The Kindness Matters Podcast
So. Much. Division. Let's talk about how to change that. Re-engage as neighbors, friends, co-workers and family. Let's set out to change the world. Strike that. Change A World. One person at a time, make someone's life a little better and then do it again tomorrow and the day after that, through kindness.
Kindness is a Super-Power that each of us has within us. It is so powerful it has the potential to change not only your life but those around you, too. Let's talk about kindness.
The Kindness Matters Podcast
Earth Angels Among Us
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What happens when strangers appear at our lowest moments, offering help with no expectation of anything in return? Kate Torode, author of "Chicken Nugget Girl and Other Midlife Traumas," joins us to share her extraordinary encounters with what she calls "Earth Angels" – mysterious helpers who materialized precisely when she needed them most.
Kate's journey begins with the story behind her quirky, heartfelt book about a character named Mallory who feels stuck in life – a feeling many of us can relate to. "I still have this dream, and I'm going to follow it," Kate explains about her decision to become an author later in life. "Whether it stays a dream or turns into a nightmare, I don't really care." Her philosophy echoes advice she once received: "You'll never regret what you do. You'll regret what you don't do."
Beyond her writing, Kate reveals her surprising passion for circus arts, including trapeze work and juggling, which provides not just physical exercise but connection to a unique community. This leads us to powerful discussions about finding kindness in unexpected places during difficult times. Kate shares two unforgettable stories – one about a shuttle driver named Bob who helped her when she was stranded as a teenager, and another about a mysterious 1950s "greaser" who appeared with "Johnny Angel" playing on his car radio to help fix her broken-down vehicle, only to vanish without a trace.
These remarkable encounters remind us that kindness exists all around us, often appearing when we least expect it. As Kate puts it, true Earth Angels are those who help "just because they can and for the sake of kindness." Her stories offer hope and inspiration in a world that sometimes feels increasingly divided.
Whether you're seeking motivation to pursue a long-held dream or simply need reassurance that goodness still exists in the world, this episode will leave you feeling uplifted and ready to notice – or perhaps become – an Earth Angel in someone else's story. Subscribe to our newsletter for more uplifting content, and remember: kindness matters, and so do you.
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Introduction to Kindness Matters
Speaker 1Hello everyone and welcome to the Kindness Matters podcast. I'm your host, mike Rathbun. On this podcast, we promote positivity, empathy and compassion because we believe that kindness is alive and well, and there are people and organizations that you may not have heard of in the world, making their communities a better place for everyone, and we want you to hear their stories. On this podcast, we talk about matters of kindness because kindness matters. Hey, welcome to the show everybody. I so appreciate it. You are listening to the Kindness Matters podcast and I am your host, mike Rathbun. I appreciate you. I appreciate those of you who joined today. You chose you made that active choice to listen into a podcast about kindness and you wanted to be inspired and I appreciate all of that that you're doing. Thank you so much for doing that. Make sure to check out the show notes for all of my guests' links after we're done here and also for the link to sign up for our newsletter. It comes out once a month full of inspiring and uplifting stories, and who doesn't need that in their email box once a month, right?
Meet Kate Turode, Author
Speaker 1So today on the show, we're joined by Kate Turode, who is the author of Chicken Nugget Girl and Other Midlife Traumas Such an amazing title for a book that is so cool. Kate is a proud fur mom and wife and she's living her best life while balancing her artistic side with her spreadsheet side. When she's not creating worlds on the page, she's painting, juggling, trapezing we'll get into that, I'm sure and laughing with her husband. Her charm and wit are just what the doctor ordered for this episode, as we share our connection through kindness. Oh, by the way, chicken Nugget Girl is her first book, but, true to form, she's already working on the sequel, whether anyone asked her to or not. Welcome to the show, kate. Thank you so much for being here.
Speaker 2Mike, thank you so much for having me. It's an absolute pleasure to be on your show today. Thank you.
Speaker 1Just when you reached out on Facebook to be a guest and I went to your profile and of course I'm stalking, right, because that's what we do, we stalk and I saw the book and the title of the book and I'm like that is the quirkiest thing I have ever heard of. So talk to me about. So the main character is Mallory, correct?
Speaker 2Correct. Yes, Mallory is the main character.
Speaker 1Okay, percentage-wise, how much of Mallory is Kate?
Speaker 2In the Chicken Nugget origin story, which is the first portion of the book. It's about 65% kind of based on my journey, how I wrote the book, and then there's subsequent stories after that that. Some of them are 85, 90% none of them are 100%.
Speaker 2But yeah, there are some of the books later, some of the chapters later on in the book that are pretty much as it happened. So not a lot of embellishment needed to happen, Not a lot of creative license needed to happen. It was just telling the story exactly how it happened. So not a lot of embellishment needed to happen, not a lot of creative license needed to happen. It was just telling the story exactly how it was.
Speaker 1Yeah, because Kate kind of feels or Kate, there we go, mallory in the book. She kind of feels like she's stuck right In her job in her life. Did you feel that way when you started writing this? Or could you just empathize with that person that Mallory was? I don't want to get you in trouble.
Speaker 2No, I am still working, but everybody knows about the book. No, I think it's kind of a universal thing, especially as we get older. You know these dreams when we're younger and then adult life kind of settles in. You have a mortgage, you have a car payment, whether it's children or not, and you kind of have to set your dreams aside a little bit and you just kind of accept that's your life. And at some point I said you know what? I still have this dream and I'm going to follow this dream. Whether it stays a dream or turns into a nightmare, I don't really care.
Speaker 1Yeah, but you get it, go ahead.
Speaker 2Yeah, no, I mean, it's just. It was like I just took that leap of faith. I said you know what I'm going to do this for myself, and if it succeeds, then fantastic. If not, I can say that I did it and you know, I can check that off my list.
Speaker 1Yeah, because that's the thing, right. I mean, you could sit and wonder your whole life if you could ever have done that, or you could actually try it, like you said. You know, if it failed, it failed, but you at least gave it your all.
Speaker 2Yeah, I had a very wise person once tell me you'll never regret what you do. You'll regret what you don't do.
Speaker 1And so true.
Speaker 2That always sticks with me, and so I was like you know what? This is one of my dreams. I've done a lot of things in my life, but this is the one that I really wanted to just check that box off of. So, yeah, that's why I did it.
Speaker 1Oh for sure, and it turned out wonderfully. You're getting a lot of praise for this book and it's available on Amazon, among other places, right?
Speaker 2Yes, it is All the major platforms Barnes and Noble, all of that. So yes, wow.
Circus Arts and Adventures
Speaker 1Yeah, we'll have the. Well, we could put all the links really in the show notes. I mean That'd be amazing. We could do that. We'll make that happen, but yeah, okay, now we mentioned trapezing. Yes, so in your bio on your webpage, your website, you talk about what? Did you call yourself A professional? Was it a professional trapezer?
Speaker 2No, no, I'm a self-proclaimed master puppeteer.
Speaker 1Oh, that's where it is, there it is.
Speaker 2Oh, my goodness.
Speaker 1And a juggler.
Speaker 2And a juggler and a trapeze. I like all the circus arts.
Speaker 1Funny. So how did you end up there? And so I'm guessing you don't have like a barn or something where you trapeze in the barn.
Speaker 2No, no. So there's a place I live in St Louis, missouri, and there's a trapeze and silk place here that I wish everybody knew about. It's called Bumble Shot Aerials and you can go and they will teach you the techniques of trapeze, which you think it's easy. It's not Just the rules that are around it are so rigid, just you know just how to get up on. The bar itself is a structure.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 2But I got lucky Like my fourth or fifth lesson there, St Louis Magazine happened to show up and my best friend Helen and I got featured in St Louis Magazine for trapeze.
Speaker 1Nice, nice.
Speaker 2So that kind of was the catalyst for us to continue wanting to do it, and we've had breaks that we've taken in between just because life gets in the way. But yeah, it's a really fun community that's so cool.
Speaker 1And the people who go there are these just like frustrated circus performers that you know? I want to chase my dream of being a trapeze artist or a juggler or a clown or what have you, and, but this is the next best thing.
Speaker 2Yeah, I think. I think there's some that are living that. You know circus dream. You know now that circuses aren't a thing, but a lot of people. It's a great workout and it's physically demanding.
Speaker 1That's what. I was going to ask Is it mostly upper body strength or is it like whole body? It's core.
Speaker 2It's your core, because everything you know you're lifting yourself up, you're doing all these moves and you have to have that core strength in there. So obviously, you know having arm strength helps, but yeah, a lot of it's core work. Obviously, you know having arm strength helps, but yeah, a lot of it's core work. So when people start doing it, I think they're a little shocked, you know, and realize oh, I'm not as in shape as I thought I was.
Speaker 1I say that every single day.
Speaker 2So yeah, it's just a really fun kind of thing to do and, you know, if people have that ability to do it somewhere in their community, I it I don't, you know what.
Speaker 1I don't even think there's a place like that around minneapolis, that just in the twin cities metro, I may surprise myself there may you know might be surprised I could go on afterwards and google trapeze, work minneapolis and find you might.
Speaker 2I started doing when I lived in rhode island. I went up to boston to like the circus arts there, and so well, so you were really serious about the circus arts I well, I mean I wasn't gonna, like you know, run away and join the circus.
Speaker 2I'm a little old for that make a better story if you have but yeah, I mean, I always wanted to learn like tight wire and things like that. So there there's a place. I don't know if it's still there. It's been many years since I lived in new england, but you could learn all those circus arts, trapeze and clowning and so cool. It was just really fun yeah it's just kind of a different thing to do, and if you're not into exercise traditional exercise it's kind of a really good way to do it, Wow.
Speaker 1Yeah, so do you. Speaking of Rhode Island, are you familiar with Block Island?
Speaker 2I'm very familiar with Block Island.
Speaker 1I have an ancestral history to that place.
Speaker 2Oh no, that's amazing.
Speaker 1I have never been. One of my great, great, great great grandfathers was john rathbun, and he was one of the 16 original purchasers.
Speaker 2There we go.
Speaker 1I'm in the presence of greatness hardly, but okay, we'll go with it, we'll take that, we'll go with it um wow yeah, so I've never been. My wife was going to take me for my 60th birthday, and then COVID Right, and I still haven't been.
Speaker 2So but yeah, block Island is beautiful and Point Judith is where you take the ferry from.
Speaker 1That's where you take the ferry.
Speaker 2Oh, that is one of my favorite places in Rhode Island. I live in Cranston, which is by Providence and yeah, so I recommend go. You will not be disappointed, for sure.
Speaker 1It'll be on the bucket list.
Speaker 2There you go.
Speaker 1Right up there with trapezing, oh so. And since this is a wait, okay, wait. Oh so, and since this is a wait, okay, wait. I've thought of something else I want to ask. You mentioned, okay, um, the. The origin story of mallory was 65 you, but other stories. Is that what we can look forward to in sequel books?
Speaker 2Yes, yes, I'm about 75% done with my second book and they're easily digestible stories, so they're probably, you know, chapter chapter. Okay, chicken, duck and Girl has the origin story as the beginning of the book. Um, these are just going to be like an anthology of mallory's stories and I'm sorry, go ahead now I'm gonna say and they get more ridiculous, because my life is ridiculous, no, way, I noticed that you mentioned, uh, your friend helen.
Speaker 1there's also a friend of Mallory's in the book named Helen, is that?
Speaker 2That, yes, so Helen is based on my Helen, but the Helen in my book is how I see my best friend. She's got a very professional, high profile job and she's got a very professional, high-profile job and she's very prevents very straight-laced, yeah, but I've been friends with her for 17 years and I know that she's that punk rock girl. You know she'll wear the leather jacket when she's around me and things like that. So she's got a tattoo.
Speaker 1Was your Helen happy with her portrayal in the book?
Speaker 2She was ecstatic, she, she asked me about it and she's like why did you write me like this? I'm like, cause that's exactly how I see you, Helen, You're. You're kind of the bad-ass best friend who keeps me in line, and because I'm kind of weird, crazy and flaky and she's the you know, the anchor for me.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 2So that's how I wrote her, and she was very happy with it.
Speaker 1Cool, cool. That's so fun. Okay, so let's talk now about Segway.
Speaker 2Yes.
Speaker 1About kindness, because it's been a rough couple of months, hasn't it for kindness?
The State of Kindness Today
Speaker 2Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1And I'm not even sure where to go with this because, as somebody who talks a lot about to go with this, because as somebody who talks a lot about kindness, I see the world today, I see our country today. I'm like I can't believe anybody's even listening to this show. First of all because it doesn't seem like anybody's interested in kindness. Does that make sense at all?
Speaker 2It does. It's hard to find those kind moments or those good news stories that lift you up, and a lot of it is just really negative. So when you find something that's heartwarming and touches your soul, that's what really gets you.
Speaker 1Yeah, and I think the whole premise of this show was I know you're hearing a lot of bad stuff in social media and the news, but look, here are kind people and they're out there every day. Absolutely, here are kind people and they're out there every day and I don't even know. I mean, I'm still finding people like yourself, kind people, but I'm questioning whether people want to see that. I think I'm probably wrong, judging from my numbers.
Speaker 2I think a lot of people need more kindness and I think they're seeking it out because we kind of have that dark you know that hole in our hearts lately. You know there's so much negativity and we I think the majority of us are good people and we share that.
Speaker 1I agree with you I think that the vast majority of us don't care who somebody voted for, don't care what color your skin is, who you worship or who you love. They're just going to be kind.
Speaker 2Yeah, yeah, and I think that kind of gets lost it does we're getting asked to choose sides or to choose our factions, and it's you know what? I'm a Gen Xer. We grew up hey, everybody's equal, nobody's any better than anybody else. And to have this like we have to choose. No, you don't. You can just choose to be kind.
Speaker 1That's the best thing you can do yeah, for sure, gen x talk about badass it's funny. What's that?
Speaker 2I said, we don't take anything from anybody.
Speaker 1No, you don't take crap from anybody. I was talking to a woman months ago, last year, and she worked with all of the generations. Basically it was a talk about work and she was talking about how the silent generation and like whoa time out, the silent generation is still working, because my mom was silent generation, right, and I'm a boomer, so I'm like silent generation is still working. And apparently they are. But the silent generation has things in common with Gen Z. What?
Speaker 2Really.
Speaker 1Because silent generation grew up during the Depression right. You didn't throw anything away. If something broke, you fixed it to use it again. If something broke, you fixed it to use it again. And Gen Z is totally into the thrift stores, the upcycled clothing and this. I think there are ways that we could come together that we have not even fathomed yet.
Speaker 2That's amazing. I didn't think about that.
Speaker 1Right, wow, yeah, I, I was just. I was blown away. First of all, the silent Jerry and silent generation is, I think, um 28 to 29, 29 to 46 yeah and my mom was born at 31. So I mean like, like, so I'm like no, they need to keep working.
Speaker 2Yeah, they're in their 80s.
Speaker 1And yeah, so yeah, I think it's just easier sometimes to be angry all the time than it is to be kind, and that boggles my mind.
Speaker 2That's got to be so exhausting.
Speaker 1It must be. You would think it would be. I mean, because all it would take would be for you to take your grumbly old butt and open the door for somebody, yeah, or say good morning, or you know, whatever the case may be, just the smallest act of kindness can make somebody's day. And I think, if more people were kind we wouldn't be so angry all the time, Because you can't be angry when you're being kind, right, no?
Speaker 2not at all.
Earth Angels: Bob's Story
Speaker 1Yeah, so, and I know that you had talked about and I actually this was another reason you said when I asked for guests, you said I have an absolutely touching story reinforcing the human spirit and kindness towards others. I like to call them earth angels and I need to hear about these people for my own sanity.
Speaker 2Yes, need to hear about these people for my own sanity. Yes, so I actually have two earth angel stories, but the one that I was I had in my head when I first contacted you happened to me when I was 17. And I was flying back from visiting my boyfriend in Iowa City and I was taking a connector flight from St Louis, missouri, to Cape Girardeau, which is where I went to college, and this was 1993. My parents didn't know I went, so you know this is all very secretive. I was, but I was 17. And I had no money, there was no cell phones, there was nothing and I had missed my connecting flight. So it's about two hours from St Louis to where my college was.
Speaker 2It was about nine o'clock at night night and I'm sitting in the baggage claim alone. I'd been to St Louis one time, you know, crying, didn't know what I was going to do, and this gentleman comes up to me and he asked me if I was okay and I said I am absolutely not okay. And he's like is there something I can do for you? I was like well, are you going to Cape Girardeau? And he's like, as a matter of fact, I am. So it turns out he was a shuttle driver for students going from St Louis to Cape Girardeau, missouri, and he had an extra seat and it was, you know, usually it was 80 bucks to take this trip, which back in 1993, that was a lot of money.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 2I didn't have a quarter to call my roommate, you know, kate is referencing a time when there were things called cell phones, right.
Speaker 2Pay phones If you're unfamiliar, yes. So he told me that he was a BART driver and I said I don't have the money to have you take me home. And he's like listen, I have an open seat. He's like you can come, you can sit up front with me. He's like you're fine. He's like there's going to be other students in the van with us. So you know, my dad, who's a police officer, said never get in a car with strangers.
Speaker 1He didn't say anything about a bus.
Speaker 2He didn't say anything about a van. He wasn't offering me candy, so I thought I was okay, yeah for sure.
Speaker 2So we're walking through the terminal and he's just like have you eaten today? He's like, can I get you something? So he, you know, bought me dinner like you know, go to go McDonald's and a root beer and some snacks for the road. And he just put me in the front seat and he's just like Hi, this is Kate, she's gonna be driving with us. And he had a blanket that he put around me in the front seat and he's like're going to take care of you and we're going to get you home. And I was, I was in awe because I was like this, this gentleman doesn't know who I am. I have no money. He's just doing this because he can.
Speaker 2And we dropped the other um riders off at their, their dorms and such like that. My dorm was the last dorm to be dropped off with. And he, he gave me a quarter as I was getting out of his van. He's like always keep this quarter with you so you can always make a call for somebody. Just tell, retell. The story makes me want to cry. But his name was bob and I never saw him again. Um, I asked a lot of my students who took bart and they're like we, we don't know who bob is but there were other students in the van with us.
Speaker 2Yeah, we dropped them off and so, yeah, so I still have that quarter to this day if somebody listening knows a bob who drove the shuttle bus from rose airport to cape girardeau reach out because we absolutely have to know. Was he older?
Speaker 1Is he maybe?
Speaker 2still alive. He was probably in his 50s.
Speaker 1That was like over 30 years ago, right.
Speaker 2Yeah, it was 30 plus years ago, no wait 93.
Speaker 1That was just 10 years ago.
Speaker 2Oh God, I wish that was the sake. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1So how cool. And you know what he could have very easily just have seen you Typical, you know, typical moody kid. I don't know if emo was a thing back then.
Speaker 2I was very grungy the Doug Martens, the plaid skirt, the purple hair.
Speaker 1I was rocking it, yeah, yeah and he just looked at you and went yeah, typical moody kid and just walked on by, but he took the time to stop and ask if you were okay.
Speaker 2Yeah, I mean, just it was. It was I. I can't even explain it. It was one of the most kind things I've ever had happen to me, because he didn't want anything, he didn't ask for anything. He was doing it just because he could and for the sake of kindness and to help somebody out who needed it.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 2To me, that's what an earth angel is.
Speaker 1You know what I agree? I totally agree. That's absolutely the best definition of earth angel that I've ever heard.
Speaker 2Yeah, wow. I always keep a little bit of Bob in my heart and I keep that quarter in my wallet for all these years, just in case I get a call. It's Bob's quarter. Never spend it.
Speaker 1Never, and you know what. Yeah, you could maybe pass that on to somebody in your family or whatever. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2That's cool, yeah, so that's's cool, yeah, so that's that's my, my big story yeah. Hopefully Bob's out there somewhere.
Speaker 1Oh, wow, and you mentioned when we were talking offline. You said something about. You're not even sure if one of the people that you were thinking of was. Is that the person you think may or may not have been real?
Johnny Angel: Mysterious Helper
Speaker 2no, there there's another story wait, there's more there is. There's another story which is famous amongst me and my friends in my circle and I still don't know to this day if this person was real or an angel. And it wasn't Bob. It's not the Bob story, okay.
Speaker 1I'm down, do you want?
Speaker 2to hear it, I'll go for it.
Speaker 1Yes, absolutely.
Speaker 2So my late husband and I we were driving home from dinner and something happened in the road road and he ended up putting the car up on the center median and kind of cracked the axle in my car. I was very unhappy. So we were about two blocks from my house and we managed to get the car into a Walgreens parking lot. And I'm yelling and screaming and I'm trying to change the tire and he wasn't able to because he had an illness. I'm just frustrated. Yeah, it's late, it's like 1130 at night. There's really nobody on the road. I'm just like we're just going to have to leave my car here and walk home. I swear to gosh. All of a sudden we hear johnny angel, how I love you.
Speaker 2And this turquoise and white 1950s chevy-esque pulls into the Walgreens parking lot and this guy gets out. Looks like your quintessential greaser. He had his jeans rolled up, he had the white socks, the black shoes and I thought he was coming from like a car show or something is what I thought. Like that's really what I thought. And he's just like ma'am, do you need some help? And I'm like we do. And he's like I'm going to go ahead and change your tire, but it looks like your axle is cracked. He's like I hope you aren't too far. And I'm like, well, no, we just live two blocks away. He's like all right, what I'm'm gonna do is we're gonna change your tire and then I'm gonna follow you home, make sure you get home, and then you go ahead and call a shop, and so he's changing the tire and I elbowing my husband.
Speaker 1I'm like you.
Speaker 2Better give him some money yeah, and he goes up to this, this young man, and he's just like, hey, you know, I want to thank you. He's like no, sir. He's like I cannot accept any money for this. He's like this is just something we do. And he gave us the name to a shop and I was like, okay, so he follows us home, we get in our driveway and he waves at at us and he goes on his merry way. Well, we tried to call the shop the next day. That shop hadn't been there for like 60 years. I know I know Both my husband and I were looking at each other like what just happened? I was like, because we both saw him, we both shook his hand, we heard the music, we touched his car, he changed my tire. I was like, did we just, was that an angel? So we we call it the Johnny Angel story, whoa, because he came rolling. I was like, did we just, was that an angel? So we call it the Johnny Angel story, whoa, because he came rolling in. Johnny Angel.
Speaker 1That's so funny. The only thing that would have been if it had been the song Earth Angel Right, yeah, that might have been a little too on the nose, right.
Speaker 2Right, a little too obvious, yeah, but that was so cool. That was about 10, 12 years ago and I still, but every time I drive by that intersection, I'm just you know, there's no way we would have made home it's always when you least expect, it least expected isn't it.
Speaker 1I know I was. I was visiting my mom in Colorado years ago and we're driving her car and there's a. There's a road in Denver I can't think of the name of it now very busy road, very main artery, and all of a sudden her car just dies. Right and I managed to get it into the left turn lane of this very busy road, this very busy street, but it would not, I could not get it to start again. People and of course you got a green arrow right and people are roaring up on your back end.
Speaker 1You're just like you're gonna get creamed and my flashers run and all this stuff and I my mom's no help. So I managed to push it off of the road. Finally, and I'm just sitting there trying to figure out I am not mechanically inclined I don't think anybody who knows me will tell you this. But all of a sudden this pickup kind of slowly passes us and then pulls over and he goes do you need help? Told us back home, and it was not a short distance. Told us back home. We tried to give him money. He's like can't accept that Like these are amazing people in this world that just appear when you most need them, isn't it? Absolutely Do you think.
Speaker 2Yeah, absolutely. I mean. Those are the definitions of earth, angels.
Speaker 1Amen, it was so nice having you on today, kate. I cannot wait, kate, for your next book. I wish you so much luck and thank you so much for sharing these stories. I know I'm uplifted, I'm inspired to hashtag be the change and thank you for that.
Speaker 2Oh well, thank you. It was an absolute pleasure being on here and be able to talk to you and share these stories, because I think we need more of that.
Speaker 1Yeah, it's absolutely worth it. All right, I will talk to you soon and take care.
Closing Thoughts
Speaker 2Have a great one, thank you.
Speaker 1Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the Kindness Matters podcast with my very special guest, kate Turode. I hope this episode left you feeling a little lazier, a little more hopeful about the state of the world that we all share. If you enjoyed this episode, please feel free to tell your friends, your family, your co-workers, everybody you know about us. Also, don't forget to subscribe to our newsletter for more uplifting content. It's free and there's a link to sign up in the show notes. You've been listening to the Kindness Matters podcast. We will be back again next week with a brand new episode, and we would be honored if you would join us again. Until then, remember kindness matters, and so do you.
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