The Kindness Matters Podcast

Myths, Meet Reality: Homelessness in America.

• Mike

Share episode

Send us a text

A lot of people talk about homelessness. Fewer people step inside a shelter and see what actually works. We sat down with Helen Kuchera to pull back the curtain on a low‑barrier, trauma‑informed approach that treats people as people—and the results are both practical and hopeful.

We start by dismantling the myths: laziness, “choice,” and the assumption that everyone on the street is addicted. Helen shares the real barriers—no ID, no address, no clean clothes—and how those small missing pieces shut people out of jobs, health care, and housing. From there, we tour the inner workings of a 75‑bed congregate shelter with pods for families, women, men, and couples, an on‑site clinic, housing navigation, and a chef-led kitchen serving thousands of meals each month. The low‑barrier philosophy is clear: you can come as you are, be a good neighbor, and start building stability today.

One of the most eye‑opening parts? Co‑sheltering with pets. By assessing and welcoming animals, the team removes a major reason people avoid shelter, and in the process preserves bonds that carry guests through their toughest days. Helen also talks candidly about staff compassion and the cost of caring—secondary trauma, the need for boundaries, and why self‑care and education are non‑negotiable if you want sustainable kindness. Along the way, we offer concrete ways for listeners to help in their own neighborhoods: targeted donations (think adult pull‑ups and hygiene kits), volunteering, and small, human gestures like water, fruit, or a steady “good morning.”

If you’re ready to replace judgment with understanding and questions with action, this conversation will give you the language, the tools, and the motivation to start. Subscribe for more stories that center dignity, share this with someone who cares, and leave a review to help others find the show. Your kindness travels farther than you think.

Support the show

SPEAKER_03:

Hello everyone and welcome to the Kindness Matters Podcast. I'm your host, Mike Rap. On this podcast, we promote positivity, empathy, and compassion. Because we believe that kindness is alive and well, and there are people and organizations that you may not have heard of in the world. Making our communities a better place for everyone. And we want you to hear their stories. On this podcast, we talk about matters of kindness. Because kindness matters. Hey, hello, and welcome everybody. Thank you so, so, so much for making the choice to jump on and listen in on another episode of the Kindness Matters podcast. I'm your host, Mike Rathbun, and our goal here is to introduce you to some thoughts and some people who are out in the world every day just making a positive difference on others. And um I hope you'll feel inspired by this or motivated, or just even if you feel uplifted a little bit, then we feel like we've done our job. And if any of those things are true, make sure you share this with your family and friends. Tell them you found a great podcast that makes you feel a little bit better. So I would appreciate that. I appreciate you. We have a fantastic show for you today. My guest is Helen Coutera, and she is a program director with the Kitsap K-I-T-S-A-F. S-A-F-K-I-T-Sap Kitsap Rescue Mission in Port Orchard, Washington. It's a suburb of Seattle, if you're not familiar with the area. And they provide services to uh the unhoused, the homeless, however you want to say that. Uh welcome to the show, Helen. Thank you so much for joining me today.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_03:

Wow, this is fantastic. And yeah, I've done a few shows about the homeless. We're just gonna keep hammering it to you until you people listen and realize that these are human beings that need our help. And so yeah, there. That's it.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

He says as he climbs down off his soapbox. So uh, how long have you been a program? How long have you been with Kids out?

SPEAKER_00:

So this is my uh three and a half years.

SPEAKER_02:

Three and a half years.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, prior prior to that, I was a clinician with a mental health um facility for about 13 years and then uh probation and parole officer. Yeah. So I've been around the the block a little.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay, I was gonna say, is that like a it seems like kind of a natural progression?

SPEAKER_00:

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. But yeah, maybe I'm wrong. Yep, yep, absolutely.

SPEAKER_03:

Um now, and Kidsap is not the only people in the Seattle area. How many do you know how many other organizations there are?

SPEAKER_00:

So I can't really speak for Seattle, but I know in this little area of Kidsap Peninsula, there's probably um a good dozen other shelters, if not a little bit more. And so, yeah, and so what we have, we have a coordinated entry. And so then how's we come in and um fill on application, and whatever a good fit shelter will be, then they're kind of directed to that shelter.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay. Now, do you guys I'm guessing you guys collaborate then by that?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, sure. So it's kind of like a trunk of a tree, is where this coordinated entry is, and the branches are all the different shelters and all the different resources, and so it's it's really a great program, actually. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Nice, nice. So I have so many questions, but we'll start off easy. Um and I and I think it's fair to say that a lot of people have they they look abstractly at homelessness, you know, you say, oh, that's horrible. Nobody should have to go through that. But then if they ever happen to run across somebody who's unhoused, the probably the reaction is not quite as kind as that. Or if it's suggested that a shelter for the homeless be built in or near their neighborhood, I I'm guessing they don't have quite the empathetic reaction. Do you find that to be true?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, there's just so many myths out there about homelessness. I mean, just I mean, you know, and I did write some of these down. It's like they don't want to get a job, you know, they they they're lazy. Yeah. And, you know, that's where they want to be. And they just, you know, they just don't want to, they don't want to do anything, you know, and everybody's mentally ill and they all choose to be there. And those are all myths, Mike. Those are all myths. I mean, can you imagine looking for a job and not being able to apply for a job, not being able to take a shower, not being able to wash your clothes, and then is anybody gonna hire you? No, they're not gonna hire you. But there's so many myths out there that the public, that's what they base their opinion on the homeless, is over these myths. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Right, yeah. And the only the other thing you missed was was addiction. Yes, addiction. That's a myth that I think, and I and you hear that a lot too when you s when you talk about that. Uh when you talk about the population, is they're all addicts.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, yes, yes. And and which is in all reality. In all reality, that's not that's not a truth. That's not a fact. And what does happen is sometimes they become homeless, and because of the trauma, they they they they do start using because they drown their sorrows and try to dismiss anything they have through substance abuse.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, for sure. So and your staff there, I mean kudos to to the people, because uh you've got a mix of volunteers and and paid staff, correct?

SPEAKER_00:

We do. We have staff, we we have about 21 staff at the Kidsap Rescue Mission, and and um they are the most amazing, amazing people ever. Um, I have the utmost respect for them, Mike. I mean, they're kind, they're compassionate, and we truly do handpick our staff that come in. You know, you cannot um you cannot learn compassion. It's innate. It's inside of you. You can't learn that. And so every single one of our staff has that compassion and and the the want to help.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, but I would assume it's also kind of a tough job as well. It's not easy to see people like that.

SPEAKER_00:

So, you know, that secondary trauma. We talk about uh and then how's the guests? We call them guests, the homeless that come in, they're guests. And so they have so much trauma. There's so much trauma. It's that trauma-informed model of care is what we focus on. But along with that, the staff gets the secondary trauma. If you can only imagine, or your listeners can imagine, every day hearing about this trauma that these people are going through domestic violence, adverse childhood experiences, substance abuse, and sexual abuse, all of those things. If you can imagine going through a shift, hearing this for eight hours, you get that secondary trauma, and that's very, very difficult to deal with at times.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, because I was I was thinking about that, and I'm like, well, how do you help your staff and volunteers maintain that compassion? I mean, because obviously they have it or they wouldn't be working where they are, right?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

But how do you help them maintain that and avoid burnout when they're working with people in crisis?

SPEAKER_00:

Right. And, you know, we really, really try to focus on education so they kind of know what's happening and they and through that education, they really truly know how to sometimes deal with it themselves. And so, but we focus on hey, do you have self-care? Do you go home? What kind of self-care do you have? Uh do you look forward to go home? Do you go to the gym? Do you spend time with your family? Do you meditate? Do you cut this stuff off? Don't take it home with you.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

So, and PTO, take some time off if you need it. You know, we have coverage. We encourage that. And one thing too, Mike, is that that we really, really encourage during our meetings, during our all-staff meetings, hey, let's talk about this. What's happening? The frustration sometimes is just just out of this world. And it gives them the platform to be able to just, and I call it download a little bit. They're downloading, they're just expressing their opinions and it's and um, you know, go do something. And so we try to really encourage them to have a life outside of all this this trauma that they're hearing every day.

SPEAKER_03:

It can be hard, I would imagine, to to leave that behind when you've seen what you all see every day. Um here's another question I had. What do you wish the general public could see? And I'm using air quotes here because we're gonna have to visualize it or understand when they if they're walking down the street in the city and they they happen to see a homeless person. What do you wish they understood or could see about that person?

SPEAKER_00:

Oh boy. Well, first of all, I think everybody needs to be educated. I I I think the attitude that some people have, and and I'm just gonna throw it out there. Some people say, hey, what a lazy person that guy is. And look at this person just all jacked up on drugs and da-da-da. And they they just have such a negative. And they don't realize here, here, here's the way I look at people because I'm educated, I know exactly what homelessness is all about. I look, I look at an individual who's um who's screaming. We've all seen them on the corner screaming and yelling and um holding signs up, and you can't understand what they're saying, or they're sleeping on the floor. Uh, I look at that and go, oh wow, that person's really feeling it, isn't it? They're feeling it. Number one, um, you know, they're they're they're lacking probably medication, you know, that's why they're doing their their videos and their screening because they're probably there's probably some schizophrenia going on. And they're not seeing a mental health professional, and they're not, they're not seeing their doctors, they're not seeing their families. I mean, they're miserable, totally miserable. And another thing I want to say is that people don't understand that some of them were dealt a really cruddy hand. And if you turn those, turn those tables around, you would probably understand a little bit better. Sometimes it's not their fault. They got just got dealt a really cruddy hand, Mike. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, for sure. Yeah, I I I sometimes, and I talk about this quite often, is how I don't think we realize how how incredibly close each and every one of us is potentially to being in that position.

SPEAKER_00:

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03:

I think about the elderly couple and and one of the spouses dies, and and you know, maybe their maybe their their surviving spouse can't make the house payments.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

And you know, next thing you know, so yeah, it's so talk a little bit about KitSAP because you have a lot of different layers to your organization, right? There's there's a shelter, you've got resources, you've got food. Talk to me a little bit about that.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. So we are a 75-bed um congregate shelter. And first of all, I want to let you know that we're faith-based, our shelters are faith-based, and so probably 100% of our staff believe in Jesus. They're Christians, and so um, so I just want to add that. And so, but 75-bed congregate shelter, and what that means is that they live in an open area, but have different, we call them pods. So we have a family pod, we have a men's pod, we have a um women's pod, we have a couple's pod, females, men. So we have all those pods, but they're in separate areas of the shelter, Mike. And so so um we so on site, so we have wraparound services on site. This is a brand new facility. And to look at it, and you were talking about the community, and community doesn't want people in their area, you would never know, Mike, that this is a shelter. You just would never know. Um, and it's just because we, you know, we keep our privacy, we keep things clean, and you know, so getting back to uh wraparound services, we have two case managers, which help individuals somewhat overcome their barriers. So, say, I mean, you have no idea how many people on the streets don't have an ID. They don't have an ID, they don't have a Social Security card, they don't have a birth certificate. Imagine trying to get resources and a job and an apartment without those documents. It just doesn't happen, does it? It doesn't happen. And so those case managers will help them. They'll help them with their medical needs. On site here, we also have a clinic, a medical clinic that is here. And so they can go to that clinic free of charge. They can go see medical help if they have issues with their legs, or you know, some people have huge skin issues because they've been out in the sun for 30 years. And so it's very we have a housing navigator that at some point they go to the housing navigator, they do they do applications, they have housing applications to get into housing, they get on the list, they get through HUD, they get through Section 8. That that individual helps them. We have a vet center, a veterinary center. So we're co-sheltering, so people can bring their pets in. And so, because again, who wants to leave their their lovely pet out there? People would much rather stay out in the cold than leave their pet.

SPEAKER_03:

And so we had the choice.

SPEAKER_00:

We offer pet services. I can't imagine going into a shelter without my dog, you know, and um, so we assess those dogs. We have agencies that assess the the pets. We have cats, dogs, and miscellaneous, and assess them to make sure that they're a good fit for our shelter. So they come in, so um we have they have crates, all kinds of resources. Um, we also have um a vet center where they can give them a bath, they can wash their bedding. Um, a vet will come in and look at their their pet if need be. And so um in the back, we have pet runs, um, we have um pet runs, we have children's playgrounds, we have a smoking section, they can go out. We also have a chef and his team that prepare three meals a day. And so I think last month we prepared, I think there was like 2,800 meals prepared in a month? In a month. We are we are a low barrier shelter, which means they can still be under the influence when they come in. They just cannot, they have to be a good neighbor. If they're they're under the influence, if they're intoxicated, they come in fine, fine. But if you that intoxication creates a bad neighbor on your part, then you're gonna have to leave.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

And so then um, we're we have 24-7 security. So people come in, they're they're wanted for any weapons or any paraphernalia. And they also have to check in. They have like a badge, they check in so we know who's in shelter at the same time, and they check out. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

You may and I I just keyed in on a word you said if they're wanted. Do you do you look for active warrants on some of the people that come in?

SPEAKER_00:

No, they no, we we do not, but what we do is we do background checks on people.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay.

SPEAKER_00:

You know, so I don't know where that wanted came in, but um, yeah, so but um, I'm just saying that if they come in and have paraphlinalia or whatever, they can't come in, yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Fair enough. Fair enough. Yeah, it's yeah. I I just and there's there's so much I guess I don't know the word I'm looking for. Um I'm gonna move on. So talk to me how about how members of a community can approach people experiencing homelessness with empathy empathy rather than judgment or fear. And I think you talked about that a little bit ago, but Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

So what do you mean, Mike, by approach? Vity Yeah, yeah. I think um I don't think we're gonna change everybody's attitude about about the homeless. You know, there's so many people out there that, you know, just have really bad opinions about people being unhoused. Um but I think I think through social networking, through education, you know, preparably, you know, people can start, you know, I I don't know. It's just there's there's just not a lot that we can change people's minds, but we can educate people on and get rid of all those myths that we talk about, you know, get rid of those. And instead of of judging, you know, let's let's help a little, you know, let's help. I have um staff member of mine has this saying, and I wrote it down because I always mess it up when when when that's being said, but um I'm gonna give her her full credit for this sentence because it's so powerful. And she says, being homeless is like laying your head on a pillow of concrete. That's deep, isn't it? I mean that's like really deep, yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Can you even imagine that?

SPEAKER_00:

And nobody knows I mean, so so that's one approach.

SPEAKER_03:

Sure.

SPEAKER_00:

Can you imagine being in an encampment and laying your head on a ground that's been soaking wet and cold? But that saying was so brilliantly descriptive.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, yeah, it really brings it to life if you think about that for even more than a second.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Wow. Yeah, it's how okay. Here's one for you. How can listeners our lovely guests, the people, the amazing people who chose to tune into this episode, how can they support the homeless population in meaningful, compassionate ways in their own neighborhoods?

SPEAKER_00:

That's so I think in their own neighborhoods, um, there's churches that out that reach out to the homeless, churches that have meals for the homeless. There's there in pretty much everybody's community, there's a salvation army. There's probably homeless. No, go volunteer, volunteer time. And when I say volunteer time, when you do that, you will literally see. I mean, there is no price on kindness that you can give to someone. I mean, and not only does it help them, but it helps the individual themselves by feeling better about themselves, hey, I'm I'm helping, I'm helping this community, I'm helping this person, I'm serving this person food who wouldn't much less not have any.

unknown:

Right.

SPEAKER_00:

You know, so they can volunteer their time, they can volunteer their cash, their money.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

You know, but you can always volunteer, you know, goodwill, that kind of stuff. Um, but you know, if if you contact the shelter, and this is the one advice that I would give people contact the shelter, contact Salvation Army, say, hey, what is it that you need? What can I do to help provide? Do you need, I know in our shelter, we need adult pull-ups. Who would think of that in a shelter? Who needs adult? You know, we need adult pull-ups. Um, you know, we might need um q-tips, we might need hygiene supplies, you know. So those are the items. So for the listeners, all you got to do is pick up the phone and call and say, hey, I'm willing to help. Is there something I can do to help you? Do you need this? You know, can I donate, you know, five bucks a month? So those are the things that that really make a difference in your community.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, for sure. It's funny because there there have been at least a couple people that I've had on the show who just by themselves, and they got others involved along the way, but by themselves had the idea, one guy, and actually he's up in in your neighborhood, I think. His name is I can remember how to say it now, two coyote helianthos, I think. Oh anyway, he he quit smoking and he's like, I gotta, I gotta do something with this money, right? Or else it's like so he took the savings and he went to Costco and he picked up like five, six cases of water, because you can do that at Costco for the price of a carton of cigarettes, right?

SPEAKER_00:

Right, right.

SPEAKER_03:

And he just went out and distributed to the homeless in his neighborhood. I was like, that's genius.

SPEAKER_00:

Perfect. Perfect.

SPEAKER_03:

And I mean, when you go to a when you go to a vending machine, you buy a bottle of water, it's gonna be what, buck fifty, buck seventy-five? And you can get so many more anyway. That was one. And then uh another gal in my in my area um decided to and she does these scarf bombing, she calls them scarf bombing events, but she'll go to a park in Minneapolis, uh and it's one that's frequented quite often by by the unhoused, and she'll just leave out scarfs and gloves and hats during the winter. And she'll just leave them out, and she puts a tag on them so they know that they're for for the homeless.

SPEAKER_00:

Right, right.

SPEAKER_03:

And I mean, and that was original. Now now she takes like buses full of people on these parts.

SPEAKER_00:

Amazing, amazing.

SPEAKER_03:

That's the kind of thing I think you know, and and your ideas were amazing as well. But when I think about helping out in your own community, uh and it doesn't, it doesn't the bare minimum to just recognize and not turn up your nose, not roll your eyes when you walk by, not say something disgusting, right?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think so. No, yeah, those are really great. I had a gal, uh friend of mine that would get bananas, and she would have a whole car full of bananas and just drive around to whoever was on the side of the road and just start hanging up bananas. It's like, okay, there you go. Great. Think of calcium, yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Perfect. Huh. Never thought of that either. Because yeah, I I mean, it's the perfect food, right? Because it has it, it comes with its own packaging.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

There's no litter generated from well, okay, there might be, but it's not like a plastic wrapper. Okay, so I saved the hardest question for last. What is the most important lesson you've learned about humanity through your work at KitSap Rescue Mission? The most important because I think when you do that kind of work, you might tend to lose faith in humanity.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, I think the most important lesson is you really find out who you are, you are personally as a person. I know for me, it's like, okay, I I I can see now that my compassion sometimes is not always where I want it to be. But now I can look at this and say, You gotta turn things around a little bit, you know, you've got to be a little bit more compassionate. And and and to be compassionate like that really makes a difference in someone else's life. I mean, it truly does. It it it just it makes so much difference. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

And it's a positive difference. Yeah. I mean, yeah. When you have you ever had anybody, any of your guests thank you for all the time?

SPEAKER_00:

Yes. In fact, we were at the the dining hall and we had a gal come up and she goes, I just want to say thank you to all you people. You you guys are so good to us, you have helped me so much. And we get that a lot, Mike. We get that a lot. The guests will come up and say, Thank you so much. Thank you, thank you, thank you. And it's like, heck yeah, you are so welcome and so deserving, you know, absolutely, absolutely.

SPEAKER_03:

And I think that's the thing too, right? It doesn't hurt to remind them that they are worthy of love and compassion and respect and dignity and all those things that it takes to m to make you human, right?

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, absolutely, absolutely, yep.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. Wow. Helen, thank you so much for coming on today. I really appreciate this conversation. Um, I appreciate the the that you reached out.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Full disclosure, Helen and I grew up next to each other.

SPEAKER_01:

And and his real name is Michael Scott. So so anytime you want to call him Michael Scott, Michael Scott Walker.

SPEAKER_03:

Just go ahead. That was only because your dad's name was Mike and your brother's name was Mike. They had to differentiate us somehow.

SPEAKER_01:

Michael Scott, where are you?

SPEAKER_03:

In a two-house area, you had three mics. Big Mike, Mikey, and Michael Scott.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Thank you. I really appreciate the fact that you reached out and the opportunity to really put a human face on this. Yeah, on this.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, you're welcome. Thank you, Mike. Scott.

SPEAKER_03:

All right. Take care and we'll talk soon, Helen.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, thank you.

SPEAKER_03:

Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the Kindness Matters Podcast with my guest, Helen Gachera from the KitSap Rescue Mission. I hope this episode left you feeling a little easier, a little more hopeful about the state of the world that we all share. And if you enjoyed this episode, please, please, please feel free to tell your friends, family, and co-workers about us. Also, don't forget to subscribe to our newsletter. For more uplifting content every single month, it's free, and there's a link in the show notes. You have been listening to the Kindness Matters podcast. We will be back again next week with a brand new episode. And we would be honored if you would join us again. But until then, remember Kindness Matters, and so do you know?