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The Kindness Matters Podcast
So. Much. Division. Let's talk about how to change that. Re-engage as neighbors, friends, co-workers and family. Let's set out to change the world. Strike that. Change A World. One person at a time, make someone's life a little better and then do it again tomorrow and the day after that, through kindness.
Kindness is a Super-Power that each of us has within us. It is so powerful it has the potential to change not only your life but those around you, too. Let's talk about kindness.
The Kindness Matters Podcast
From Asshole to Awesome: Ernie Wood's Journey to Joy, Kindness, and Wellness
Ever wondered how a self-proclaimed "asshole" transforms into an ambassador of kindness? Join us as Ernie Wood, life coach and author of "Asshole to Awesome: Journey to Joy and Happiness", shares his extraordinary path from negativity to positivity. In a candid conversation, Ernie unpacks how societal pressures, such as racism and group dynamics, can lead to negative behavior and the importance of recognizing and overcoming these patterns. We explore the resistance to change many face, often due to the comfort of familiar habits, and how Ernie confronted his own negative traits to embrace a life filled with joy and kindness.
Discover the poignant lessons Ernie learned about forgiveness and letting go of grudges, illustrated by a touching story about a strained family relationship. We highlight the key role kindness, gratitude, and empathy play in fostering a better world. As we shift gears to health and wellness, we discuss the benefits of nasal breathing and the revolutionary concept of intermittent fasting. With a focus on creating a balanced life, Ernie shares personal experiences and practical strategies to optimize physical and mental well-being. Whether you're seeking personal growth or just curious about the power of kindness, this episode promises insights and inspiration for a more fulfilling life.
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Well, hello there and welcome. You are listening to the Kindness Matters podcast and I am your host, mike Rathbun. What is this podcast all about? It's about kindness. It's a pushback against everything negative that we see in the news and on social media today, and it's a way to highlight people, organizations that are simply striving to make their little corner of the world a little better place. If you want to join in on the conversation, feel free, Go ahead and follow us on all of your social media feeds. We're on Facebook, instagram, tiktok. We're even on LinkedIn under Mike Rathbun. Check us out. We're even on LinkedIn under Mike Rathbun. Check us out and, in the meantime, so sit back, relax, enjoy and we'll get into the Kindness Matters podcast. Hey, hello and welcome everybody. Fantastic to have you here today and also fantastic to have my guest here today. He's an amazing life coach and the author of the best-selling book ready Asshole to Awesome. Journey to Joy and Happiness. Welcome to the show, ernest Wood.
Speaker 2:Hey, thanks for having me, Mike.
Speaker 1:We can call you Ernie, though, right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you can call me Ernie.
Speaker 1:Just don't call me late for supper.
Speaker 2:Or a-hole.
Speaker 1:You're not that guy anymore.
Speaker 2:No, I am not. Most of the time I'm not.
Speaker 1:Nine times out of ten. I'm not. That's quite a title for a book. A title for a book and you say on your website that you were basically not a very nice guy to be around. I was just looking at that.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, Some of my description of myself there.
Speaker 1:Self-description yes.
Speaker 2:It's funny because most of my friends say friends say, dude, when were you an asshole? But like when everybody has the same like wrong kind of humor and the and those little things right, and then you're not. You're in the same crowd, right, and that's right. Some of the buddies are like no, I'm not gonna read your. I like being an asshole.
Speaker 1:Are there some people who just don't want to change. They don't want to be better, or what have you? Do you think?
Speaker 2:that too many people just get stuck where they're at and have absolutely no conscious to change or like, even like they just think they're right. You know, there there is no looking at the other side.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, no, I I think you're absolutely right.
Speaker 1:I was funny because I was through TikTok before we came on and there was a guy and he said he was born in Germany but they came to the United States and they were put down in Georgia and then they moved from there to Mississippi and he got sent home once from school for fighting and his mom said to him in German said you have to be like these people are and he was talking about racism at the time, but I mean you could probably throw any kind of bad behavior into that, right. And she said because if you don't act like they do, you will always be getting into fights and you'll always be sent home from school. I found that really sad that. But it kind of talks to what we're talking about. Right, he didn't necessarily want to be that guy, but he felt like he had to, or his mom told him he had to in order to to get along. I don't know, just throwing that out for what it's worth and it kind of goes to that whole. People don't want to change.
Speaker 2:It's interesting, though, because I grew up in a small town and when I was first there, we all got along. It didn't matter what race you were, as long as you played some sports and you had that in common. And there was a time in my life where not that I should use it, but I could use the N-word and nobody got mad about it. It was just that was the group of friends we were with right, right.
Speaker 2:And then that same town got an influx of outside people, kind of during that bad era where there was a lot of gangs and right before the rodney king thing and oh yeah, la was sending some of their people, receiving, you know, handouts or whatever they were sending up to the high deserts because the high desert was such a cheaper place to live. And then when those, when that crowd came along, I became like an outsider to that same group, because now, like people were starting to accumulate right right, like the blacks were with the blacks, the mexicans were the mess, the whites with the whites, and then it became separated. And then I learned that that that word is not not supposed to be used by.
Speaker 2:Like a white guy, yeah right, or anybody else, right, you know. And then I from there I became a pretty bad with the racism stuff. Uh, I had a friend beat up just because he was a white guy, he was in the wrong area, they ended up hitting him in the head with a brick and he ended up having to take a helicopter over to Loma Linda, and so there was different things that built up and, just like that young guy, his mom said hey, you got to be this way or be that way, or you're going to get beat up. So it's sometimes. Sometimes it feels like those bad things happen almost out of self-preservation.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 2:We're put in situations where you're not allowed to be who you want to be because you have to preserve or you get beat up, or you get this or that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah and that's too bad, but how long were you an asshole? I can't say it with a straight face man. I mean, was this most of your life?
Speaker 2:I would say well, besides, when I was born they said I was smiley, but from pretty much the majority, from about I don't even know, maybe 13, 14 to probably right around 43 ish, I had a lot of like inside, anger, um all all my jokes were like racist, sexist I. I just was just a person that I didn't really like inside. I mean, I had friends but I didn't really like myself. When I looked in the mirror it wasn't one of those warm and fuzzy things where I wanted to give myself a hug. Usually I looked at myself and went damn, dude, you've got to fix some stuff man.
Speaker 1:I was going to say was there one specific tipping point where you went? This has to change. I can't keep living like this.
Speaker 2:There was actually two of them, and one of them was a road rage incident. I talk about it in my book. I was listening. I already had started working down the path of trying to be a better person and I always listened to books while I drove. So I was listening to Brian Tracy and he was right at that time. He was talking about not giving away your emotions to another person.
Speaker 2:And I see this car coming on the freeway and I'm like dude, I know this jackass is going to get in front of me. So I squeeze up and he flies across. He cuts me off. Boom, there it is. We start flipping each other off. I'm cutting off people, you know, to prove the point, don't cut me off. I'm gonna cut off all these other people to tell him what he did was wrong. Um, he, he break, checked me a couple times while, you know, cut me off again, brake, check me. I'm losing my crap, man. I'm, yeah, red, face, sweaty. And I finally get alongside of him and I'm about, you know, just to tell him hey, pull over, let's go do this. And I look back there and he has a little kid in the back of his car.
Speaker 2:Well, that, like, honestly, it was one of those moments that when I saw that little kid, I thought about the times that my dumb ass did something similar with my kids in the car. But I was at the right, at the right spot in life where I could actually see hey, man, this is not the right thing to do. So after that I really started working on it real hard. I probably read 500 self-help books and different things and then the last one. So that was like the first catalyst that really started moving. And the last one was when I was at work. I was working in the power plant and one of my one of my friends where I'm and complaining about work and doing whatever, and he goes man, you're just like this guy over here, and not nobody on the plant wanted to be like that guy, right okay he was super negative.
Speaker 2:He used the f word like all the time and he was just really really negative. And when he told me that I was like man, I've been really trying to change and I'm still that guy, holy crap. So like that was the day that was my last thing that I went on a serious thing. I was like I'm changing and and I was telling my friends about it and they were like, dude, you should write a book. And then that's where we came up with the asshole, the awesome, and it took me about four and a half years to finally write it and get in a pretty good head spot where I can say I'm almost awesome sometimes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm awesome more often than not. How about that?
Speaker 2:All right, we'll go with that one, yeah.
Speaker 1:And it's. Is this just a guy thing, or is it? I mean, and I am, because men, we kind of stick with what we know, don't we? We have a tendency to.
Speaker 2:I think guys in some way are harder headed about it and like we don't like to admit we're wrong, right, no?
Speaker 1:no.
Speaker 2:But what I find like with the women's side of it they hold on to crap forever right, like if you're married and you did something wrong 22 years ago. You're probably going to hear about it sometime in the next week or two.
Speaker 1:At some point there's a good chance right. Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 2:In some ways, I think there's a little bit of a-hole in all of us and it's just a matter of actually seeing where you're good and where you're bad, like in good or bad, it's all relative. Like, if you're not able to forgive somebody, then that's probably a bad thing, that's. I'll give you a quick story about forgiveness. My mother just passed with cancer, probably three, four months ago, maybe five months ago.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2:Actually seven months ago, and, uh, it was super fast. Like she passed out, hit her head. They went in, they found that she had a stroke and she had cancer all over her body. About three years before that, though, we got into an argument, and so we weren't we weren't getting along, but we just started talking again, because she held grudges like she would not let stuff go, but to come to find out when she found out that she was sick, she never told anybody, but she cut me out of her. Well, when we went over there, I had a. Well that was there. Then I found out I was cut out of it.
Speaker 2:It was a big thing. I was able to go back the next day and tell her hey, mom, look, I forgive you, I know all this happened and I don't have. Mom, look, I forgive you, you know, I know all this happened and I don't have any hard feelings. I was able to, I'm, I forgive you, I love you and I wish this never happened. And then she told me well, you can shit in one hand and wish in the other one and see which one fills up faster.
Speaker 1:Oh, my God.
Speaker 2:And I never that. That was the last words that my mom ever spoke to me. So it was, yeah, it was like one of those little ones that like it hurts, yeah, but like to know that my mom was willing to go out without forgiving me, was something that I couldn't, I can't, imagine doing, and that's why I don't hold like grudges with anything anymore. It ate her, it ate her apart. I know it was part of the reason that she, you know, went so fast because she didn't like herself and she, just she did. She held every negative thing ever inside of her wow that was a big changing moment in my forgiveness.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it. I mean I know that from personal experience and I kind of tend to do the same thing. I talked about this before but and it's not, it's not healthy at all to hold on to that stuff, to hold on to that stuff, but and I really like when, when we first kind of connected. You said I believe kindness, gratitude, forgiveness and empathy are the keys to making a better world. I couldn't agree with that more. Yeah, it's gratitude. Hey, we're coming up. Hey, we're coming up. Oh, we're in November.
Speaker 2:Thanksgiving, huh yeah.
Speaker 1:So when you have sessions, you're a coach, right Are most of your clients men?
Speaker 2:Yeah, mainly just men. I, I work with high achieving men, uh, to help them re rebalance their life, because too many people in life, especially in today's world, we only look at the materialistic things. Right, we, we want to create a successful business so we can make the most amount of money and maybe have the best car. And while we're creating that, I find that too many people lose their self, their balance, and in balance is for me, I use four pillars it's your physical, mental health, your relationships and your legacy. Health, your relationships and your legacy. And to kind of bring that back to what you were saying, with gratitude, empathy, forgiveness and kindness, that is where we lack is because we're so focused on being successful quote unquote in the term of today's world that we forget our relationships. We forget to take care of our health, our mental health.
Speaker 1:Yes, mental health is so important these days and it's finally getting a little more attention now, but we could do a lot better job about talking about it and just being open about needing help or getting help.
Speaker 2:I agree 100%. And the bad thing is, I think, like our I'm trying to think of the right quote the world, like our world, is profoundly sick right now. Like, not and I don't mean that in a super negative way, but right, we have one 131 million adults having a prescription drug. Right, you have 78 percent of people that are obese or overweight. Um, 70 percent of people are just in a constant state of dehydration. Over 60 percent of people don't get enough sleep. I mean, there's just statistics upon statistics that's saying that we're just in a sick world and a lot of it is just because we're out of balance. Like, not getting enough sleep is one of the biggest things, biggest impacts on anybody's life. I mean there's only one out of every 12,000 people that can live with less than seven to eight hours of sleep.
Speaker 1:Yeah, for sure I'm one of I age I take Z-Quil to go to sleep at night and stay asleep Because if I don't, I'm up like two hours after I go to bed and my mind is running at a million miles an hour like a squirrel on a track right and I can't go back to sleep and that's not healthy squirrel on a track right and I can't go back to sleep.
Speaker 2:And that's not healthy. And you know why that like why it's they're finding so sleep efficiency peaks out when you're around 21 years old or peaks out of like 85%, and then when you get older, your sleep efficiency falls off. But what they've been finding out, why it falls off, especially in the day's world, is because, like your telephone, your computer, your, your tv, they give off the blue light which used to only happen with the sun, right, right, so it throws our circadian rhythm out of whack, which is one of the biggest causes of our sleep, you know, inefficiency and then that constant stress that all of us are in. Most of us can't sit around like you, can't sit in a room by yourself for five minutes, most people.
Speaker 1:You mean like without a phone or something.
Speaker 2:Yeah, without a phone, without some kind of outside stimulant, but what I have found like the most and I'm going to take this back to kindness the most kind thing that you can do for yourself is learn how to breathe properly and be okay with being there, just with yourself breathing. There's a crazy thing that 50% of the people are now mouth breathers, which there's a saying that you should breathe through your mouth as often as you eat through your nose. Well, there you go.
Speaker 1:Basically never right, there's so many bad things it does for the body Interesting. I did not realize that. I mean, I've heard mouth breather as a pejorative, you know such a mouth breather, but I did not realize that that was not healthy situations right like yeah, from like the caveman days when we were getting chased by the lion or whatever you would breathe through the mouth.
Speaker 2:But now we're, we're, we're almost in a constant state of overstimulation. Um, even even they talk about just watching, like when you sit on the phone. If you watch people when they look on the phone, like say, you have your phone here both the time their mouths are open or slightly open, so they start breathing through their mouth. It's just a weird, like a weird whole societal thing that we're in.
Speaker 1:You know, I used to notice that about my dad. Now it's not so weird, but he would sit there and watch TV and he'd be like you know just. And now I catch myself doing it. I'm like snap out of it. But yeah, doorknob, knock it off. I yeah. No, I did not realize. So what happens when you breathe through your mouth, is it? I mean, what's the harm there?
Speaker 2:So a lot of people don't realize is 80% of your detoxification actually happens through breathing, right, Okay, when you breathe through your nose, that's where all your hair and it filters it, it warms it, it moisturizes it and it allows it to get into your system properly. When you breathe through your mouth, it doesn't allow any of that.
Speaker 1:So we were talking about mouth breathing and how your nose filters out that stuff. When you breathe through your nose, the toxins and whatnot.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so the breathing through the nose. There's a whole lot of studies done on it, but basically you should be breathing through your nose all the time and most of us shallow breathe, which that's when you see somebody their shoulders raise up and down. Yeah, they say that the diaphragm is the most underutilized muscle in the entire body. So any of your guests I would highly recommend learning how to breathe. That is, it helps with your sleep, it helps with everything all the way down the line, right, oh wow, if you think about it, you can go months without eating. You can go a couple of days without drinking. You only can go a few minutes without breathing.
Speaker 1:Exactly.
Speaker 2:And many of us are not breathing right pretty much all the time.
Speaker 1:Now is this part of your course as well. When you say balance, this is, this is all encompassing right.
Speaker 2:Uh yeah, um, cause what? What I like to do is I find out, like, where you're lacking, like I go through a bunch of questions and find out where you know, where you feel good about yourself, where are a couple of things A lot of people lack in the same little areas. Right, it's going to be energy, and so when they hit on energy, and then I go into their sleep, how much sleep do they get? And if they get enough sleep, then we talk about like their breathing, and then with the breathing, then we talk, you know, and then their foods, and it's crazy, like we were all taught growing up. You know three meals a day, four meals a day, and that little chart Remember that little crap chart that was a pyramid, the pyramid yep.
Speaker 2:If you look at that food nowadays, half that crap you shouldn't even be eating, right, right. And then they've found most men operate better on an intermittent fasting schedule. Interesting Me personally, I do a 16 hour fast every day. I'm actually on a 24 hour fast right now. I do a 48 to 72 hour fast monthly and the benefits of that like do some research for yourself before you hop into a fast. But I mean, it's almost like getting stem cell, you know you can oh wow yeah, you can get rid of some of your cancerous cells.
Speaker 2:It'll go through a whole process where it'll you'll actually get a testosterone boost. You'll go through like mental clarity on my second day of fasting I have. I'm probably the most focused that I'm at at all in an entire month. Those are my best, most focused days that's really interesting.
Speaker 1:Wow, I had no idea. I don't know that I could fast you.
Speaker 2:You'd be surprised, because I used to be that guy. I ate at seven o'clock, I ate at 10 o'clock, I ate at seven o'clock, I ate at 10 o'clock, I ate at 12 o'clock, two o'clock, four o'clock and six o'clock. I was like in the bodybuilding and all that stuff. Yeah, I didn't miss food like ever. So I just had to do it in little increments, like when I started doing intermittent fasting. I started with a 12 on, 12 off and then I got it to most of the time I'm between 1816 18 hours. No, no food, and then I'll eat that six to eight hours.
Speaker 1:Okay, okay, I think I could probably do it if the 12 hours were when I was asleep.
Speaker 2:That's. That's how you start, for real were when I was asleep.
Speaker 1:That's how you start for real. That's the best part. Yeah, and it's funny too Again, and we're probably talking about metabolism and that may not be where you're at, but just I've become like hyper aware of the things that I could eat just like 10 years ago, that if I tried to eat like that now, you know I would just explode in weight.
Speaker 2:You know sausage and bacon and eggs for breakfast and a sandwich for lunch and all this stuff and I'm like I even look at bread now and I put weight on man, it's nasty, it's horrible well, the bad thing is is what they've done to the bread and, like I am not a huge fan of the whole united states food industry, the fda is funded by 45 funded by the people that they're supposed to be, you know, regulating. Yeah, we have the, the crap oils that are out there absolutely destroying the bodies, sugars and everything. Everything, uh, flour, and there's a serotonin is actually produced. Most of it is actually produced in our gut, right? Yeah, a lot of people don't realize that, which is serotonin is one of the most important hormones for our body. Yeah, and it's actually produced in our gut. And we're over here throwing sugar, which is horrible, and it just turns into acid.
Speaker 1:you know, it just does bad things to your overall balance right, okay, so I get, yes, I guess in a in a roundabout way, that that does feed into what you were talking about balance. This is all so cool. I really it's probably something I need to work on, and I keep talking to these coaches. They're like, well, you need to do the work and we need to get in there and see what you're really like, and I'm like I have no interest in doing that. I'm 64. Every day I wake up is a blessing, right? So you know, I don't want to live to be a hundred and I don't, you know, yeah whatever.
Speaker 1:And whatever, again, whatever.
Speaker 2:It's funny because it's just you gotta be okay with where you're at and like you have this kindness podcast, which is awesome, and from chatting with you from chatting with you, you seem like you're okay with where you're at right.
Speaker 2:If you were not happy and you disliked where you were at, then yeah, do the change. But if you're happy and you're successful enough to do the things that you want to do and have that legacy, that's part of the balance too. Right Is having that legacy Like that's part of the balance too. Right Is having that legacy.
Speaker 1:That's right.
Speaker 2:You don't want to go out being the guy who everybody talks about. Man, he was a great business guy, but he was a hell of a jerk.
Speaker 1:He was a jerk. Yeah, he was an asshole.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he was an asshole Like you, don't.
Speaker 1:Some people may still say that about me, yeah.
Speaker 2:Okay, I don't know you that well, but I don't get the asshole feeling from you Well.
Speaker 1:You are doing amazing work, ernie. I really, really appreciate the work that you're doing and I will have links to your website. And if guys especially guys, if you're listening to this and you're not happy with where you're at, ernie's your man. He can get you where you need to be and actually want to be.
Speaker 2:I'll tell you it's a cool little like. I come up I have a six little week. It's a six-week program. I call it Master your Life with Balance Blueprint and it just helps you get in those takes those four pillars and find out where you're missing. And a lot of it's just little things Like. I'll give you one quick example, which I'll end it with that is being grateful. Every single morning I write three things that I'm grateful for One about myself, one about my partner, my wife, and then one about the world. If you can just change that and get that going in your life, your mindset will change tremendously will change tremendously.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh, for sure, I know Journaling is another one. I think that helps. And yeah, yeah, just do those things. Wake up every morning, and if you can't find anything to be grateful for, we need to. There's some deeper work needs to be done right.
Speaker 2:That yeah, you're going to. Probably, we're probably going to have to refer you to one of my friends.
Speaker 1:All right. Well, Ernest, thank you so much. I really appreciate the time that you spent with me today. I appreciate the work that you're doing and keep up the good work, man.
Speaker 2:Thank you, Mike Pleasure being on the show.
Speaker 1:Fantastic. Take care Bye. I want to thank you for taking this time to listen to this episode with my guest, ernest Ernie Wood. I hope you're able to take something positive from the time you spent here with us. Maybe you'll be inspired, maybe you'll be motivated, maybe you'll be moved. If you experienced any of those positive feelings, please consider sharing this podcast with your friends and family. Also, feel free to follow us on our socials like Facebook, instagram, linkedin and TikTok. This podcast is part of the Mayday Media Network. If you have an idea for a podcast and need some production assistance, or have a podcast earner looking for a supportive network to join, check out maydaymedianetworkcom You'll find the link in the show notes and check out the many different shows, like Afrocentric Spoil, my Movie Generation Mixtape In a Pickle Radio Show, wake Up and Dream with D Anthony Palin and Stacks of Packs. We'll be back again next week with a new episode and we would be honored if you would join us. You've been listening to the Kindness Matters Podcast. I'm your host, mike Rathbun. Have a fantastic week.
