Stage Lights, Soft Hearts

What if a classroom could feel like a rehearsal room—brave, focused, and full of possibility? We sit down with 25-year-old performing arts teacher Avelyn Simons to explore how kindness, boundaries, and creative practice can transform shy teens into confident speakers and generous teammates. From building a drama program from scratch to steering a mixed-ability public speaking class, Avelyn shares real stories, simple systems, and a service-first approach that makes empathy actionable.

We dig into the realities of earning respect as a young educator and why “phone jail” isn’t about control but about making space for presence. Avelyn breaks down how theater games lower social risk, how structure turns nerves into clarity, and how students learn more than lines—they learn to read a room, project calm, and show up for each other. The conversation moves from backstage heroics and 10-second costume changes to community trips where students bring the magic of performance to immigrant and lower-income families, reframing talent as a gift meant to be shared.

Along the way, you’ll hear about moments that sparkle—singing at the Empire State Building, unexpected breakthroughs from a sports kid who found his voice, and the handwritten notes that remind teachers why the work matters. If you care about arts education, classroom culture, student confidence, or practical ways to weave empathy into everyday learning, this conversation will land. Subscribe, share with a teacher or parent who needs a lift, and leave a review telling us your favorite takeaway—your voice helps more listeners find stories of kindness that last.

Transcript

Welcome, Mission, And Today’s Guest

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Hello everyone and welcome to the Kindness Matters Podcast. I'm your host, Mike Raspite. On this podcast, we promote positivity, empathy, and compassion. Because we believe that kindness is alive and well, and there are people and organizations that you may not have heard of in the world, making our communities a better place for everyone. And we want you to hear their stories. On this podcast, we talk about matters of kindness. Because kindness matters. Hey everybody! Hello and welcome to the Kindness Matters Podcast. I am your host, Mike Rathbun, and I want to thank you so much for a finding this podcast, and B deciding to listen in for half an hour or so. We hope to bring you some uplifting, inspiring, heartwarming, and a whole bunch of other adjective words that we've got here. I'm usually better at this.

SPEAKER_02 1:05

It's okay.

Avelyn’s Path From Performer To Teacher

SPEAKER_03 1:08

Thank you for joining in. Thank you for listening in. And if you find anything in this podcast that makes you feel good or leaves you with a smile on your face, make sure you tell your friends, your family, your co-workers, and random strangers on the street that you found a really great podcast that makes you feel good listening to it. I would appreciate it. And so that's all you need to know about that. Or as Tom Hanks would say, That's all I gotta say about that. Actually, it was forest gump, wasn't it? Okay. I have got a fantastic show for you guys today. My guest today is one Avelyn Simons. Did I do that right?

SPEAKER_01 1:47

Yeah, you did. It was great. First try. It's very rare.

SPEAKER_03 1:51

I just did first try. I've been practicing it all afternoon.

SPEAKER_01 1:55

Thank you. That's so thoughtful.

SPEAKER_03 1:58

Avelyn teaches drama, public speaking, music and film, and intro to film for the performing arts department of Immaculate. That's the word I screwed up on. Immaculata.

SPEAKER_01 2:11

It's okay.

SPEAKER_03 2:12

High school in New Jersey. Welcome to the show at my Avelyn.

SPEAKER_01 2:16

Thank you for having me, man.

SPEAKER_03 2:18

It is so amazing to have you here. Love the backdrop for you. Absolutely love the backdrop. You're currently on stage, it looks like.

SPEAKER_00 2:25

Thank you. Yeah, I am on stage. Um, so I thought, you know, take it from school, and what better way to have a little background going on, a little bit of set? I pulled up the piano for aesthetic purposes, but absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 2:37

So now you I was gonna ask how old you were. It doesn't matter. That's not the point. You can you look incredibly young to be a professor.

SPEAKER_00 2:44

Um, not a professor. Uh yes. Um, just a teacher. But I'm I just turned 25.

SPEAKER_01 2:51

So thank you.

SPEAKER_03 2:52

Happy birthday.

SPEAKER_01 2:54

Thank you. Thank you, thank you.

SPEAKER_03 2:55

That would be really loud on if I clapped, so I'm not gonna do that. I'll give you like, yeah, offstage clap.

SPEAKER_02 3:02

Yeah, round of applause. All day round.

SPEAKER_03 3:06

It's a good thing this is a uh audio only podcast. How did you find your way to teaching in the performing arts department of a Catholic high school in New Jersey, Ms. Havlin?

SPEAKER_00 3:18

Yeah. Um I um I was looking for um some opportunities to teach while I was an undergrad. I originally was, you know, a performer and still am, uh, but now it's not really my my main thing that I do. So I was looking for some directorial experience. So I started directing a couple um, you know, middle school shows when I was an undergrad, um, as well as assistant teaching whenever I could. And then when graduation pulled up, um, I was looking for going to get my master's in teaching uh because it was something that really excited me. And I think the arts education is so important. And unfortunately, there are a lot of programs that are cutting their arts teaching programs. So I was like, oh no, I mean, I can't go to grad school, so I gotta, I guess I have to find a job. Lo and behold, there was an opening at Immaculata for a brand new drama program, Build It From the Ground Up, uh opening. So I said, What the heck? I applied, and now my life is completely changed because of it, and I'm very grateful.

Earning Respect As A Young Educator

SPEAKER_03 4:17

The rest, as they say, is history.

SPEAKER_00 4:19

It's history. So yeah, worked out amazingly.

SPEAKER_03 4:22

That's perfect. So I can only imagine the challenges, first of all, of teaching in general, but of high school, because there's not a lot of there's a very small in the scheme of things, age difference between you and your students, right?

SPEAKER_00 4:37

Yeah, especially when I first started, you know, I I was um I was 22 when I got hired. So, you know, between the seniors and me, it's four years. So that was a little challenging to navigate because um, you know, when any kid sees like a young teacher, you know, they're like, oh, either I can be her friend or what can I get away with? And it's sort of like it's a balance because you always want to present the kindness, you want to present the goodness, uh, but you also need to present that you're a leader, that you uh possess authority, and that you deserve to be respected. So I learned those things over time, and luckily I did earn that respect in time, especially when it comes to cell phones. You know, don't take those out while I'm talking. Collect them right at the beginning of class.

SPEAKER_02 5:22

Do you huh? Everybody put it in the basket?

SPEAKER_00 5:25

Yeah, yeah. I call it phone jail. So tell your mother's.

SPEAKER_01 5:32

Absolutely, absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 5:34

Yeah, I know they're that's a kind of a huge deal. I mean, when I was going to school, we don't even want to go there. Obviously, there were no phone, there were no cell phones or or anything like that, but I can only imagine how disruptive they are. And every kid has one, right?

Phone Jail And Classroom Boundaries

SPEAKER_00 5:52

Oh, yeah, for sure. Absolutely. Um, and the thing is they're they're they're addictive. Like the kids like are addicted to it. Um you know, phones are a wonderful thing in many ways. But I mean, do you really like Snapchat during class? No, you don't. No, you don't.

SPEAKER_03 6:07

Yeah, I know. I I think they're playing around here in Minnesota, they're playing around with a law about putting them away or securing them, or a lot of nuance to that.

SPEAKER_00 6:20

Yeah, it's a very complex issue. Um, it's a very complex issue. Um Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 6:24

You know, I I couldn't even imagine if something happened at my school when I was growing up, there was absolutely no way I was gonna get a hold of one of my parents.

SPEAKER_00 6:34

Right.

SPEAKER_03 6:35

Much less text with them during class.

SPEAKER_00 6:38

True, true. Yeah, but it it is, you know, it is the way of the world. You know, but I will say, you know, as much as I am a phone snatcher during class, you know, there is the occasional kid like, hey, like, you know, something happened at home, or hey, can I text my mom really quick to pick me up early? You know, I'm not gonna deny a kid of that at all.

SPEAKER_03 6:56

Absolutely not. So, okay, let's talk about so when and you teach a number of things, drama. Public speaking, I think, is amazing, and I think that's something that every kid should have because public speaking can be difficult, and well, it is. I don't think I could do it. I'm great here, I'm okay here. I said it's a good thing. But if I were to have to do it, you know, on a stage in front of X number of people, I'm not sure I could do it. Is it is it hard to teach kids that?

SPEAKER_02 7:30

Uh yes. Public speaking?

Teaching Public Speaking With Safety And Trust

SPEAKER_00 7:31

Yeah, because that class, very differently than my other classes, just brings in such a range of kids. You know, these aren't my actor kids, these aren't my music kids, these are the kids that are either, you know, really wanting to learn or they're really shy, and my mom said I should take this class. So it's just kind of a mixed bag. But what helps a lot is in the beginning of the year, I do a lot of like team building activities and like theater games and stuff, which sounds like on the surface like a waste of time, but it's so important because it gets the kids comfortable with me and comfortable with each other that when we start doing, you know, the informative speeches, the persuasive speeches, the everything, um, you know, they're comfy and they know that they're in a safe space. Um, and I think it's great for them to understand awareness with how they talk. Um, because it's more than just the words you say, it's just your overall presence. Do you look confident? You know, what gestures are you using? What does your voice sound like? Um, because we're all human, right? So um that's one of my if it's one of my if not my favorite class to teach, uh, which is bizarre because it's not my main thing, but I really, really enjoy my time with those kids.

SPEAKER_03 8:36

Well, and I mean, when as an actress or an actor, you're there's a lot of elements of public speaking that go into that as well, projection and and whatnot.

SPEAKER_00 8:46

Sure.

SPEAKER_03 8:47

So it is kind of a natural fit, it seems like, is it not?

SPEAKER_00 8:50

No, it definitely is. The only real obstacle I had was just doing the research on, you know, how different forms of speeches are structured, um, and you know, really emphasizing which elements of public speaking I want to talk about, um, and just creating like a range of projects. Um, one of my favorite projects we do is uh I do a unit on like instructional design. So they have to think like a teacher. So they make like a little lesson plan and then they teach me something. So um they do it in groups. So one group, like last year, taught me how to create, we made slime, you know, another group we made lattes, another group we made friendship bracelets. So obviously, you know, we do the written portion first and everything, but then after that, you know, they they show me how to do it and put it all together. Because for teachers, like a lesson plan is like, what are your objectives? You know, what are your goals? What are your what's your content? How are you gonna put it all together? So they have to start thinking like a teacher. And I hope in some ways it helps them appreciate the work that we do that we put into that. Uh, but uh it's fun for them too.

SPEAKER_03 9:48

Cool. You had mentioned earlier something about a safe space, and and that was gonna be actually one of my questions, because high school can be a tough time for a lot of students.

SPEAKER_00 9:59

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 10:00

Have you seen theater provide a safe space where where kindness thrives?

SPEAKER_00 10:05

Yeah, absolutely. Um, I think theater and the arts has a reputation of being a pretty welcoming community. Um, we're all artists, we're all from different walks of life, and that what's that's what that's what sorry, that's what create that's my gosh, I can't talk. That is what creates.

SPEAKER_02 10:21

I broke you.

SPEAKER_00 10:22

Oh my gosh. It's okay. It's it's the end of the day. Um yeah, I'm even wearing makeup because I was like, oh goodness, I can't show up without that.

SPEAKER_03 10:29

Anyway, I could use some of that.

SPEAKER_00 10:32

Huh?

SPEAKER_03 10:33

I could use some of that.

SPEAKER_00 10:34

No, you look great. Anyway, that is what creates um such such a successful mode of art. It depends on the kid, how they take in the kindness and what they put out. But I've had some kids, I had a couple of kids that, you know, were special needs, and they, you know, it's so wonderful to see them thrive in this environment. I had one kid that graduated and she wrote me a note saying how much her confidence rose and how like comfortable she feels in this space. And while she's not going on to be a performer, you know, it really impacted her for a long time. I had a boy who was in my show last year, and he came out of like the woodworks. He never had been in a show, he never done anything musical, like he's mostly a sports kid, and he was such a sweetheart, and his parents were so kind. And his mother wrote me a handwritten letter at the end of the year saying, Thank you for the experience. Like this has been my son's highlight of his senior year, and now he's, you know, singing in college. So you just never know how this space and this genre of art really does impact someone. And in terms of kindness, you know, just the energy of being around a lot of really wonderful kids and wonderful people who all share like a similar brain cell that you do, um, is such a beautiful experience. And also just knowing that you are able to express yourself and be yourself in whatever way, shape, or form you want, you can do it all right here.

SPEAKER_03 11:56

Yeah. Oh, for sure. Oh, that's awesome.

SPEAKER_00 11:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 11:59

Um so when you you teach these kids, hang on a second, I'm sorry. I've lost my way.

SPEAKER_01 12:05

It's okay.

Projects That Build Presence And Voice

SPEAKER_03 12:06

So you're you're you're teaching kids how to act and and to like theater act, not don't act up act.

SPEAKER_01 12:16

But you know, right, definitely not that.

SPEAKER_03 12:18

Um how do you encourage them to not just be great actors, but also kind human beings?

SPEAKER_00 12:30

That's a really great thing to say. A good question. So it's a balance. I think, you know, like being an actor or like just being in the arts in general gets a reputation of, oh, you're a diva, you're a this, you're that. And those people do exist in this world. I seen it, happily will say it does exist, and I've seen it with my students too. But um, for example, tomorrow I'm actually taking my kids on uh my drama kids on a community service trip where we're working with uh children in need, particularly um immigrant families um and lower income families, and kind of sharing with them what we've learned. Um, we're gonna play some games with them, we're going to put on a little theatrical for them, um, just so they can experience the magic of theater. But more importantly, the reason why this is my second year doing this specific trip, uh, but the reason why I love this trip is because I want my kids to see um how special theater is and how it can impact someone, especially someone in need. Um, because it's not always about me, me, me, me, me, I sing the best, I act the best, I'm, you know, getting photos done or whatever. It's not, it's not about that. It's really about it's really about the heart of it.

SPEAKER_03 13:33

Yeah. Oh, for sure. And and there are so many, there's a lot of great shows, movies, fame, I think, comes to mind about a group of people who come together and they come from very different backgrounds, but they work as a team. Because really, performing is a team sport, is it not?

SPEAKER_00 13:52

100%. I I usually do compare us to sports in some capacity. Um, every single person on this stage, in the booth, in the wings, all makes it happen. And, you know, especially the people backstage are kind of like the unsung heroes of the show's success. Um, and I'm very grateful for those people. And even as a performer, like would not be able to do tech 10-second costume changes without them. So they everybody helps make the magic magic happen.

SPEAKER_03 14:18

Yeah, they're whether it's a set creator or props or what have you, they're all because without one of them, the show falls apart, right?

SPEAKER_01 14:29

Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 14:32

That's that's so cool. And I was gonna ask you if you could share a story you already did about a student who was impacted by your kindness. So now I'm off track.

SPEAKER_01 14:42

That's okay, sorry.

SPEAKER_03 14:43

I you know what, I and I was I was in choir in middle school and high school, and we did the choir did a couple of we did a few shows, but I absolutely loved that time, and I noticed probably not until I was older, but you know in middle school, they call it middle school now, we called it junior high school back then. We had this choir director and we would we would do community service projects to earn money to take a trip every year.

SPEAKER_01 15:18

Uh huh.

Theater As A Safe, Welcoming Community

SPEAKER_03 15:20

One year we did cleanup on a movie set because they shot a movie near our our hometown. And it was a movie, it should have been a bigger movie than it was, Avalon. It was called The Missouri Breaks. And it starred, and I kid you not, Marlon Brando and Jack Nicholson. You're talking the mid-70s. These were huge stars back then, right? And um it flopped. It flopped so bad. But you know, we would uh go out and we'd clean up the you know Marlon Brando's cue cards were like the letters on them were like because he was blind as a bat.

SPEAKER_01 15:57

Oh my god, that's so cool.

SPEAKER_03 15:59

That was so cool though to get that experience of what goes into movie making. But then with the money that we made from that, we would take a trip as a class, as a choir class. And in return for that trip, we because we probably got a discounted rate, um, we would give a concert.

SPEAKER_01 16:20

Oh, that's nice.

SPEAKER_03 16:21

Just that whole entire experience was so cool. And and I I absolutely loved every second of it.

SPEAKER_00 16:29

That's so lovely.

SPEAKER_03 16:31

It was it was really cool.

SPEAKER_00 16:33

You know, you were in the vicinity where Marlon Brando and Jack Nicholson were. That's pretty epic.

SPEAKER_03 16:39

Spoiler alert, it was a western and it was filmed in Montana. So go figure. Honest to gosh, go look up IMDB or something and look up the Missouri Breaks.

SPEAKER_02 16:50

I will. I will.

SPEAKER_03 16:52

It's probably got like a Rotten Tomatoes score of 10 or something. I don't even know if it's do they rate movies that yeah that old? I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 16:59

Probably I I don't know actually.

SPEAKER_03 17:01

I sat down, I think I found it on streaming somewhere. I don't remember where, but yeah, I tried to watch it. It was like it was really bad. There were a couple of other fairly good sized names in that as well, but it doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_02 17:13

That's so cool.

SPEAKER_03 17:15

So what when you're talking about teaching, and if you could give advice to other educators about weaving kindness into their teaching, what would you say?

Kindness Stories That Change Trajectories

SPEAKER_00 17:26

Um, I think there are a couple points about that that are pretty important. One of them is just understanding, like my advice would just be, I mean, I'm sure every educator would say this, is just understanding the range of kids that you're going to have. I mean, that's something that they don't teach you um before you're a teacher, um, is that you're going to have kids from all different kinds of backgrounds, learning styles, whatever. And you really have to take in the whole person before, you know, you um assess like either their you know their obstacles or anything like that. So that's super important. Because you never know who you're gonna touch. You never know who you are going to impact, you never know, you just never know. So, and that takes a while to assess, you know, and it's not like you necessarily interview every kid, but over time you just sort of start to understand their character and you develop a relationship with them, and that's super helpful, especially in a small school. That's what I've loved, is that I really get to um develop relationships with each one of my kids, which has been great, really, really great. And then I think my second for kindness too is like teaching is such a mentally, physically, and like emotionally exhausting job. You know, they they really do say that it's kind of like being a parent. And obviously I'm very young, but I feel like a parent to a lot of these kids because I have to be a role model for them, you know. So everything that you do, like they will retain, they will remember, they will pick up. Um so you always have to be conscious of how you're presenting yourself and how you're taking care of yourself because that if you're kind to yourself, that energy is just gonna come right right out to you. Um, so that self-care after school, super important, you know, fill your cup, get some rest. Uh wow.

SPEAKER_03 19:02

Yeah, absolutely. That that must be a a skill and I'm not sure every teacher learns it. What you were talking about being prepared to address each kid individually or or because do they teach you that in in college when you're going for your teaching degree? Do they teach you you're gonna have kids from every corner of the globe, they're all gonna have their own different ways of thinking and different, you know, and you have to be kind of prepared for that, right?

SPEAKER_00 19:34

Yeah, I mean, you know, they'll warn you that, you know, just to be conscious of that, but it's not no. A lot of what I've learned, I mean, and I don't have a degree in teaching necessarily, but it did take teaching classes while I was an undergrad. But a lot of it's just experience-based. You just kind of have to figure it out when you get in the room and have the capacity to assess the situation and figure out maybe where the trouble spots spots are, maybe where you know the the uh better behaved kids are, you know, who's who's got like a learning disability, who needs extra assistance, who blah blah blah blah. Um it's just such a range of range of things.

SPEAKER_03 20:11

Yeah, for sure. Hey, did I see that you performed at the Empire State Building?

SPEAKER_00 20:17

I did, yes.

SPEAKER_03 20:19

What was that about?

SPEAKER_00 20:21

So I was uh in high school, I was with um Paper Mill Playhouse and their show choir. So we did, I think, did we go all three years I was there? Maybe two. We went twice. It was like for tourism. We just went we went to almost the top floor and sang to any tourists that were coming in, and then we did like a donor performance as well. Um and then we got to go all the way to the top and see all the sites. So yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:43

Cool. Yeah, it's kind of like okay, so my little field trip, we went to some hot spring spa hotel that was run down. You get to go to the Empire State. You also worked with Kelly Rippa? Name dropper.

SPEAKER_00 20:58

Work with her, I just sang it at an event she was at.

SPEAKER_03 21:01

So I got to sing she went on stage. Maybe she needs to call you.

SPEAKER_00 21:07

Just saying maybe, yeah. Kelly, I'll give you my number.

Performance Is A Team Sport

SPEAKER_03 21:12

Call me. So, and we we've talked about a lot about how teachers influence kindness in their students. Last question How do your students inspire you with their acts of kindness?

SPEAKER_00 21:25

That's a good question. Um, a lot of them do in so many ways. Um there was one student last year, uh very, very sweet girl, super talented, like honors AP student. Like she was crazy, crazy wonderful in so many ways. Um, and I always told her that I was like, I want to be you when I grow up. Like she was kind, she was all around, just a good kid. Um and she was like, nah, Miss Simons, like you're old. I'm like, no, no, no. I said, I want to be you when I grow up. And then I almost cried at the end of the year. She gave me a note and a little plaque that said, I want to be Miss Simons when I grow up. And I was like, oh, tears. So, you know, just me admiring her, you don't understand sometimes they admire you back. Um and you know, the kids always astound me in many ways. I have one little girl and she's really, really like genuinely kind to everybody she encounters, even some of the, you know, how I put it, some of them not as kind of the, you know, the popular girls really aren't her crew. Um she is still endlessly kind to them. I love your sweater, you know, da-da-da-da-da. Like, oh, you did great today in class, you know. And I'm like, you know, like I admire her because I don't know if I at the time or even now would have the capacity to compliment someone that hurt me, you know? And that's that's such a huge, huge thing for her maturity. So I really, I really uh admire them and see them being kind each and every day. And especially at a um Catholic school, um, you know, they do community service trips and whatnot. And, you know, I have a number of kids that do sign up willingly. Um even when I take my kids tomorrow, we did it last year, they had a great time. It's so nice to see them uh impact the lives of these younger students and uh just constantly display, you know, we're gonna be there most of the day. And they just are gonna display so much kindness um because they genuinely, genuinely want to make these kids' days better.

SPEAKER_03 23:20

Fantastic. Adeline Simons, thank you so much for everything that you do for bringing up kind kids in what can sometimes be an unkind world.

SPEAKER_00 23:33

It really is. It really is. So yeah, it's nice to see you in my students every so often for sure.

SPEAKER_03 23:40

Fantastic. Thank you for being on. We will uh we will be in touch and you keep doing what you're doing, girl, because you're doing well.

SPEAKER_01 23:49

Thank you so much, Mike. I appreciate it.

SPEAKER_03 23:53

We'll talk later.

SPEAKER_01 23:54

Okie dokie.

Practical Kindness For Educators

SPEAKER_03 23:56

Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the Kindness Matters Podcast with my guest, Avalyn Simons. I hope this episode left you feeling a little easier, a little more hopeful about the state of the world we all share. If you enjoyed this episode, if you felt a certain kind of way after listening, please, please, please feel free to tell your friends, family, and co-workers about us. Don't forget to subscribe wherever you listen to us, whether it's Spotify, Apple, any of the other podcast platforms, and don't forget to subscribe to our newsletter. It's absolutely free. And there's a link at the bottom of the uh show notes there. Every month you'll get an uplifting newsletter with um stories of kindness and just people being amazing. It'll be in your email box once a month, every month. And uh I'm sure you'll enjoy that as well if you enjoyed this uh podcast. You have been listening to the kindness matters podcast. We will be back again next week with a brand new episode, and we would be honored if you would join us again. Until then, just remember, kindness matters, and so do you.