The Kindness Matters Podcast
So. Much. Division. Let's talk about how to change that. Re-engage as neighbors, friends, co-workers and family. Let's set out to change the world. Strike that. Change A World. One person at a time, make someone's life a little better and then do it again tomorrow and the day after that, through kindness.
Kindness is a Super-Power that each of us has within us. It is so powerful it has the potential to change not only your life but those around you, too. Let's talk about kindness.
The Kindness Matters Podcast
Queer Allyship: Breaking Down Myths and Building Support
Kindness truly matters when it comes to supporting our LGBTQ+ loved ones - especially in today's climate of increasing anti-queer legislation. In this eye-opening conversation, Jennifer Boudrye, founder of Queer Allyship, shares her wisdom on how parents can navigate their child's coming out journey with compassion and understanding.
Jennifer's path to advocacy began through personal connections and compassion. After years in education witnessing the struggles of queer youth firsthand, she now dedicates her life to empowering parents who may feel unprepared when their child comes out. Her approach is refreshingly straightforward yet deeply empathetic: "If your religion is leading you to hate anyone, you're doing it wrong."
The most illuminating moments come when Jennifer breaks down complex concepts into relatable examples. She explains gender identity with a brilliant analogy—asking how someone knows they're right-handed. The answer? It simply feels natural. Gender identity works the same way. People know who they are because it feels right, not because of physical characteristics.
Jennifer skillfully dispels dangerous myths about transgender care for youth, clarifying that gender-affirming care for minors primarily involves social affirmation and, in some cases, reversible medical interventions—all under careful medical supervision. The heartbreaking reality that only 40% of LGBTQ+ youth feel safe in their own homes underscores why her work is so essential.
Whether you're a parent whose child has recently come out, an educator seeking to create safer spaces, or simply someone who wants to be a better ally, this conversation offers practical wisdom and compassionate guidance. As Jennifer reminds us, we all have the power to make our communities safer through understanding and acceptance.
Listen, learn, and join us in creating a world where kindness isn't just a concept—it's how we treat each other every day. How will you show up as an ally for the LGBTQ+ people in your life?
If you're looking for facts to counter your friends when they say hurtful things about the LGBTQ community and Trans kids here are a few.
Seven Facts about Transgender people you probably didn't know.
Mayo Clinic facts about being Transgender.
Facts about Transgender People playing school sports.
This podcast is a proud member of the Mayday Media Network. If you have an idea for a podcast and need some production assistance or have a podcast and are looking for a supportive network to join, check out maydaymedianetwork.com.
Like what you hear on the podcast? Follow our social media for more uplifting, inspirational and feel-good content.
Well, hello there and welcome. You are listening to the Kindness Matters podcast and I am your host, mike Rathbun. What is this podcast all about? It's about kindness. It's a pushback against everything negative that we see in the news and on social media today, and it's a way to highlight people, organizations that are simply striving to make their little corner of the world a little better place. If you want to join in on the conversation, feel free, Go ahead and follow us on all of your social media feeds. We're on Facebook, instagram, tiktok. We're even on LinkedIn under Mike Rathbun. Check us out. We're even on LinkedIn under Mike Rathbun. Check us out and, in the meantime, so sit back, relax, enjoy and we'll get into the Kindness Matters podcast. Hello everybody, and welcome to the Kindness Matters podcast. I am your host, mike Rathbun. Thank you so much for joining us for this episode, for taking a half hour out of your day to listen to myself and my guest.
Speaker 1:This episode is a rebroadcast of an episode that I did in February of 2024. My guest is Jennifer Beaudry, who is the founder of Queer Allyship. Jennifer specializes in compassionately empowering individuals to gain a deep awareness of LGBTQ plus identities by providing specific tools and fostering transformative mindset shifts. She respectfully guides them on their journey to becoming the affirming and empathetic allies that the queer community rightfully deserves. When this episode first came out last February, there were a few mentions of the queer community, and especially the trans community, but as the year moved forward, that talk turned ugly and pervasive Politicians looking for a way to mobilize their base made trans folks out to be the boogeyman, claiming that so-called biological men I'm using air quotes there were infiltrating girls' and women's sports in high school and college, despite the fact that the president of the NCAA, charlie Baker, testified before Congress that he knew of less than 10 trans student-athletes in college sports out of over half a million athletes. These days, you can't scroll through social media without seeing someone bemoaning the presence of again, air quotes biological men in their daughter's locker room without evidence.
Speaker 1:While this episode is about the LGBTQIA community in general and Jennifer's work helping parents to come to grips with their child coming out, I think it's an important reminder to all of us that people in the queer community are human beings that deserve the same love and respect that we all ask for. In the show notes of this episode, you'll find Jennifer's links and also links to the truth about trans people in sports. Let's spread truth and love, not hate and lies. Enjoy the show. So, jennifer, you as the founder and CEO of Parent with Care. Your role is specifically helping parents. I'm going to mess this up, I just know I am. I want to say come to terms with their child coming out as queer, it really is.
Speaker 2:So I talk about helping people to overcome their misunderstanding and fear of LGBTQ identity right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, but you're there primarily supporting parents, correct?
Speaker 2:I do. Most of my work is supporting parents.
Speaker 2:I also do work with organizations and companies and other folks a lot of people in the education world, because we are all living in a world where 7% of our population is queer and there are a lot of people who don't understand, but my focus is really, truly, is queer, and there are a lot of people who don't understand, but my, my focus is really, truly I, my goal is to make the world safe and affirming for all people, and when I find that people parents especially of lgbtq folks don't understand, I'm going to start there, because it starts at home yeah for sure.
Speaker 1:But now you you didn't always. I mean, you didn't just wake up in your teens and go. I'm gonna advocate for parents of queer kids where, uh what? What was your journey from to here?
Speaker 2:every time I do this, I try to make it shorter and I'm not being really successful.
Speaker 1:So take as long as you need.
Speaker 2:Go with it. So a million years ago I started having my own children and in 1996, I was the producer and host of a radio talk show called Discovering Kids in Wilmington, delaware, and I was featuring community resources for parents and families. And then I moved back to Montgomery County, maryland, which was my hometown, and then I had three children trying to figure out like where all the things were for them to do, and so I created a resource directory called Family Net Source, which I ran for several years. And then there was this time where I realized like health insurance and regular hours were good when you had kids. So I went back to school and got a master's in library science and worked as a school librarian for 17 plus years.
Speaker 2:Four of those years I was the director of library programs for DC public schools. And then I got to a point I was working public schools. And then I got to a point um, I was working. Uh, my children obviously had grown and gotten older. Um, and I was working for an all girls boarding school. Oh, the same as the director of library.
Speaker 2:Um, and then, at the same, time yeah at the same time I was um doing a lot of advocacy work in the LGBTQ space world. My own son is a very proud bisexual man and I'm also the bonus mom to a trans man. So I'd been working with a local nonprofit doing a lot of work on training and educating and advocacy and, at the same time, working in this all-girls school. I had several students who were no longer identifying as female, so I became the go-to person with all things DEI being around LGBTQ plus and got to a point where the school really couldn't, wasn't comfortable placing themselves, like defining what is girl right.
Speaker 2:So I ended up in a situation where I had a group of advisees, as most educators do, and I had one student who was not identifying as female, and I had another student whose mother was a very, very rabid anti-LGBTQ cross person.
Speaker 2:And I just said I can't. The cognitive dissonance was just too too painful. So I stepped back and realized I wanted to do something different with the next chapter of my life and I literally Googled because I'm a librarian Is parent coaching a thing? Right? Because, I thinking back to my entire career, everything had always been about connecting people with information and resources. Parenting yeah, I'm very passionate about trying to parent, well, knowing that I don't always, often.
Speaker 1:Who does really?
Speaker 2:always try to, because nobody teaches us right. So parent coaching is a thing. So in in between, I had also gotten a master's in educational leadership. So as an academic, I'm like I need another, you know, certification, something. So I went to the Jai Institute for Parenting and became a certified parent coach, started working as a parent coach and realized that the folks that I was connecting with the most and one of the greatest needs was parents whose kids were coming out, who may have been or may have felt that they were allies, but didn't understand what this was, or were completely shocked and taken aback by the fact that their child was now identifying as queer. Like what is this?
Speaker 1:yeah, because it's one thing to say you're an ally and you can. You can have those feelings, but it's kind of different when it's your own child, isn't it?
Speaker 2:yeah, when it comes home it changes things you, you, why, you know?
Speaker 1:um, you impress of me as one of those people and I always admire people like this, because I am not one like that who looks around the world and goes what do we need? Well, we need this. Is there anybody doing that? No, there is anybody doing that. No, there is nobody doing that. I'll do it. Is that kind of describe how you were?
Speaker 2:I happen to have a T-shirt I'm not wearing it today, but I have a T-shirt that says Changemaker and I often find myself in situations where I will stand back and, you know, throw the grenade and then watch things blow up and figure out how to help fix it.
Speaker 1:Some people just want to watch the world burn.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't want to watch it burn I want to fix it before it burns.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And so, yeah, I really I do feel like this is a part again as an ally. Right, I am a cisgender, heterosexual white woman. I can look at the world from a place of privilege and recognize that it's my job to help people who are in a marginalized scenario, to be able to educate and give space people, you know, the space for people to feel their feelings about things and explore why we have these beliefs and then, you know, really truly shift people to becoming enthusiastic allies yeah it and I'm.
Speaker 1:I'm probably because I am also the parent of a trans man and a gay man, and you know, I say I'm an ally. I do my little posting on Facebook that says I'm an ally. I've never been to a Pride event. So, not being like a Republican in name only, I'm an ally in name only, Ain't no, I don't know. I love my kids and really I mean that's what it all boils down to right, Absolutely.
Speaker 2:And I want to say not everyone. Allyship is a verb, right, we are active allies. For some people, that is being that active, supportive ally for your child, and that can be all it is, and that is huge. Other people are going to go out and, you know, wear rainbows all the time and then blow it all up everywhere. I am not. I'm not, you know. I wear a rainbow wristband on my watch, but I am not dressed top to bottom in rainbows.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And so I want everyone like there is no specific way to be an ally for whoever it is that is being targeted, whether it's in a conversation or at your kid's school there are ways to do it that are within your comfort level.
Speaker 1:So now do parents come to you as a coach and say, okay, my kid is queer, or I think my kid is queer. What can I do? I'm not sure about this. You have an amazing and I may just link. There'll be a link in the show notes to your website, but in your blog you had a fantastic article and it was titled I Don't Want my Kid to Be Queer, and it was so powerful to read that I'm guessing that was a real client.
Speaker 1:Yeah it was. And just folks, if you ever wanted to know what it looks like to think your child is queer and not know where to go for help, to think your child is queer and not know where to go for help, and then to find somebody who can walk you through that and discover the steps that need to be taken, right, Because you had to go through. Okay, what's your real fear? What are you really afraid of? And I'm not going to spoil the article because I think everybody should read it, but it was just fantastic. So they come to you and they say help, Are there a lot?
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, you figure it is again. 7% of the population is queer. It's not a small amount. No, and the percentages are greater for Gen Z right, and I think one of the things that I want to make clear is it's not that all of a sudden there are all of these queer kids right, or that social media is making them queer.
Speaker 2:I think, what's happening is that we have a lot more language to explain all of this. We have a lot more visibility of LGBTQ plus people in media and other spaces. So there is, in some places, a lot more acceptance and affirmation some places, a lot more acceptance and affirmation, right. So in a lot more places, kids feel more free and right. We are, as human animals, built to put things in boxes and to label things. It makes us right, makes us know how to operate in the world, and I think there are a lot of kids that are like you know what. I'm not really sure about those boxes I don't have any of these boxes?
Speaker 2:Maybe I make up my own right, and so I think there is it's just a more of a freedom and I have an analogy that we get I'll get to when we, when we discuss, like, maybe, if we get to, what is gender identity and how do they know? But I think it is really important for people to realize this is not a new thing. It's just that we have more awareness and unfortunately it's become such a hot button political issue, which it should never be. There's a lot more visibility about the whole topic I know, and it does seem that especially okay.
Speaker 1:Let's take trans and transgenderism, for example. When I was growing up, okay, boomer, you know nobody, nobody. It was funny when Tom Hanks and Pito Scolari dressed up as girls to get into that apartment. Nobody batted an eye, but that was. It was comedy and it was done for that, and we didn't maybe even know anybody in our real world who and weren't transgender. They did that for a specific person. They were dressing in drag.
Speaker 1:I should say that. But growing up I didn't know anybody who was transgender. And now it seems like and I think that's the key there it seems like every time you turn around, somebody's coming out as another gender yeah, so I think it's important for folks to understand that, from a psychological standpoint, kids know their own gender by about age three. Okay, that explains a lot, yeah.
Speaker 2:Then you get a lot of messaging right From the world that says you're boy or girl? Yes, and so kids are either going to be supported if they're, if they're born, if they're identified as one gender and they believe that they are a different gender, they'll either be supported in that or not right, they might vocalize it, or they might not. They'll either be supported in that or not, right, they might vocalize it, or they might not. And so there is a lot of social conditioning and I want to give an example. This is one of my stories that I repeat, so if people have heard me other places, they will have heard this. But, as I mentioned, I am the mom bonus mom to a transgender man and, first of all, he did not transition and start his transition until, I think, age 26.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Because he honestly didn't know that it was an option, right?
Speaker 2:So he's now 35, 34, 35, and is married and his wife and he have a child and his wife is a cisgender woman and when she was pregnant she came back with the sonogram one day and he was so excited to say it's a boy and my immediate response was is it Because, even as a transgender man, he was automatically like penis means boy, penis means boy and I think of all people you know that that doesn't necessarily mean, and I think this is where you know we have to get into a little bit of the definition. I think of gender identity versus sexual identity, right? So sexual identity is what the doctor declares, it is, what is. You know, what we see, the genitalia and what you know, if they do anything further and looking at chromosomes and all of that. That's your sexual identity. That is what you were assigned at birth. Your gender identity is who you know yourself to be. And, mike, this is where I will ask you know, the question I ask when I'm explaining this is Mike, are you left-handed or right-handed?
Speaker 1:I'm right-handed.
Speaker 2:How do you know?
Speaker 1:Because I've always used my right hand.
Speaker 2:It's just what comes naturally, right I can't write legibly with my left hand. You can't. It would feel really weird if I insisted. If you broke your right arm, you would feel really strange trying to write with your left hand.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:It is that innate sense. You know yourself to be right-handed because it feels right. Gender identity is the same. I would have to make a decision of whether or not I'm going to share that with anyone, or what does that mean? There's a whole process of coming to terms with that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I guess I don't know my transgender son's journey. I mean, I do. Obviously. I was there for part of it, but I think a lot of it was hidden from me. I remember he hated to have his hair messed with Because in his former life he would have to brush the hair every day. Or you know, here, put on this dress, look cute, look like something that you're not. It basically is what it boiled down to, and he never really expressed that to me until the day he came out, and he was 21 when he came out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and he may not have had the language. I have a good friend who came out, who decided to transition at age 55.
Speaker 1:Oh, my goodness.
Speaker 2:And, as a transgender female, she now looks back at her entire life and it was like, oh well, duh right. It was there, we just weren't paying attention.
Speaker 2:And that's where I talk about that social conditioning and when working with parents, it's really it's again the messaging that we give our kids and I always talk about. I always start out with working with intrinsic bias, like what are the beliefs that we have that we aren't even aware we have? And when my son, my, my, my bi guy, um, was growing up, he knew, you know, I'm of that era of pick a team right, you're either gay or straight, I don't care what you are, you're fine.
Speaker 1:Love y'all.
Speaker 2:And he had that messaging on forever. And when he was 19, he came out in an article or an op-ed for his college newspaper in response to being called the F slur on campus. And in that article he came out as bisexual and I was like oh what, I don't know what. That is Right, he's now 27. So clearly I've done some work and done some research and learning and now I completely understand it. No-transcript.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I've told this story and I've told it of that year and I said probably one of the most hateful things you could say to somebody in his situation. I said, well, first of all I said I love you, which is a good first step, and then I completely trashed all. I said I love you, which is a good first step, and then I completely trashed it when I said, great, now I've lost my mother and my daughter.
Speaker 2:And even now saying it.
Speaker 1:It's just like I kind of want to you know and I apologize later, obviously, and but I think it still sticks with him we make mistakes and I know it was a mistake and I've apologized for it but yeah.
Speaker 2:It's out there it is You're a human and this is you know it is never, ever, ever too late to repair Right. The other person may not accept it, but you can always go back and explain. You know, it's my Angela's. Do the best you can until you know better. And when you know better, you do better.
Speaker 1:Do better, right? Yeah, for sure. But this, this, what you do, I think Jennifer Takes on a lot more importance these days. Takes on a lot more importance these days just because there seems to be a lot more focus on the community. As my good friend, jillian Abbey author of what Damn it now I'm not going to remember her book, anyway she wrote a book oh, Perfectly, queer is the name of her book and I had her on this show earlier last year and she's a legit bit of qua and I don't know. Queer may be easier than that, but there is so much hate focused on that community and maybe specifically the trans community and I. So what you do is very important and so needed these days. I mean how many. I saw a stat, and I'm not going to remember right now the number of bills that were introduced just last year in all over the United States.
Speaker 2:Just this year. Okay, we're recording this in the middle of February of 2024 and there have been over 500 bills introduced. Oh my gosh, in the first month and a half of the new year. And that it is. Yeah, that's why I do this work. Um, it is I.
Speaker 2:I really have a hard time wrapping my head around the why uh, yeah you know, and I I tell people and I I approach parents and anyone where I'm having these conversations with you know, starting out with help me understand how you came to this belief Right. Oftentimes, you know, and again it is that social conditioning Right, and so I try to dismantle and pull apart as many of the false beliefs as I can, part as many of the false beliefs as I can, and we often get to a place where it's, you know, people will pull the religion card to which I respond. One of my daughters is a Lutheran pastor and my son-in-law, her husband, is a Presbyterian pastor and I have it on their good authority and they went to one of the most prestigious seminaries in the country. That God loves everyone. Period the end.
Speaker 1:And we're supposed to do the same.
Speaker 2:Yep, yep.
Speaker 1:And I'm pretty sure that Go ahead.
Speaker 2:If your religion is leading you to hate anyone, you're doing it wrong.
Speaker 1:Amen to that. See, I don't have a t-shirt all over the place. Is it a rainbow t-shirt? Just a thought, okay. So let's try to educate here. Let's talk about some of the misinformation or lies that are spread about the transgender community. Oftentimes you will hear somebody say they're mutilating the children, and that's not true.
Speaker 2:Nope. So gender affirming care, especially when it comes to children, there are different aspects of gender affirming care. Okay, there is social affirmation, medical, legal and surgical all separate things. Okay, right. So when you are, when we talk about gender affirming care for a child, we're talking about social, we're talking about respecting the name that they have chosen, respecting the pronouns that they have told you that they are Right. So it is believe who your child tells you that they are in this moment, because it could change, right, so you have to go with the flow.
Speaker 2:Yes so no one is advocating for surgery for children, period zero. Nobody is right when it comes to medical gender affirming. Care right. We're talking about, first of all, puberty blockers. Puberty blockers have literally just put a pause on puberty. It's just a hold.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:They have been used for decades on children who have precocious puberty. Children, you know, little girls, who are getting their period at age seven, eight.
Speaker 1:Oh dear.
Speaker 2:So it's really early.
Speaker 1:I've never heard the phrase precocious puberty.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so it's. It is literally just wait. We're going to hold on for a minute because the rest of the body and the brain has to develop. So the safety record for these medications is very, very well established.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:All we're saying is if you have a child who consistently and persistently has identified as transgender puberty blockersers, give you that time okay for their brains to develop. Is this the correct path? Then there is the possibility of shifting into surgical gender-affirming care when they are of age, when they are adults right, 18 or older 18 or older 18 or older and the reason that it's really super important for the puberty blockers piece.
Speaker 2:and in between there is hormonal care. So if you are identifying as male, you may, at age 14, 16, be given testosterone or, if you're a female, estrogen so that you go through the correct gender puberty. Because if you have I'm going to stick with transgender female if you have a transgender female so assigned male at birth and they go through a male, traditional, normal male puberty, they're going to physically change right.
Speaker 2:Their voice is going to change the Adam's apple, the face structure is going to change. It is much more difficult for someone who has gone through that puberty stage to transition and feel completely comfortable feeling as feminine as they want to be right, so that the puberty blockers just put a pause on that development, so that the person can continue to develop as the gender that they know themselves to be.
Speaker 1:Okay, so how long does that normally? How long is that pause? It can be indefinite, or it could be.
Speaker 2:I mean, it's a few years you're going to want again socially, right? So if you have a child, that's you know. Hopefully again you're working very closely with psychologists, psychiatrists, medical doctors, right? Nobody is.
Speaker 1:You can't go and can't go to CVS and get this stuff happens without the parents being involved, a if they're a minor, and medical doctors and psychologists. It's all very closely coordinated. This is not just on a whim. Some kid wakes up in the morning and goes I'm a girl, nope, and we run down to CVS and pick up some meds for it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it is a very long, very methodical, very well supervised process.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:So ideally you're going to be working with your gender affirming team before your child begins puberty and there's many ways that they can determine whether that's happened or not. So you start puberty blockers and then you're watching to see like when is when? Are the peers starting to go through puberty? When is the child emotionally ready to go through puberty?
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And then you'll switch to, you know, the hormonal therapy, and, and just so, you, you know. So, if you have, if you have an adult who has gone through puberty right in their 20s, 30s, 50s. If they start going through gender affirming hormone therapy, they're gonna go through a second puberty for the people, for that gender, and it you know what puberty is not fun. So how about we just noopy's not fun, so how about we just no, it's not fun for anybody, nobody.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know my son. Yeah, he at the time that he told me again he was 21. And he had just I think right after he told me he started on testosterone and it was years before he had top surgery and another many years before he had his hysterectomy. He hasn't had any other kinds of surgery since then. But I mean he finally last year he finally got his name changed. Yeah, and his sex changed on his, on his driver's license. I was so happy for him. It's wonderful. So it's all becoming real.
Speaker 2:It is and I think it's. It's so important for people to understand how affirming that is. And and when I tell parents and I, I don't focus as too much on the scary statistics, because they are terrifying, right and so every parent it is is afraid for their kid.
Speaker 2:but knowing that you have the ability to literally save a kid's life by doing some very simple things, I I don't understand why anyone you know I have a hard time with the cognitive dissonance of people who say you know, we want to protect children, we want to do everything right for kids. We're worried about kids' mental health but are advocating for laws and legislation and policy that puts kids in direct harm.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:It's hard for me to get my head around You're absolutely right.
Speaker 1:That would drive me nuts, because I don't work in your situation every day. I can't even imagine how, hearing that day in and day out, the cognitive dissonance would drive me nuts. So if you were going to testify before a state legislature that was considering a bill, I don't know, to ban students from using a bathroom other than their assigned sex at birth, what would you say? Stop, succinct. Well, right to the point, very nicely done.
Speaker 2:Just don't right. I mean again, I think you have to break down. What is the actual intent of such a law? Right, it is to keep people safe. So looking at having to get people to understand that sexual predators are a whole different category than somebody's sex or gender right, and so a female is no more at risk, by having a transgender woman in the same restroom as she is, of having then have single person all gender bathrooms right.
Speaker 2:Let everyone have their own space. So we need to disconnect gender and gender identity from sexual behavior. They're very different things. And recognizing. When you do start to dig into the statistics and you find that the person who is transgender is at much higher risk of harm physical, verbal, emotional harm than any cisgender person walking on this earth, yes, you start to see the folly of that type of legislation, right? Yeah, absolutely, I go ahead. You cannot legislate people from existing, so you cannot you try, you can try.
Speaker 2:But having laws that deny people access, deny people rights, does not mean that those people are going to go away. It just means that you are choosing to make the world less safe.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was just trying to find it and I can't find it now. The Trevor Project is an amazing resource for queer people, especially queer kids, but they had a stat you probably have it about how many transgender, just LGBTQI kids felt threatened on a daily basis, Either in their school yeah, I believe it's close to 60%, Um, and that the really scary thing and again the reason I'm doing this work is only 40% of queer kids feel that their own home is safe and welcoming.
Speaker 2:So when it. Yeah, so when people, when we get into the conversation about you know, do parents have the right to know? Right, should kids? That was something else I wanted to bring up.
Speaker 2:Yeah so, yeah, there's another, another uh state legislator that is trying to force teachers to out kids and I did a whole training for the school, the school resource officers in my local district and they had the same fear, like right, we've got to tell the kids, the parents, because the parents need to know. And my response was do you know for certain that that parent is safe to know? To know, because if you have a child that says to you, you know, my parent is going to kill me or my parent is going to throw me out, you need to take that seriously. That may be the actual truth.
Speaker 1:And so by letting that parent know you have condemned that child to harm. Yeah, because it's not like you know a say oh, I wrecked the car or I ding the car. My dad's gonna kill me in this particular instance they may be.
Speaker 2:That might not be hyperbole, no, no, it is. You know, a majority of the home unhomed youth are queer and are out there because parents have rejected them.
Speaker 1:Because they are no longer welcome in their home. Yep, because of who they are.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I recommend. So I'll just you know when we talk about, when people share. You know the kids share the information, and I think it's important for educators to take a couple of steps. One is to say thank you for trusting me with this information, right? The second thing is who knows and who can't know? Right, you understand where that child is in their lives. And then the third is what can I do to help you and support you right now?
Speaker 2:That child might need you to be the one that helps them tell their parent. They might be the one that you know they might need the resources of you know, a homeless shelter, so that they feel they can tell their parents and they can leave and be safe. They might need you to keep that a secret for now. Right, there's a lot of different ways to approach it, but I think for me, even when working with parents, the child is the one that needs to be protected and cared for.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and everybody says that, but not everybody's doing it. Yeah, and I'll tell you what if you are a teacher or an educator of some sort and a child comes out to you, kudos to you, because you must be doing something right. Yeah, that they feel safe enough to do that with you. Yeah, so, jennifer, I could go on and on and on. I really could.
Speaker 2:I appreciate it.
Speaker 1:Because this is such an important topic and obviously it's dear to my heart, I'm so glad that my kids did not have well, I don't know about all of them, but at least the one I don't think he may have been questioning at the time, but it wasn't public knowledge, so any bullying he got at school was regular old bullying, not Don't even get me started.
Speaker 2:None of it's good yeah.
Speaker 1:Not about his, not about it, yeah, not about that. So, but God bless you for what you do, jennifer. I think it's so great and I'm so in. Yeah, not about that, so, but God bless you for what you do, jennifer. I think it's so great and I'm so in awe of you, and I so appreciate you taking a few minutes to come on and talk to me about it. I'm going to have you back, for sure.
Speaker 2:Oh, I love that. I would love that Absolutely.
Speaker 1:Fantastic. Thank you again. I appreciate your time and I appreciate what you do and keep fighting the good fight.
Speaker 2:Thanks so much.
Speaker 1:I want to thank you for taking this time to listen to this episode with my guest, jennifer Boudre. I hope you're able to take something positive from the time you spent with us. As a reminder, all of Jennifer's links and some factual links will be available in the show notes. If you took something positive, something inspiring, please share it with your family and friends. It would mean the world to me. I'm always striving to offer you a better podcast, so give me some feedback. Let me know how you think I'm doing. You can email me, leave me a message on my socials. Feel free to follow us on all of our socials like Facebook, instagram, linkedin and Tickety Talk and tickety-tock.
Speaker 1:This podcast is part of the Mayday Media Network. If you have an idea for a podcast and need some production assistance, or have a podcast or are looking for a supportive network to join, check out maydaymedianetworkcom and check out the many different shows, like Afrocentric Spoil, my Movie Generation Mixtape In a Pickle radio show, wake Up and Dream with D'Anthony Palin, staxo, pax and the Time Pals. We'll be back again next week with a new episode and we would be honored if you would join us. You've been listening to the Kindness Matters podcast. I'm your host, mike Rathbun. Have a fantastic week you.
