The Kindness Matters Podcast
So. Much. Division. Let's talk about how to change that. Re-engage as neighbors, friends, co-workers and family. Let's set out to change the world. Strike that. Change A World. One person at a time, make someone's life a little better and then do it again tomorrow and the day after that, through kindness.
Kindness is a Super-Power that each of us has within us. It is so powerful it has the potential to change not only your life but those around you, too. Let's talk about kindness.
The Kindness Matters Podcast
Heartfelt Stories of Loss, Love, and Libraries
What if you could turn unimaginable grief into a beacon of hope? That's exactly what Karen Houck has done after the tragic loss of her daughter Alyssa Noelle Audette to a drug overdose in 2011. Join us as Karen shares her deeply personal journey through loss and how the discovery of the Kindness Rocks Project became a healing force. Through "Alyssa's Wishes," inspired by a simple ladybug-painted rock, Karen honors her daughter's legacy and the family's mission to spread kindness, all while navigating the challenges of enduring grief.
We also take you to a vibrant community hub in Missouri where a love for books birthed a little free library that's become much more than its humble beginnings. This charming library, adorned with a delightful metal ladybug design, has captured the hearts of families and children alike. Through the trials of a global pandemic, it expanded with a toddler-friendly annex to cater to its growing visitors. Alongside heartwarming tales of community interaction, we explore the inspiring connections these projects have fostered and ponder the possibilities of extending the kindness initiative across borders, drawing inspirations from other charitable endeavors like Pancakes for Roger. Tune in to hear stories of resilience, community spirit, and the transformative power of small acts of kindness.
#loss #grief #heartbreak #littlefreelibrary
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Well, hello there and welcome. You are listening to the Kindness Matters podcast and I am your host, mike Rathbun. What is this podcast all about? It's about kindness. It's a pushback against everything negative that we see in the news and on social media today, and it's a way to highlight people, organizations that are simply striving to make their little corner of the world a little better place.
Speaker 1:If you want to join in on the conversation, feel free, Go ahead and follow us on all of your social media feeds. We're on Facebook, instagram, tiktok. We're even on LinkedIn under Mike Rathbun. Check us out. We're even on LinkedIn under Mike Rathbun. Check us out and, in the meantime, so sit back, relax, enjoy and we'll get into the Kindness Matters podcast. Hello and welcome to the Kindness Matters podcast everybody. I am so very, very happy and grateful that you are here to listen to this show. My guest today is Karen Houck, and in 2011, karen suffered a way to turn her grief into a project of kindness, and I cannot wait for you to hear this story. Welcome to the show, karen. Thank you so much for being here.
Speaker 2:Thank you for having me me oh, pleasure is all mine.
Speaker 1:So your daughter was Alyssa Noel Audet correct. Yeah, right, yes and like so many kids these days, she got a hold of some narcotics, but but because some kids get a hold of them and they take their trip and they're fine, but these days that's not always the case, is it? No, not at all that's not always the case, is it? No, not at all.
Speaker 2:Uh, was, was no, uh, sorry, alissa was alissa's. Was it fentanyl that it was linked? We were, we were before the fentanyl crisis that we're now um, because it was 2011. It was a drug called opana, which, um most people I'm sure you included have not heard of. We had not heard of it at the time. It was produced to deal with people being. It was made stronger. It was an opioid that was made stronger for the people that were already addicted to, like the oxycodone, and many people felt that it should not be over.
Speaker 2:You know, even with the prescription available, it should be in a hospital setting, kind of like a morphine sort of situation, and ultimately now it is back off the market. So you know the lobbyists got it on the market. It was on the market at the time. Somebody that she considered a friend had them and gave her one at a party and she made it all the way home and her dad found her the next day.
Speaker 1:Oh, my God. I mean, that's like every parent's worst nightmare and I'm really sorry you had to go through that. Thank you, and that was 2011, right 2011.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we're just about. It was the Saturday, well, friday night into the Saturday morning after Thanksgiving. So it was November 26th. So the timing of this is, like most things, perfect and ironic all at the same time. You know, we're knee deep in it November.
Speaker 1:It's just heavy yeah, oh, I'm sure I can't imagine the weight on your heart this time of year, and that never goes away, does it?
Speaker 2:no, it changes and it alters. I've done well, I tried to. I do a lot with grief, mostly my own and um. Alissa has a sister, ashley, and you know so, and she has a daughter, so I have a granddaughter. So you know, we live a life where we, you know, do things all the time and alissa's honor and we talk about grief, and I gathered the grievers, um, intentionally and unintentionally, they they do find us here, um, so, um, yeah, it doesn't, it doesn't ever go away. So in some ways it's worse, because now all her you know she would have been 32- and you know, like you know her friends have had babies and got married.
Speaker 2:you know Alice is here now and doesn't get to know her, and you know we have to do all these other things that you don't do in the beginning. Obviously you know so.
Speaker 1:Yeah, for sure, but so let's flash forward to 2017, was it yes when you found out about the Kindness Rocks project?
Speaker 2:I actually went and found the little rock. It's a tiny little ladybug, it's literally like a quarter, the size of a quarter.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2:A friend of mine that was living in Florida. We're Long Islanders. I was in Louisiana, she was in Florida and found that rock, a little ladybug rock, and it was July, which is Alyssa's birthday month, and she said it made me think of you and Alyssa, because I have a degree in horticulture and I was kind of a hippie and I taught. You know I, my Girl Scouts learned how to make compost and we would set ladybugs free to eat the aphids in the summer, which is considered integrated pest management.
Speaker 2:So ladybugs, and us were always a thing, and everyone that knew us then knew that. So she found the rock in July of 2017. And she sent me a picture and she said I don't know what this is, but you guys are crafty and people here in Vero Beach do this thing they paint rocks and they put them out for other people to find. And I was like, oh, that's intriguing. And I consulted with her sister and people to find. And I was like, oh, that's intriguing. And I consulted with her sister and, um, we went on, you know, dealt with Mr Google and we found the Kindness Rocks project, which is, you know, based out of Cape Cod, and I was going to say I thought it was East Coast yeah.
Speaker 2:Cape Cod and, um, by the end of that day we sort of created Alyssa's wishes and Alyssa, when she passed even at 20, had a bucket list. We found a lot of things in her room, as you do, and on the bucket list one of the things was to travel the world. So our intention right from the go was, if we do this and we put it out into the universe, that not only would people hear her name and her story, our story, but we would get her story around the world.
Speaker 1:So oh, wow, yeah, for sure now, and your rocks have been alissa's rocks, if you will have been all over every 50 state right, you know states, yes, but also around the world. Not we just.
Speaker 2:We just got to Japan for the first time. Yeah, we have a MyHusbandMansaorg website, alyssa'swishesorg, and there are maps of where we've gone over the years.
Speaker 2:And, yes, we're in all the continents, we're all in the states of the United States, and then we've been to a lot of different countries, a lot of islands, you know Cancun and Jamaica and all those places oh yeah and the intriguing part about it is sometimes we know, um, ashley's job used to be in Manhattan, um, so there was always rocks in her office and people would be traveling or she'd leave it, you know, at lunch in Times Square and you would never know like a man picked one up that was on a trip to New York and brought it to India. That's how we got to India.
Speaker 2:What and then you know, um, you get. You don't always get to hear about it, which is another whole wrinkle to the story. You know they're out there, you know, sure, doing their thing, um, so that you know. So sometimes it happens that way and then other times somebody will be like I'm going to Italy, can you make some rocks to me, can you hit? You know, give me, and we know at least we're there, like we were just in Las Vegas. A friend of ours husband took a bag to Las Vegas for a teachers conference, you know, and now they're turning up. You hear from. You know the percentage is not high, but people that tell you, you know that, reach out to say, I found it.
Speaker 1:So that's kind of a bonus you have to lay into the the randomness of it, you know so I was gonna say do you have something on the rocks that that tells people who find them what to do with them or who to contact?
Speaker 2:and it's interesting because, um, also in 2017, at that point, we had done a bunch of things, as you do, um, in honor of her, but they were all one-timers, like on her birthday, we would adopt a seal, or you know, you go, you do different honor of her, but they were all one timers, like on her birthday, we would adopt a seal, or, you know, you go, you do different things for different charities. We have now her rescue, animal rescue charities. We would do specific things, but they were, you know, for the anniversary you go get a tattoo, or the birthday you go get. You know you do very different things. This, the actual painting of the rocks, was the first time I had, like a tangible place to put my grief every day. So the painting is very, very has become very soothing for me, or very therapeutic, um, and I do write on the back of every one of them. It says when found share a picture of this kindness rock at Alyssa's wishes. So I write her name, you know, hundreds of times a week.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh, I paint every day, you know. So sometimes it'll just be depending on the size of the rock. It'll be a little less, but it's always when found. Share picture. And you know, sometimes you hear about them, somebody's moving and they're like, oh my gosh, I found this in the drawer. I found it two years ago on vacation in Florida, you know. And then and they're like, oh my gosh, I found this in the drawer.
Speaker 1:I found it two years ago on vacation in Florida, you know, and then we all laugh, you know.
Speaker 2:But yes, I get to write her name. You know, not only talk about her, but actually physically write her name every day.
Speaker 1:So that's how do you get that so neat?
Speaker 2:Well, I did take drafting in school and college. You know, for horticulture.
Speaker 1:Good for you.
Speaker 2:Landscape design, you know. But yeah, yes, and a good pen, a good pen helps.
Speaker 1:A really good pen. That's the secret.
Speaker 2:Uh-huh, a pointy pen.
Speaker 1:But you weren't content just with that right. No, you created a little free library.
Speaker 2:Yes, Well, it's getting a little bit harder to do, but every year on her birthday we always try to do something more. Now, as time goes on, again obviously that gets harder, but we keep trying. And her sister's a writer. We were always. I was the scholastic book fair chairperson.
Speaker 1:We read every Harry.
Speaker 2:Potter out loud. We would be waiting in costume at Borders for the new book to come out at midnight. We were those people Lissy, loved poetry. We always had a house library, a library in our house. So somewhere along the way in 2019, I was like, well, what if we opened one of those cute little library boxes We'd put. You know, we already had the Kindness Rocks garden out front of our house, so we already had some traffic. Where we live, there's a lot of homeschool families. It seemed like a natural thing. Ashley, her sister, is a writer.
Speaker 2:So we said okay, let's do it. So we had friends build the main box and it comes down to the fact that we opened in July of 2020. The world was closed and we opened a library. So everything has been donated. But that first year I was wiping books down because they were coming in, you know, out of people's houses. We didn't know what was what. Everyone was home. So we were a destination, so we hit the ground running.
Speaker 1:Perfect.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's quite extraordinary now that would have been perfect.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry it's okay.
Speaker 2:We just um, after the uh four years of missouri weather here, uh, the main wood box has kind of uh had broken down enough that we had to replace it. So this july we just had a commissioned a big metal ladybug library to be built. So she's huge and she's metal oh wow, I could see her out there right now. It's been busy today.
Speaker 1:No, no issues with the weather there um, nope, nope, I'm.
Speaker 2:She gets a little hot in the sun, but that won't be a problem. For now, the big black walnut tree and what kind of books do you?
Speaker 1:is it just just strictly kids books, or we?
Speaker 2:do a little bit of everything. Most of our patrons arrive with a grown-up, so I would say we're 75, 25, 75 kids books. We always have a toddler annex. That's low, it's a low box. So originally in 2020, we opened the main box and then each year past that we opened enough, we added to it, so it had three boxes. So there was a toddler annex.
Speaker 2:When my granddaughter arrived here in Missouri, I was like, okay, the toddlers you always see the mom sort of dad's holding up the kids to try to get a book out of the main box. I was like what, if we put a little box low, it's the busiest spot in the library Busiest always. The busiest spot Always needs to be refilled. It's crazy, it's crazy awesome. And then we had a secondary box because I have a little OCD and it looked uneven. So the next year we built another box and I would put like seasonal or non-fiction. We move a lot of non-fiction, but we have an extraordinary neighborhood that has a lot of, like, walkers and bike riders and it's um, so we have a lot of regulars but um, but for the most part the kids, you know. So we get kids on bikes, we get kids on in golf carts, because it's missouri golf carts.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know. Yeah, we did a few scooters. You know I'm like okay when my kids were growing up it was four wheelers, now it's golf carts.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, I get a pack of teenagers out there in a golf cart. I'm like, okay, don't put a helmet on, be careful, um, somebody's gonna get killed, stop it. You know, the mom in me comes right out. But but, um, but for the most part, yes, we do both, because most of the, the children, the patrons that do arrive, come as a family, you know, and grown-ups will come for kids books, the homeschoolers will come as a family. So, yeah, both that's awesome.
Speaker 1:I was reading the notes I had taken before when we were talking and and alissa really loved penguins. Yes, she had, and all of a sudden, I'm thinking, has one of your rocks been to south america?
Speaker 2:I don't don't think we've been in south america. I probably should have had the map open. I really don't think we have been.
Speaker 1:I'm'm really bad at geography Because I have a connection.
Speaker 2:Do you?
Speaker 1:I will definitely send you a box to help us get there. I did an episode a while back for a woman who has something called Pancakes for Roger and it's a charity in honor of her dad. He was an Agent Orange Vietnam vet, okay, and they donate money to law centers to help service members who need legal help for free. But every year she does a thing called Pancakes for Roger, where somebody you're supposed to take a picture of yourself, a selfie, with a plate of pancakes, and send it to them, and she said she had every country in the world and then she found somebody who was going to South America to McMurdo station.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:Or not South America, I'm sorry, south pole, okay, sorry. And so she got in touch with him and had him take the picture. They actually shipped pancake mix down there.
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker 1:And had him take the picture. So I know somebody down there wow and had him take the picture so I know somebody, I will, I'm gonna talk to her.
Speaker 2:Okay, I'm gonna talk to her. We'll make that happen. I'm so I. Everybody at the post office knows when they ask the questions I go with my little. If it fits, it ships ten dollar box, you know, and they ask the questions is you know lithium batteries liquid? You know perishable? I'm like nope, just rocks. You know lithium batteries liquid? You know perishable? I'm like nope, just rocks. You know, sometimes bookmarks, rocks and bookmarks.
Speaker 1:Rocks and bookmarks. This is so cool and what an amazing way to remember Alyssa and, at the same time, make the world a little better, a little happier place. I love that.
Speaker 2:It really is. You know, I could have never imagined that my therapy would become. You know the little. You know. We call it the kindness empire that it's become. You know yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But even like today, you know the world is a little angsty. I put out an extra table of books and I promoted it on social media. We help other libraries. We'll help teachers seed their classrooms you know, new teachers. We're over. 35,000 books have traveled through my hands, 35,000. And we know that because we sticker the backs and put our charter number on them. It has a little lady book sticker on the and it'll say you know the Little Ladybug Library and the charter number. So like because the littlefreelibraryorg empire has a world map. They're around the world and you can actually put the app on your phone and find the libraries wherever you're standing. So we always travel with books and it's also a good way because then people look you up, because they can look you up by the charter to see where the book started.
Speaker 1:So if I were to put a little free library out in front of my house, is it something you register with the littlefreelibraryorg? All of them do?
Speaker 2:I was going to say it's like $2525 and they assign you a charter number and then that goes on there and then you go on the map so, um, it's, it's just, it's fun.
Speaker 2:I'm always I should be getting a stipend from them, cause I'm always promoting it, cause wherever we go, you know you go to the doctor three towns away. I'm like, let me just see where I am, you know, if there's anybody new around that I haven't touched and I'll just go throw a couple of books or bookmarks in the other library and we'll absolutely put a link to the littlefreelibraryorg in the show notes for sure.
Speaker 1:Where do you get your books from? They?
Speaker 2:have been donated, all of them. Today I went to pick my granddaughter up at preschool and stopped for lunch on the way home and there were two gigantic totes on my front lawn. When we came back, and then right before I got on uh, the phone with you, um, a woman brought me like 11 boxes of adult books.
Speaker 1:She's like is this too many? I'm like we'll find a home we'll find a home.
Speaker 2:We'll find a home for them. So the mission now becomes part of that is to figure out. We work with a lot of other non-profits in the area.
Speaker 1:Oh nice.
Speaker 2:Like I said, we do stock a lot of other teacher classrooms or people know to reach out. That's always part of it. For me now is to help the books find their people.
Speaker 1:So, yes, yes, and you, you said you did some work with um animal shelters.
Speaker 2:We do. Um, well, our dog won't. You know, I raised my girls on Long Island, New York. Um, our dog was from an animal shelter called Kent, which is still there. Um, so, because our dog was from there when she first passed away, we suggested that. And the Riverhead Marine Foundation, which is also connected to an aquarium on Long Island, that does you know, helps with the turtles and you do beach cleanup and all the things that were important to our lives when I was raising my children.
Speaker 2:So those two stayed and then I lived in Louisiana for a little while and now I'm here in Missouri. So we've kind of added to the to the mix. I've always tended to be one that's kind of civically minded and I need to do that both for me and then for her. So, like right now for the month of November, we are actually have a tote out front by the library and we're collecting for one of those the animal shelters that we support here, also for a veteran's home locally. We had patrons that have now become friends, also had great loss in their life and they do a lot of work with the veteran's home. Actually, you'll like this part of the story the baby boxes from the original wood library they took and refurbished and upscaled into a new library in a different part of the state in Missouri.
Speaker 2:So they're doing that. And then the last one is one called no Shame, Kansas City, which is about period poverty and women's products. They collect women's products for the unborn. Oh nice, which you know, as the mom of girls and being a girl, a woman kind of important. So those are the three that we're working with right now.
Speaker 1:But yeah, so on the website.
Speaker 2:If you go to Alyssa's website the Alyssa's Wishesorg website, not the social medias there's links to all the things that we we try to support throughout the year yeah, and, and you're on social media, right, you're on facebook, you're on instagram yeah and um, my ashley has us on the tiktok to laugh when I say the tiktok, we're on the tiktok like the cool kids. Um, yeah, we're all the places, we're all the places we're all the places.
Speaker 1:I am also on the tickety talk see you're cool, I knew you were cool, oh heck. Yeah, it was so awesome. I am so happy that you were able to spend some time with me today, karen, and I really, really appreciate you and I appreciate what you're doing in Alyssa's name. I know she's smiling down on you so big right now and just loving every minute of this.
Speaker 2:Well, she definitely would love all the parts of it, except the talking to all the people. It's funny Her sister and I are very outgoing and make friends wherever we go, and she was not always that way.
Speaker 2:She had a very smaller circle than the rest of us. So when people ask me well, what would Alyssa think about what you're doing, I'm like she would love all of it. You know, like she would love heading to the garage now to open those 11 boxes. It's like Christmas, you know, and you don't know what you got in them until you get them out. But you know, the talking to the people on the front lawn and talking to you and those kinds of things would not be her jam.
Speaker 1:Not her jam. Hey you know what? We all have our jam.
Speaker 2:As we say in my house.
Speaker 1:That's right, absolutely. Thank you so much for taking the time with me today, karen. I so appreciate it.
Speaker 2:I appreciate you, Mike, what you do every day as far as promoting random acts of kindness in the world that obviously needs it and giving me the opportunity to talk about my girl.
Speaker 1:Fantastic. Thanks so much and we will be in touch.
Speaker 2:Okay, sounds good.
Speaker 1:I want to thank all of you for taking this time to listen to this episode with my guest, karen Houck from Alyssa's Wishes. I hope you're able to take something positive from the time you spent with me. Maybe you'll be inspired, maybe you'll be motivated, maybe you'll be moved, and if you experienced any of those positive feelings, please consider sharing this podcast with your friends and family. Also, feel free to follow us on our socials like Facebook, instagram, linkedin and TikTok. This podcast is part of the Mayday Media Network. If you have an idea for a podcast and need some production assistance, or have a podcast and are looking for a supportive network to join, check out maydaymedianetworkcom and check out the many different shows, like Afrocentric Spoil, my Movie Generation Mixtape In a Pickle Radio Show, wake Up and Dream with D'Anthony Palin and Stacks Opaques. We will be back again next week with a brand new episode and we would be honored if you would join us. You've been listening to the Kindness Matters Podcast. I'm your host, mike Rathbun. Have a fantastic week.
