, God bless you, and you deserve every wonderful thing to happen to you going forward and know that your child is bringing it bringing it to you. Um, so I look around, right? Am I entirely happy with my life? No, I'm not. I at a baseline, I'm sad I miss my husband every day. And then I go from there. But I look at my some of people I know and I'm like, on the surface, they look pretty darn fancy, but Okay.

SPEAKER_00 24:20

So we were talking about before we were interrupted, briefly by the internet. Stupid interwebs.

SPEAKER_02 24:28

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 24:31

Um talking about oh, be kind be grateful for the problems that you have.

SPEAKER_02 24:37

Right, right. Why right, exactly. So what I was saying, um, so what I was saying was there I know people in New York. New York is very fancy, and people look very good on the surface. But when I get to know some people and I listen to their problems, I'm like, you couldn't pay me all the money they have to live that way. Thanks very much. I'll take my dead husband, dead mother, dead father, dead in-laws all day long over that life and all that money. Thank you. So yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:09

Yeah, and uh it is because gratitude, I think gratitude and kindness kind of go hand in hand.

SPEAKER_02 25:17

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 25:18

Am I right?

SPEAKER_02 25:19

No, you're right. And I I I miss my husband and my mother, my father, and my in-laws. I miss them sorely every day.

SPEAKER_01 25:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:27

But I am so fortunate in that I had that love. I had my parents, I had my lovely in-laws, I had my beautiful husband. So I get to miss people like that because they were all a rich and deep and beautiful and important part of my life. I'm different because I've been with them, you know, born from them, married into them, you know, whatever. So I will take this grief over anything else because I feel very blessed and very grateful for the life I've had and the life I continue to have.

SPEAKER_00 26:02

Sure. Yeah, absolutely. And just like you were saying, you know, you you get to know some of these people, and it's like I'm lucky, right?

SPEAKER_02 26:14

Exactly. And it makes me feel even better. I'm like, wow, I'm in, you know, a very fancy area. And I'm like, nope, I will live in my life all day long. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 26:25

Thank you very much.

SPEAKER_02 26:27

Thank you. Take it all day, you know, because our problems are, you know, listen, some things are out of our control, right? My husband dying is out of our control. Bad things that do happen to people, they're out of our control. But, you know, there is a saying, and I wish that, you know, whoever, God, the universe, whatever, would stop thinking I can handle that much. But they say you're not giving more than you can handle. Um I'm at capacity here, so to move on to someone else, learn my lessons for now, we're good. But I am, I have, I see, other than my husband dying, I don't understand, I still don't understand why that had to happen. But I've but I'm not bitter about it. I've accepted it and I incorporate it into my life. I just I understand why my in-laws died, like, you know, things I can most things I can understand. Even why my husband was harassed by the medical board, I can understand that too. It makes total sense to me. His death, I I still don't have an answer for, and I've resigned myself to the fact that in this lifetime I may never. But I have used that ripping open of me from grief to become a better, broader, deeper, richer, fuller person.

SPEAKER_01 27:37

Absolutely. Yeah. That's um, that's incredible. Yeah.

Nightly Gratitude And Micro Joys

SPEAKER_00 27:44

So are there any talking back to healing for a second? Are there any everyday rituals or moments uh that help you stay grounded in gratitude? What do you do?

SPEAKER_02 27:58

Yes, I love that question. So every almost every night, can't say every night, sometimes I just fall asleep, but most every night I sort of, you know, and I find that like, and if you speak to spiritual advisors, they often will say the moments before you fully wake and the moments before you fully fall asleep are very powerful moments because you're like in between worlds. You know, you kind of feel like you're almost on like laughing gas, you're kind of like, oh, you're a little woozy, and then you drift off to sleep. So supposedly those are the most important times to speak to the universe, the spirit world, God, whatever it is, your soul, whatever it is that that that you know you talk to. So I name five things that I'm grateful for every almost again, not every day. I'm I can't lie, almost every single day. And some days it says, you know, I'm I'm really skimming the ground here, like circling the drain. I'm like, all right, thank you to the man who held the door open for me at the store. You know, it's not always big and bold things. You know, thank you for the person who let me in on the highway. You know, sometimes it's that, but that is important. But you know, sometimes I'll circle the drain because I'm not feeling so good that day.

SPEAKER_00 29:09

Right, yeah. No, I I I I'm right there with you. Yeah. My sister-in-law started a gratitude journal, and she was like, when she first started, she was like, I can't think of anything. And like a month later, she's like, I'm waking up every morning filling an entire page of I'm like, good for you, because I'm on the same thing every day. Thanks for waking me up one more day, Lord.

SPEAKER_02 29:33

Right, no, I know, but that's just right, no, and and listen, some days we're not gonna have anything, and that's part of the human experience. That's okay, that's the balance. You can't be perfect in perfect harmony every day. That's not normal, you know. And so we're gonna have the highs and lows and the ups and downs and the mid-range, whatever. But the small, but even if being able to acknowledge, wow, thank you, person, for letting me onto the highway, if it's as small as that, that means you are becoming aware. And and that's where the joy is. It doesn't, it's not a windfall, right? We're not winning the lottery every day, whatever that means to us. It's just we can't wait for those moments because those moments are fewer and far or between than the everyday micro sparks, you know, the little micro joys, the way the coffee smells when you pour it if you're a coffee drinker, the way the wind smells when, yeah, I know me too, when the sweet blooms from springs just start to open up, or you know, the way a child, your child smiles at you, or someone letting you on the highway, or someone holding the door open for you when you were already late, it starts that granularly, and then you can really be open to so much more. Yes. So that's my ritual. I I say every as almost every day five things I'm grateful for at night before I go to the house.

SPEAKER_00 30:56

Yeah, is hearing the wind through we have some pine trees on our property. And do you know I I sound crazy when I say that, but the wind going through a pine tree, the sound is so calming and so centering. Yes, that makes any sense.

SPEAKER_02 31:17

Well, it's grounding you, it's putting you in touch with the very essence of life.

SPEAKER_00 31:21

I love that.

unknown 31:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:23

And that will automatically lower my blood pressure. Yes, and the dog.

SPEAKER_02 31:28

Okay, yes. Yes, dogs. I I have three dogs. I love my dogs. And I and I fall asleep with them and I listened to their um their breathing.

SPEAKER_00 31:36

Breathing.

Betsy’s Midlife Podcast Mission

SPEAKER_02 31:37

It just lulls me right to sleep. I love it. Yep.

SPEAKER_00 31:41

So let's talk for a second about your podcast because I do want to pitch your podcast to talk to me about Heavens to Beth B.

SPEAKER_01 31:51

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 31:52

But there's a subtitle. Let's talk midlife.

SPEAKER_02 31:55

Let's talk midlife, because I'm a New Yorker. Let's talk, you know. Let's talk, Mike. Let's talk. So, yeah, tell me what what?

SPEAKER_00 32:04

Nope, go ahead.

SPEAKER_02 32:05

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 32:05

I just had a flashback to what? Mike Myers and and and who was it, Danick Harvey?

SPEAKER_02 32:11

Yes. Yes. Um, oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 32:15

I can't remember the name of the skit, but yes.

SPEAKER_02 32:18

Let's talk.

SPEAKER_00 32:19

You said that and I I immediately thought.

SPEAKER_02 32:21

Coffee talk? Do you mean coffee talk? Coffee talk, yeah. Okay, yeah, yeah. Isn't that funny? Right. Well, that was based off of, I think, Long Island women, and they have a very thick accent, like it's a very thick New York accent. It's different.

SPEAKER_00 32:35

Is that the that's not the same one as a friend dressure?

SPEAKER_02 32:40

I don't know where her accent was. It was a little bit Long Island y. She was that was a fascinating accent that she put on.

SPEAKER_00 32:47

Well, was that her real voice? No. She's a very yeah, no. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 32:53

She has a very like California flat, no accent, deep voice. And she took a lot of things.

SPEAKER_00 32:58

She was so disillusioned.

SPEAKER_02 32:59

Yeah, I can't I can't even imagine how she talked like this all the time. I mean, oh gosh. Yeah. Anyhow. Okay. Anywho. Yes. So my my podcast, like yours, was based off of all the things I've gone through in my life. And the more people I meet, the more stories I hear. The more I know I'm in good company with everyone who's gone through something. So I just try to highlight, especially for mid the midlife years, you know, especially for women. Yeah, a lot of our mothers didn't talk to us about like all the things that happened or like our moods or whatever. Or we've I think that this generation, 40 and up, this, you know, between 40 and 65 is what I consider fairly midlife. And yeah, I mean, I'm giving it a wide birth there, but you know, fair. It's a generation. Yeah. Exactly, exactly. So I feel that, you know, this generation or two is really into talking about how far they've come, where they've started, where they are, the trials and tribulations of getting there, how a lot of life fell apart and that's been rebuilt. Um, I think that's just much more open discussion about midlife and and all and how the grass is rarely greener.

SPEAKER_00 34:18

I would think that that's pretty fertile ground. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 34:21

Yeah. Yeah, there you go.

SPEAKER_00 34:22

I just came up with that when you said grass. I like that.

SPEAKER_02 34:24

I like that. I like it a lot. So, yeah, so that's what it is. It's talking about all things midlife, men, women, uh, you know, the others, everybody who is in existence and is fortunate enough to live beyond age 40, we're talking about it. And that's what we do.

SPEAKER_00 34:42

Yeah. I've listened to a couple episodes. They are absolutely fantastic. Are you on all the platforms?

SPEAKER_02 34:48

All of them, yes. Thanks, Mike. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 34:50

All the platforms.

Final Takeaway And How To Help

SPEAKER_02 34:51

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 34:52

One final question for you.

SPEAKER_02 34:54

Yes, sir.

SPEAKER_00 34:56

What's one message that you hope listeners take away from your story today?

SPEAKER_02 35:05

What my mother said. As whatever it is that you're going through, it could always be worse. I know that doesn't sound comforting, but think about it because it is. So therefore, we are grateful for the problems that we have as rough as life can be with us. And I am talking about really horrible situations that you don't deserve to be into. But here's a a piece of that. You've got to get up every day and put your feet on the ground and keep going. Because eventually you will get through that problem. And you will be able to come around the other side and look at it square on and be like, I got it. I'm grateful for that because look at where it led me.

SPEAKER_00 35:46

Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 35:48

The worst. The worst. You can, you too, you can we can all get through it.

SPEAKER_00 35:55

Absolutely. That's how can I I can't even end that way. I have to end that way. But I can't. Etsy Ronell, thank you so much. Oh, also we should mention that if any of our listeners are looking to sell or buy a house in Westchester County.

SPEAKER_02 36:13

Oh, you're so sweet. Yes, I am a real estate.

SPEAKER_00 36:16

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 36:17

Thank you. I do pay my bills by real estate. This is the fun stuff for me. Real estate's fun too, but this is my creative or paying jobs, right? Yeah. Until we get picked up and then we become, you know, real podcasters, Mike. You never know.

SPEAKER_00 36:33

Dare to dream.

SPEAKER_02 36:35

Put it in the universe.

SPEAKER_00 36:37

Don't forget to support the buy. No, I'm not going to say that. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Ron Betsy, for coming on. I really appreciate it. This has been such a joy to speak with you today.

SPEAKER_02 36:48

I've been so looking forward to our time together. And just from the minute I saw your podcast, you know, advertise and the minute we had our first chat, I'm like, this man is on my level. He gets it. He knows. So thank you for allowing me to come on your platform and share my story. I'm grateful.

SPEAKER_00 37:07

Take care, and we will talk soon.

SPEAKER_02 37:09

All right. Thanks, Mike.

SPEAKER_00 37:13

Human. Thank you so much for hanging out with us for today's episode of the Kindness Matters Podcast with my guest, Betsy Ronell. I really appreciate you tuning in and being a part of this kindness community. If you liked what you heard, leaving a quick review or a comment really helps others find the show, and it means a lot to me personally. Also you don't have to tell your friends and neighbors about this amazing podcast that works you are. If you can't support a finance weight, that's totally okay. The best way you can support the show is to go out and do one random act of finance first rate for today. But if you are in a position to open a scroll, you can make a one-time gift or show in one of our monthly support here over on finding it coffee. So wait just as a show notes, go five ways for our workstore and uh and my books. Gotta get them all in right.