The Kindness Matters Podcast
So. Much. Division. Let's talk about how to change that. Re-engage as neighbors, friends, co-workers and family. Let's set out to change the world. Strike that. Change A World. One person at a time, make someone's life a little better and then do it again tomorrow and the day after that, through kindness.
Kindness is a Super-Power that each of us has within us. It is so powerful it has the potential to change not only your life but those around you, too. Let's talk about kindness.
The Kindness Matters Podcast
You Can't Trip Over What's Behind You
What if a simple collection of sayings could transform your relationship with anxiety and confidence? Bret Davis, bestselling author of Bretisms: Adopted, Borrowed, and Modified Philosophies For a Life With Less Anxiety and More Confidence joins us to share how everyday philosophies can create profound shifts in how we experience life.
Bret's journey from door-to-door salesman to medical executive demonstrates the power of these principles in action. What began as casual life lessons for his sons evolved into a board at home where his family documented his most impactful sayings. These weren't just clever phrases but practical philosophies that reduced stress and built confidence. As Bret's career advanced into leadership roles, he realized these sayings weren't just valuable for his children – they were helping adults navigate professional challenges and personal struggles.
We explore several standout Bretisms during our conversation, including "You can't trip over what's behind you" – a powerful reminder to stop dwelling on past mistakes or hurts. Bret emphasizes that while we might need to apologize for past actions, we must also learn to forgive ourselves and others to move forward effectively. This philosophy has proven especially meaningful for those in addiction recovery.
Another profound concept Bret shares is "Hold yourself to at least the same level of accountability to which you hold others." He points out our tendency to judge ourselves by our intentions while judging others by their actions – a disparity that creates unnecessary conflict. By reversing this pattern, we develop greater empathy and forgiveness toward others.
Bret's morning routine exemplifies these philosophies in action, culminating in a simple yet powerful request: "Put me in a position to make somebody else's day special." This intentionality transforms ordinary interactions into opportunities for meaningful connection and service to others. As Bret reminds us, "This isn't a dress rehearsal" – we have one life to make special, both for ourselves and everyone we meet.
Want to bring these transformative philosophies to your community? Bret generously offers free copies of his book to those working with youth organizations, group homes, or educational settings who might benefit but lack budget. Connect with him through the website linked in our show notes.
This podcast is a proud member of the Mayday Media Network. If you have an idea for a podcast and need some production assistance or have a podcast and are looking for a supportive network to join, check out maydaymedianetwork.com.
Like what you hear on the podcast? Follow our social media for more uplifting, inspirational and feel-good content.
Well, hello there and welcome. You are listening to the Kindness Matters podcast and I am your host, mike Rathbun. What is this podcast all about? It's about kindness. It's a pushback against everything negative that we see in the news and on social media today, and it's a way to highlight people, organizations that are simply striving to make their little corner of the world a little better place. If you want to join in on the conversation, feel free, Go ahead and follow us on all of your social media feeds. We're on Facebook, instagram, tiktok. We're even on LinkedIn under Mike Rathbun. Check us out. We're even on LinkedIn under Mike Rathbun. Check us out and, in the meantime, so sit back, relax, enjoy and we'll get into the Kindness Matters podcast.
Speaker 1:Hey, hello everybody. Welcome to the show. I am your host, mike Rathbun. Thank you so much for having me in your ears for 30 minutes or so. You made that choice and I genuinely, genuinely appreciate it and thank you all for that. I have a fantastic show for you today. Just a quick reminder if you hear anything in this show that is uplifting to you or inspirational or motivational, it's probably all the fault of my guest, brett Davis, but go ahead and share it anyway. Let your friends know, let your family know that you listen to the Kindness Matters podcast and it makes you happy. So, and since I mentioned my guest, my guest today is in fact Brett Davis, and you might be asking yourself well, who's Brett Davis? Well, I'll tell you.
Speaker 1:Brett Davis is a best-selling author whose journey through life has been marked by resilience, growth and an unwavering commitment to personal and professional development. With the steadfast support of his wife Kelly and an unwavering commitment to personal and professional development, with the steadfast support of his wife Kelly and their two sons, brent has achieved remarkable success. Starting as a door-to-door salesman, he ascended to executive-level positions in the medical field, demonstrating his exceptional ability to connect with others and lead with integrity. And Brent's extensive experience in sales and his keen insight into human behavior have inspired him to compile a collection of sayings and life lessons in his book Brentisms Adopted, borrowed and Modified Philosophies for a life with less anxiety and more confidence. These philosophies, whether original or adapted, have been instrumental in reducing stress and building confidence in Brett's life and the lives of those around them. I'm sure they're going to be instrumental in reducing your stress as well today. So welcome to the show, Brett. Thank you so much for taking the time.
Speaker 2:Thanks, mike, and thanks for that great introduction. It's a pleasure and an honor to be a guest on your show. As a fan of your show, it really is. It's pretty cool to be a guest, so thank you for having me.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's very nice of you to say Nice. That's a great way to start the show. I love that. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. So now these sayings and life lessons. And I do this too, and I'm like you know. I love quotes, motivational quotes, you know, whether it's Dwyer or whomever, and I oftentimes I'll save them, I'll see a meme or I'll save it with the quote on it. But this is kind of handy, because you just gathered these all up. Did you modify some of them for your own purposes?
Speaker 2:Yeah, 100%. Did you modify some of them for your own purposes? Or yeah, 100. I mean, you know, as it kind of says, you know some some are kind of you know ones that I heard verbatim. Some are just kind of sayings or philosophies that that over the years I've come up with myself to help myself deal with different emotions or different situations that I was in. Um, and some you know I've kind of heard through the years and thought you know I like it but I don't love it. For me, what would it look like if I tweaked it this way or that way to have kind of a more profound daily impact on not only how the world sees me but how I see the world and how I treat others and others treat me? So yeah, I mean the answer to that question, mike, is yes to all. Okay.
Speaker 1:All right, because and you've okay. So first of all, I'm getting way ahead of myself here you initially wrote this as a book for your kids, is that correct?
Speaker 2:That's correct. When my two sons, blake and Connor, were born, there were sayings, as they kind of got older, that I would repeat to them you know, that which we tolerate, we allow to repeat, right. You know, that which we tolerate, we allow to repeat, right. If they or you know people will treat you how you allow them to, as they were kind of growing up, and they would come home and be frustrated with you. Know, little Johnny on the bus shoved me. Well, you're going to shove you again if you continue to tolerate it type lessons. And it kind of came out, mike, my wife and kids had kind of started, you know, teasing me a little bit about all these sayings, but by the same point they knew they were impactful and there were some that they liked and they started a board and they wrote breadisms on it right, that's where the title of the book came from and they were breadisms, heredisms. And I started writing the book when they were very young, just to kind of. You know, these are the core ones that I think will serve them throughout their lives.
Speaker 2:And then, as my life journey continued and I became more of a leader in a business sense, in a professional sense, along with a youth athletic coach across many different sports, I started seeing how these sayings and some of these philosophies were not only helping a lot of the young adults that I was impacting, but some of the older adults that I was interacting with on a business that either struggled with, you know, maybe somebody that I was working with, you know had had anxiety over having to give a presentation, or had anxiety going into an annual review. Even though they were doing a great job and they were rock stars, they were still, you know, anxious over having to go, you know, sit in front of the leadership and talk about what they've accomplished that year. So, you know, it started dawning on me that you know, I'm in a unique position, having leaned on these, to overcome my own anxiousness and my own anxiety over the years, to be able to build a true inner core of confidence that has served me very, very well. You know, I'm a big believer in protect your confidence at all costs. Of all the things that we have, the number one thing we should always protect is our own personal confidence in ourselves, right? So when that came to me, that's when I said you know what, I'm going to get serious about this and I'm going to finish this book and publish it, and the intention of it was just that, and I thought you know if I can help a dozen, 20 people with this book outside of my normal sphere of influence.
Speaker 2:The years it took me to write it and put it together would be worth it. And when it hit number one on Amazon on the bestseller list, on both the paperback and Kindle version, that was a humbling day for sure and I thought wow, there's, you know, it's out there now and hopefully it has the impact that was intended.
Speaker 1:It just goes to show that a book like that can do real well, and maybe there were more than a dozen or 20 people that needed to hear that and they found you?
Speaker 2:Yeah, for sure, and that's been really the cool part. And even hearing from readers, because I put my email on the back of the book, which everybody told me not to do. But I want to hear from people and I want to hear the good, the bad and the ugly and I tell to hear from people and I want to hear the good, the bad and the ugly and I tell everybody it's an imperfect book written by an imperfect author, and I love to hear kind of the feedback and the things that people got out of it or didn't after reading it. That's kind of my joy.
Speaker 1:Yeah for sure of kind of my joy, yeah for sure, um, yeah, and it's just, it's so cool because, like I say, I there were so so many times when I have leaned on a lot of these things, and probably a lot of the ones that I used to lean on are in your book. Um, but, because what is the importance of? Now? You've got this book set up a certain way so that you can read it in a month. Was it 30 seconds?
Speaker 2:yeah. So I wrote because I'm not a big reader myself, so I kind of wrote it for people like me, right, and I always tell people they're like, oh man, I'd love to read your book. I'm just not a reader and I'm like, well, funny, you should say that, right, if you are a reader, of course you're gonna read it, right? But, um, it's, there's 30 chapters in it and that was intentional. So I've got probably 3,000 breadisms, but, but the 30 that I that I picked were for that reason.
Speaker 2:So it's written with the intention that you read a chapter every day and the chapter might take you five, ten minutes to get through.
Speaker 2:And once you read that chapter, that saying and and the philosophy and the why behind it and the psychology behind it, allows you to marinate on that.
Speaker 2:And because what I found over the years, if I'm in a situation and you talked earlier about leaning on quotes and philosophies if you hear a bunch of them or you don't really stop and marinate on it, then when you need it you can't recall it and you don't remember it, right, right.
Speaker 2:So the reason I wrote it this way is really, at the end of 30 days, you've read one philosophy a day, or one life lesson a day. And then what I've heard from a number of readers since it was published is, after that 30 days is over, then, whether it's with their morning coffee or at the end of the day with their glass of wine at the end of the night, you know they'll pull that book out and they know which chapter to go to to help them with the situation that's currently causing them anxiety or stress, and then they'll reread just that chapter and marinate on it again and again. It's not because all of us are pressed for time, right? So it's not something that you're going. You know I don't have an hour to devote to reading this book. You know I'd rather deal with the anxiety, right? So I don't know if that's necessarily.
Speaker 2:I get what you're coming from. Yeah, but to me it's more like hey, listen in five or 10 minutes after you've digested the whole book, then you know where to kind of go back and recall what you need given on what that day has thrown at you or what you think that day might throw at you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because we could always use a little reinforcement from time to time. Right, yeah, absolutely. And your 30 days, your 30 chapters. They kind of cover the gamut of what somebody might need spiritually or mentally to get over a situation. What's an example of maybe one here?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so an example, probably one of the ones I get a lot of the feedback on, is you can't trip over what's behind you.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's so good.
Speaker 2:Right. So you know a lot of people. You know when they're dealing with something that's making them anxious or have anxiety or lack of confidence, it usually has to do with something that's happened in their past. Now something coming up in the future might trigger it, but it's usually something that happened in the past. Just when it comes to relationships and dealing with people, you know there might be something that I did in the past that I'm not proud of, right? Maybe I wasn't kind to somebody when I could have been or should have been, and you know that's still eating at me. And then I have to realize, you know what. I can't trip over that again. It's already behind me Now.
Speaker 2:That doesn't mean that I don't owe that person an apology and make sure I don't repeat the actions, right. But I also need to learn to forgive myself after they've forgiven me and say you know what? Or if somebody did something to me and I'm continuing to harbor that anger maybe they didn't apologize right and I'm continuing to harbor that anger. Maybe they didn't apologize right, but I'm still allowing them to control my emotions, which I'm not a fan of right. I'm a fan of me controlling and me being in charge of my emotions. So that's one that's really one that has a lot of feedback, especially with folks, I think, that are struggling with some sort of an addiction. That's one that they've leaned on a lot to help them through it.
Speaker 1:Oh sure, Because, yeah, because we generally have something in our past that we're not fond of If you're human for sure, right, right.
Speaker 1:For sure. That's so cool because and it's funny you should bring that up because there is some I just the other day had an issue and somebody months ago did something that made me unhappy and I never said anything to them about it. They didn't know they upset me, so they didn't apologize. And, yeah, that's been gnawing at me from the inside out and I was just because we had talked you and I and I knew that quote and I kept thinking you can't trip over what's behind you, let it go. So, yeah, thanks for that, yeah.
Speaker 2:And kind of on that theme, you know, when you kind of you know, talk about the other person, the other thing you know that may help you with that particular one is, you know, hold yourself to at least the same level accountability to which you hold others. So you know what I mean by. There is we kind of judge ourselves on our intentions or what we meant to do. We judge those around us by their actions and what they actually did or did not do Right, and I talk about this in the book and you know talk about. You know kindness and forgiveness and all the things that your show is based on. You know, when you adopt that mindset, you surely do give a lot of people a break a lot faster.
Speaker 2:Because another way to look at it, you know how many times have we done something unintentionally to hurt somebody or said somebody. It was unintentional, we didn't mean to, we did right, but we don't know that we owe them, and you know. So we're quick to forgive ourselves but not really quick to forgive others, and I dive really deep into this. It was one of my favorite chapters to write Because I think it's so profound in getting somebody kind of the all the keys that I feel you need to build confidence and reduce anxiety. And it's doing those little things with an internal voice to be kinder and gentler to those around us.
Speaker 1:Yeah, for sure. I couldn't agree more. I was just going to ask you know, and because really this can make you feel this book will make you a better person. And if you don't buy it right now, no, but yeah, I can see how reading this book could make you a better person, but also kinder.
Speaker 2:Well, mike, I think there's a chapter in the book and when I wrote the chapter I certainly got a little bit of pushback from my publisher and I got pushed back on a lot of things from the publisher, that's what they're there for.
Speaker 2:Again, I wrote the book to help people. Not how many it sold was not my, was not a goal of mine. Right, so, yeah, so you know, when you go into it kind of with that mindset of you know writing it for that reason, you know that's, that's what you kind of come up with. Right is right, as you know what does this look like. But one of the chapters of the book is, of course, I love myself. If I didn't, I would change right.
Speaker 2:So you about an arrogant, obnoxious statement to make right, and it's a breadism and it's one that I make a lot Right, and.
Speaker 2:But when you read the chapter, kind of a light bulb goes off and again this is feedback from readers that I've gotten.
Speaker 2:You know where they're like, hey, that one chapter I was like this guy's a bit of a full of himself, but then I read the chapter and there was an aha moment, right, so you talk about becoming better.
Speaker 2:So when I say a statement like that, I'm not saying Brett Davis is perfect and Brett Davis has it figured out and Brett Davis is this, that and the other. What I'm saying is I realize that until I get myself to a position that I love and respect who I am at this point in my journey, meaning again forgiving myself for not being perfect I'm not perfect, the book's not perfect, the people around me aren't perfect. But when I get to the point where I kind of respect who I am at this point in my journey and love who I am at this point in my journey, what happens is it's so easy to give kindness and give advice and give everything in myself away to everybody else with no expectation of anything in return. All of us out there have said to somebody or said to ourselves, that person was a jerk to me because they're not happy with their life and where they're at.
Speaker 1:We've all said that a thousand times.
Speaker 2:We know that about ourselves. How many times have we been a jerk or taken out something on somebody else whether it's a loved one or a stranger because there was something else going on in our lives that didn't make us happen and somebody was going to pay for it? Damn it, right, Right. That's why I spend so much time on making sure that I'm in a position and I prioritize making sure I'm in a position where I'm happy with who I am at this point in my life and I always say that it doesn't say I'm not a position where I'm happy with who I am at this point in my life, and I always say that it doesn't say I'm not a finished product. I have to work on this every day, but when I find days that I'm really happy with who I am and I like and love myself, it's so much easier to be kinder to others around me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, to others around me, yeah, and is it kind of like the whole airplane?
Speaker 2:put the oxygen mask on yourself first before you try to help somebody else, because if you don't that's one of the chapters of the book. Is it really? It really is. See, I knew you knew a couple of these. Put your own mask on first and it's funny you can't help anybody else unless you get yourself yeah, I have.
Speaker 2:I have a morning routine that's non-negotiable, unless there's an emergency, obviously right, but it's not an emergency in my life. I have a morning routine that's non-negotiable, right, and and I've been been married for 30 years and early on, you know, my wife was like I didn't get it until she started adopting that right and she's like I just thought in the morning. You know, my wife was like I didn't get it until she started adopting that Right and she's like I just thought in the morning you know, brett's going to do his thing and nobody better mess with him or talk to him or whatever she was. But then I realized once you do you, you're there for everybody else the rest of the day and I said right, and I believe in that. For others as well, do you? And some people's routine may be in the evening or the afternoon, mine just happens to be in the morning.
Speaker 1:I think that's a great way to start off the day, though, and because, yeah, it just kind of mentally sets you for the day, I think.
Speaker 2:For sure. And when I, when I do, at the very end of kind of my morning routine, when I'm you know kind of you know doing my morning reflection on my morning meditation or my morning prayer, the last thing every single morning I say, you know, in my prayers is to put me in a position to make somebody else's day special. It's the last thing I ask for, right? I don't ask't ask you know when.
Speaker 1:I give thanks for everything.
Speaker 2:But so I leave kind of my morning routine with. The last thing I say is put me in a position to make somebody else's day special that's perfect.
Speaker 1:I love that, brett. That was so amazing. I I highly encourage everybody to read Brett's book. Your your website will be linked in the show notes to the show. I really, really really appreciate you coming on and sharing this with us.
Speaker 2:Sure thing, my, my absolute pleasure. And the one thing, mike, that that I would like to share with your readers is you've kind of heard me say a couple of times the intention of this book was just to help a couple of people and it wasn't for kind of self-notoriety or financial gain. So you know, any of your listeners out there, I know you have, you know some leaders, board members and other things out there. But if anybody's out there involved with whether it's a group home or like a boys and girls club or a teacher that maybe is teaching some kids that could use this, or a leader, and you just don't have it in the budget to purchase, you know four, five, six, seven of these books there are 10 books to give out to anybody. Please contact me through through the website, my emails on there, because I will. I will cover the books and the shipping and handling and just send me where you want them and how many you want Within reason, you know, ask for 1000. But you know, at least to start with, at least get a little bit first. But um, yeah, and and and, all the uh, all the, all the profits from the book go to go to more books being donated to, to people that could use them.
Speaker 2:Um, because, again, the the book's about, you know, trying to help people, um, deal with their inner anxiety. You know, kind of kind of kind of deal with the noise in their head if they will. Because, you know, one of the things that that I've learned over the years is, you know, anxiety is kind of created by the noise in your head, you know, and it's you that, that that noise and anxiety is almost always over something that happened in the past or something that's going to happen in the future. And what it does, mike, is it robs us of the power of being present. And you know tomorrow's job is to worry about tomorrow. Yesterday's gone, we can't trip over it again. So, you know, really just kind of helping people be in the present. And you know I talk about in the book. This isn't a dress rehearsal, this is our life right Good story. So let's do what we can to not only get it right for ourselves but to make this one life special for those we interact with.
Speaker 1:Amen brother. I love that Thank you for those we interact with. Amen brother, I love that. Thank you, brett. You have a fantastic week. I really do appreciate it and we will talk again soon.
Speaker 2:Again thanks, mike, and appreciate you having me on.
Speaker 1:I'll text you the information on the show Perfect. I want to thank you for taking this time to listen to this episode with my guest, brett Davis. I hope you were able to take something positive from the time that you spent with us here. Maybe you'll be inspired, maybe you'll be motivated, maybe you'll be moved. If you experienced any of those positive feelings, please, please, please, consider sharing this podcast with your friends and family. I am always striving to offer you a better podcast, so give me some feedback. Let me know how you think I'm doing. Email me, leave me a message on our socials. It would mean the world Also. Feel free to follow us on our socials like Facebook, instagram, linkedin and TikTok. Make sure you follow us on wherever you listen to your podcasts as well. Every little bit helps. I really want to get this podcast out there and I want more people to have this platform or this space where they can feel hopeful, and it would help a lot if you could do those things.
Speaker 1:This podcast is part of the Mayday Media Network. If you have an idea for a podcast and you need some production assistance, or you already have a podcast and you're looking for a supportive network to join, check out MaydayMediaNetworkcom and check out the many different shows, like Afrocentric Spoil, my Movie Generation Mixtape In a Pickle Radio Show, wake Up and Dream with D'Anthony Palin, staxo Pax and the Time Pals. Staxo Pax and the Time Pals. We'll be back again next week with a new episode and we would be honored if you would join us. You've been listening to the Kindness Matters Podcast. I'm your host, mike Rathbun. Have a fantastic week.
