The Kindness Matters Podcast
So. Much. Division. Let's talk about how to change that. Re-engage as neighbors, friends, co-workers and family. Let's set out to change the world. Strike that. Change A World. One person at a time, make someone's life a little better and then do it again tomorrow and the day after that, through kindness.
Kindness is a Super-Power that each of us has within us. It is so powerful it has the potential to change not only your life but those around you, too. Let's talk about kindness.
The Kindness Matters Podcast
From Childhood Dreams to Lifelong Passion: A Nurse's Journey with Karen Scruggs
Ever wondered how a childhood dream can turn into a lifelong passion? Join us for an inspiring conversation with Karen Scruggs, a devoted nurse with both bachelor's and master's degrees in nursing, who also hosts the insightful podcast "Karen's Nnquisitive Korner." From playing with plastic nursing kits as a child to becoming a beacon of compassion in the healthcare field, Karen shares her remarkable journey and the unwavering calling that many nurses feel. We'll also offer a behind-the-scenes glimpse into the quirks and joys of podcasting, adding a personal touch to this engaging discussion.
But that's not all. We're diving into the essential topic of self-care and its critical role in maintaining mental health, especially in demanding professions like nursing. Through personal stories and reflections, Karen and I discuss the transformative power of self-kindness, how our upbringing shapes our self-worth, and why prioritizing self-care is a necessity, not a luxury. Then, we explore the fascinating interplay between kindness, genetics, and mental health, debating the authenticity of social media acts of kindness and sharing a heartwarming story about the positive impact of dietary changes based on genetic heritage. This episode is packed with insights that will leave you thinking about the profound effects of kindness on both mental and physical health.
The Kindness Matters Podcast is part of the DEN-The Deluxe Edition Network. Check them out to find your next favorite podcast.
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Do you like good coffee? Are you like me and go to bed in anticipation of a great cup of coffee in the morning (and afternoon, maybe). Then let me introduce you to my newest sponsor, Coffee Bros. They have built their business on the cornerstones of sustainability, quality, consistency, and freshness. From coffee to brewing techniques to coffee and espresso machines, they should be your go-to for all things coffee. And if you order from them, use the code Kind10 to get a 10% discount on your order.
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This podcast is part of the Deluxe Edition Network. To find other great shows on the network, head over to DeluxeEditionNetworkcom. That's DeluxeEditionNetworkcom.
Speaker 2:Kindness, we see it all around us. We see it when someone pays for someone else's coffee or holds the door open for another person. We see it in the smallest of gestures, like a smile or a kind word. But it's different when we turn on the news or social media. Oftentimes what we hear about what outlets are pushing is the opposite of kind. Welcome to the Kindness Matters Podcast. Our goal is to give you a place to relax, to revel in stories of people who have received or given kindness, a place to inspire and motivate each and every one of us to practice kindness every day.
Speaker 2:Hello and welcome everybody to the Kindness Matters podcast. I am your host, mike Rathbun, and, as you may have noticed, this podcast is a member of the Deluxe Edition network of podcasts and they have a podcast of the month and for the month of September that podcast is Berks County, unsolved. It's a podcast from Casey Shearer of Deluxe Edition, with Casey and Ray and Mike D from Take On the World. Hey, hello and welcome to the show everybody. Oh, I've got such an amazing guest for you guys today. I know I always say that because they're always amazing. I seem to find amazing people to share with you guys, so my guest today has been in nursing probably most of her life. She holds not only a bachelor's but also a master's degree in nursing. I believe yes. But in addition to that she's also the host of the cool, cool, cool podcast, karen's Inquisitive Corner. Welcome to the show, karen Scruggs.
Speaker 3:Thank you. Thank you, mike, I'm so glad to be here.
Speaker 2:It's so much fun to talk to a fellow podcaster because you know you understand what's going on in this whole thing. Yes, do you ever put in like applause? No, I never put in applause.
Speaker 3:I've never tried.
Speaker 2:I've never tried. What's that?
Speaker 3:Maybe I'll try that.
Speaker 2:I couldn't hurt, right. I don't do too many sound effects, but when I was a kid I, my folks, used to give me the cassette tapes yes, I'm that old. It was a cassette tape of like the old radio shows you know Abbott and Costello and what have you, and then I would try to put on my own radio shows and I'd try to do sound effects. It was fun. I'm just saying I bet it was. It was so much fun. How are you today, karen?
Speaker 3:I am doing amazing. I've been waiting for this rain to come in Nashville, but it hadn't showed up yet.
Speaker 2:Are you guys dry? Oh, that's right, you're supposed to be getting Francine or whatever. Her name is Just a little rain, just a little. Yeah, I think we even might get some of it up here in Minneapolis, but all summer we've had lots and lots of rain, but the last couple of weeks have been dry, and so yeah, anyway, happy Friday the 13th.
Speaker 3:Thank you.
Speaker 2:I just walked under a ladder.
Speaker 3:And you survived.
Speaker 2:I'm here If something horrible happens during the show. That's what it was. No, oh my God. So what made you decide to get into nursing Karen?
Speaker 3:You know, Mike, I was born a nurse. I truly believe nurses are born and not manufactured. When I came out of the womb, all I ever wanted to be in my life was a nurse. My mom used to buy me those little plastic nursing kits with the candy medicine and I would always doctor on my dogs and my dog and my sisters and my siblings when they got sick. I have never wanted to be a fairy princess, an astronaut, not a teacher.
Speaker 3:I have always wanted to be a fairy princess. An astronaut, not a teacher. I have always wanted to be a nurse. I cannot imagine not being a nurse.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's fantastic. It's so cool and what a great profession. Did you have a specialty? Because I know you know everybody talks about doctors and they all have their specialties. I know nurses have specialties too.
Speaker 3:Well, you know, when I was in nursing school it's funny you said that when I was in nursing school and we did clinicals in the hospital and you had wounds and suctions and all of this, I did it, of course, and I paid my dues, but I didn't really love it. But when we had mental illness and we went into the psych wars and so forth, I absolutely loved it. And one thing that you find out when you're doing something that you love, you know things but you don't know how you know it. It just comes so easy to you and I explain to people when you do something and it feels like breathing, you don't think about it.
Speaker 3:You don't even know that you're doing it, but you're doing it. Then you are doing your purpose. You're where you're supposed to be, and that's the way I feel about nursing and that's the way I feel about psych nursing. I do it and it's just a part of me. I do it like breathing.
Speaker 2:Wow, that's so cool. Yeah, because I'm not altogether certain. I feel natural doing this, but I don't think I was necessarily born to be doing this. But it's something that I absolutely love to do. I'm doing it for free. I'll probably always do it for free, but it feeds my soul. Yes, and that's kind of what nursing does for you, right?
Speaker 3:It does, it actually does, and teaching has been a huge part of my 35 plus years of nursing. Education has been a huge part of it. I actually have a minor in education. So everything, if you think about it, mike, everything you do, you're either learning or you're teaching.
Speaker 2:Absolutely.
Speaker 3:So teaching, educating, is a huge part of what makes me me.
Speaker 2:Perfect. I absolutely believe that and this is I think this is kind of important, because you and I were talking offline, obviously before the show, and when you talk about psych nursing, that kind of goes to the importance of September.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 2:Because September is not only Suicide Awareness Month.
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 2:But it's also Self-Care Awareness. Is it Self-Care Awareness Month?
Speaker 3:Self-Care Awareness. September has a lot of awarenesses, but one of them being suicide and the other being Self-Care Awareness.
Speaker 2:Month yes, yeah. Awareness month yes, yeah. And that is when you talk about, when we talk about kindness and we talk about being kind, and obviously I just had this conversation with another guest a week, about a week ago it's impossible to really truly be kind to others unless you're also being kind to yourself, right?
Speaker 3:yes, I totally agree. Um, you know, self-care and kindness kind of goes hand in hand. Being kind to yourself, uh, equals self-care and vice versa. But, um, before we have self-care, before we have kindness, we have to realize that we're worth it. We have to realize that we deserve being kind to ourselves, we deserve self-care, we deserve being selfish.
Speaker 2:Some people may look at it as being selfish's really not, but we deserve being selfish to ourselves because that makes us better for other people yeah, absolutely, um, and it you know, it seems funny to say that a lot of people have to be reminded that they are worthy of love, of self-care, and they don't understand that they are worthy of that. Do you find that in your work as well?
Speaker 3:Actually me personally. A lot of it has to do with where you were born, how you were born, how you were raised, your community, your environment, socially, and so it deals with a whole lot. It deals with your amount of confidence, which I didn't have a lot of confidence in myself, so I always second guess myself.
Speaker 2:Really.
Speaker 3:I know a lot of people find that hard to believe. But yes, I kind of second-guessed myself and so I have learned over the years to take care of Karen. First I was definitely the person that took care of everybody else, that rearranged my schedule for everybody else. I just didn't have time for myself because I was doing something for everybody else. And then it became an expectation, mike. It became an expectation for other people. Let Karen do it. Karen can do it, and at 61 it hasn't been. But maybe I don't know the last 8 or 10 years that I've really realized hey, you have to take care of yourself, you have to take care of yourself, you have to be kind to yourself. Whatever that details being kind to me is going to a movie, nice.
Speaker 3:Sitting at home listening to a movie or listening to some jazz or something like that. And another thing, mike, I was in an abusive relationship for about seven years and when I got out of that relationship I had to find out who Karen was again. I had to find out who she was again. I had to find out what she liked, you know, to do to start this being kind to myself again and self-care. So it's a lot of different reasons why people are not kind to themselves initially.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it was because of that relationship that you had that lack of of what. What am I looking for? What's the word that you really didn't think you deserved?
Speaker 3:Exactly.
Speaker 2:Do you find that? I think it seems like a no brainer, but women especially need to be more focused on their own self-care, because as a as a woman, you're probably not everybody, of course, but your mom and every kid you have is going to drag a little bit more on you and demand a little bit more. Uh, your wife, your husband, depends on you and maybe I'm being't know reverse misogynistic to think that women need this more than men do.
Speaker 3:You know, research has shown that two out of three people in the US do not practice self-care and statistically more men practice self-care than women. So no, you're not off. You're not off at all, and a lot of it is what falls under our umbrella, as being a woman, being a mom, being an aunt, being a friend, being a church member or whatever falls under that.
Speaker 2:Sure, yeah, there can be a ton of things.
Speaker 3:Right, it's just the way that we are equipped. It's just the way that we've made up, that we're made up.
Speaker 2:Sure sure. So talk to me about. Well, okay, you talk to me about whatever you want, because I'm going to listen, but let's tie, let's try to tie self-care back into kindness again some more. Which came first?
Speaker 3:the realization that you needed to have self-care to be kind, or your podcast. I needed to have self-care to be kind.
Speaker 4:I needed to have self-care to be kind.
Speaker 3:Okay, self-care to be kind. I need to have self-care to be kind, and the reason I started my podcast about three years ago is from being in nursing for so long and actually touching every area of nursing, from med search to home health, to ER to surgery. I mean one thing people take what they're told head on. They're intimidated by medical personnel. Yes, they don't ask questions, they don't know what questions to ask and a lot of times they'll walk out of the office and they don't understand anything that the doctor said to them True.
Speaker 3:Nothing. They don't go and prepare with questions, they don't go and prepare with their medication list and they don't tell the doctor. Listen, you need to explain this so I can understand it. So that's what Karen's Inquisitive Corner. That's one thing that we do. I don't use a whole big long words or anything like that. We talk about everything health from A to Z, and a lot of having a podcast, and maybe, Michael, you have also experienced this. You have to share a little bit of yourself.
Speaker 2:I think I probably shared too much.
Speaker 3:Yeah, well, I've shared the bad, the good and the ugly, because then people really open up and they say, oh wow, she's human, you know. And then they start relating better and talking to me better in the podcast.
Speaker 3:So I've had it for three years and when I started it I said I just wanted to touch one person or to make a difference in one person, and I have. You know people have texted me and said, hey, I got my mammogram, I got my colonoscopy. Thank you so much. You know, and this, that and the other, so it's very fulfilling.
Speaker 2:So a lot of this podcasting. It just struck me this goes back to the whole teaching role that you enjoy so much. Yes, yes exactly because, yeah, I, I think you're absolutely right. People you go into the doctor and you don't know what to expect and and yes, if we were thinking we would probably write down some questions this is doing this. What could that mean?
Speaker 3:exactly, you know I was looking and no folks.
Speaker 2:Google is not an acceptable replacement for doctors it's not.
Speaker 3:I mean especially if you're 80 or 70 years old. You know you're not gonna, you're not gonna um google it. You know you're not gonna say that I'm taking lasix. You're gonna say my water peel.
Speaker 3:You're not gonna say diabetes, you're gonna say I have sugar yeah you have to be able to talk where they're going to be able to relate to you and actually understand. But looking at kindness, I actually was looking at a study the other day and in 2021, they did a personality study. They had a group of people and they did a personality study and they asked the question. When asked to describe how they would describe themselves, they said friendly, but they never said kind. The first five didn't have kind in it. That I'm kind. That was very interesting. They described themselves every way, but they never said that they were kind.
Speaker 2:Did they come up with a conclusion as to why that was?
Speaker 3:No, they didn't really come up with-.
Speaker 2:Stupid studies.
Speaker 3:Right, it was a study, but it goes back to that. The majority of us, two out of three people we're not kind to ourselves. You know, we don't give ourselves self-care, so then we're not kind to ourselves. And it has to do you know, like we said earlier, it just has to do with a lot of different things.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, for sure. Hey, everybody, we're going to be right back with more of my conversation with karen scruggs, but first these words from another deluxe edition network podcast are you a fan of all things nerdy?
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Speaker 2:And I think, okay, does some of this tie into your psych experience? When we talk about people who either are ignorantly unkind or deliberately unkind, does that tie in anywhere with your experience.
Speaker 3:Can you explain some of that? You know, one in every five adults in America has some type of mental illness.
Speaker 4:One in five.
Speaker 3:When you think about billions of people, that's a lot of people.
Speaker 1:That is. That's a lot of people.
Speaker 3:That is One thing we have to remember. When we're kind to someone, it benefits us too. It increases our happiness, it increases our feelings of confidence, it decreases stress, it makes us feel accepted and connected. So the person we're being kind to it's not the only one benefiting from it.
Speaker 2:We're benefiting from it also. Absolutely, yeah, no, I'm totally addicted to that. Dopamine hit every time I do a kind act. I was like I need more of that. Speaking of crack, oh, no way, they weren't privileged to that conversation.
Speaker 3:But unfortunately there are some people in the world and some people may or may not believe it, but it's true. There are some people in the world that are born with mental diagnosis and they are incapable of being kind. For example, a narcissist or people with antisocial personalities or a psychopath, or maybe borderline personalities. These people are incapable of being kind just to be kind. If they're going to be kind to a person, then they're going to have an ulterior motive it's going to benefit them.
Speaker 3:It's not just from their heart. I'm going to be kind to you. They're not going to do anything to anybody that's not going to benefit them.
Speaker 2:That's funny. I was just talking to a creator on TikTok and she had done a whole video on people who kind of have a platform on Facebook. Their kind of brand is and I'm using air quotes because you won't see this when you're listening to the podcast but, being kind, um, and I I know there's a lot of talk out there about there's one creator, mr beast. I'm not okay, you know. Does he do that genuinely to be kind or is he doing it to benefit himself? There's a ton of other people out there. There was a guy in minneapolis here and every day it seemed like he would have a new video out where he'd go into a restaurant and he'd buy a bunch of food and take it out to homeless people and it was great. I loved that he was doing that. But it got to the point where who's really benefiting from this?
Speaker 2:Are those the type of people you're talking about.
Speaker 3:He's getting millions of views, you know.
Speaker 2:And probably monetizing it.
Speaker 3:Yes, yes. So you know it's kind of six one way, half a dozen, the other, you know, being kind, he's benefiting from it, but then he's also helping somebody else and at the end of the day, if it's not coming from where it needs to come from or where it should come from, they're going to have to answer to that. The other day I was at CVS. I was talking to my brother on the phone and this woman said could you please just give me $40? I need to get some food, I need to get some, pay my rent or whatever. So I went into the ATM and got the $40. And it was funny, Mike, because it came up main menu, and she said, oh, you have to touch that. And I said, yeah, I know how to get it out. But long story short, my brother said I cannot believe that you did that. And I told him. I said well, it's on her what she does with it.
Speaker 1:True.
Speaker 3:It's on her, I gave it from my heart, and it's on her to what she does with it.
Speaker 2:Sure, sure, your podcast. I'm going to switch horses here for a second, because I absolutely love your podcast. You have an episode that's coming out tomorrow. Unfortunately, you're not airing this episode. Won't be airing until like two weeks after it's done, but I encourage everybody to go and listen to this episode of your podcast, because now was she a friend of yours or just somebody that you met?
Speaker 3:actually her name is florence ewebway okay she is originally from nigeria. She lived in the states she she was a lawyer, her husband's a doctor and she has uh two grown daughters and she has a 17 year old son, and we actually met on Facebook in Be my Guest. A lot of people asked to be my guest on their podcast. She and I met through that. She now lives in London. The gist of her story is just absolutely amazing, her mom, died.
Speaker 3:Her mom started having grand mal seizures at 48. She died at 58. Her son was diagnosed with autism at three and he started having grand mal seizures at three. Oh my God, so she put a job and she just went to a huge research on what, what, why is my son having these grand mal seizures? What is going on? So, ultimately, her research showed her that she is Nigerian. All of her ancestry is Nigerian, and she looked at the foods that she was raised on and then she looked at the foods that she was eating in the States Totally different, totally different.
Speaker 3:So the conclusion was that the foods that we eat and that we're able to digest and our liver is able to digest really is based on our genetics. It's based on how we're made. It's based on our genes, because from Nigeria they ate a lot of goat, they ate a lot of fresh vegetables and they grew their food. They didn't eat ice cream and hamburgers and French fries, and all that when she changed her son's diet. He has not had. He's 17 now and he has not had a grandma seizure since 2014.
Speaker 2:Wow, that is so incredible. I just that blows my mind that genetically, where you come from I mean, I'm almost exclusively England, right, so Wonder Bread hello but just the fact that where genetically you come from might affect the foods that you're eating, might affect your, your health exactly is that something that we even take into account in medicine these days?
Speaker 3:no, no we don't okay, this is like and if you think about ancestry, mike is everywhere. Everybody wants to know the ancestry. So when you look deep into your ancestry you know you're not just black, you're not just white, you're not just Indian, you're not just Mexican you're not just English. You know you're mixed up with a lot and you may be surprised of what culture you have the highest percent in your body or in your makeup.
Speaker 3:You could be very, very surprised, and it may be the answer to why you have diabetes, why you have asthma, you know why you have eczema and different things like that.
Speaker 2:It's because of your ancestry and how you are made up, your genes and your genetics that's so crazy to me that we never even thought I I mean, I'm sure your friend is not the first person to do that, but that's the first case I've ever heard of somebody going okay, what are my genetics, what did they eat, what am I eating, and how could that be a problem?
Speaker 3:It's amazing. It's amazing and they actually she and her husband actually won an award. They develop a system by the name of Live Willow.
Speaker 2:Live Willow like the tree.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 3:And you take the ancestry test. The information from that test is uploaded in the system and you ask the system questions. You and the system talk, just like you and I are talking. Wow, and the system is going to tell you what foods are good for you, what foods are not good for you, what type of supplements you should take, based on your ancestry results, and 13 resource centers that are filling all this information about all these billions of genes oh my god in our bodies, and the ai system generates that information for you I was gonna ask if it was ai based.
Speaker 2:That's, that's crazy Now, because I know Ancestry and I think maybe also what's the other one, 23andme.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 2:The other Ancestry type. I know they have things that tell you when you're predisposed to certain things. I'm pretty sure I know what mine would say. Yeah, heart disease runs in my family. What do I do about it? Nothing.
Speaker 3:My blood pressure runs in mine.
Speaker 2:Oh see, but yeah, that's crazy and what a great system that they came up with. And we would have not known about any of this if it hadn't been for you, karen.
Speaker 3:Thank you, and you know, in Karen's Inquisitive Corner that's what we do. I bring things like this to open your awareness. But yeah, we talk about high blood pressure, we talk about congestive heart failure. You know we talk about all those things. But we also talk about things to broaden your imagination but also for you to be aware. It may be in your head, something may be going to you like I do not know what in the world is going on. Oh my goodness, karen said it on Karen's Inquisitive Corner and that's what I'm going through.
Speaker 3:So, everything held from A to Z. We touch everything.
Speaker 2:You're a resource, a needed resource, so it was awesome having this time to talk to you, karen. I really do appreciate it. I thank you so much for the time that you've given to us here. I will have links to Karen's Inquisitive Corner and your socials. I think you've got socials. I know you've got a TikTok.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 2:All of that will be in the show notes.
Speaker 3:Okay, yes, thank you so much. I've really enjoyed it.
Speaker 2:Me too. Take care and have a great weekend.
Speaker 3:Okay, bye-bye.
Speaker 2:I cannot thank Karen Scruggs more for such a fantastic conversation. It's just, it's so much fun to have her on the show. I'm secretly hoping that she'll reach out to me to be on her show too. Who knows, it could happen. Make sure you check out Karen's Inquisitive Corner. The link is in the show notes. If you like cerebral or podcasts that just make you think a little bit, that is definitely one you need to check out. Just make you think a little bit. That is definitely one you need to check out, and that will do it for this week. On the Kindness Matters podcast, we will be back again next week, but in the meantime, be that person who roots for others, who tells a stranger that they look amazing and encourages others to believe in themselves and their dreams. Make sure to check us out on all of your favorite social platforms Instagram, linkedin, facebook, tiktok, whatever we're there, check us out. Give us a follow. If you wouldn't mind, it would be much appreciated. You've been listening to the Kindness Matters podcast. I'm your host, mike Rathbun. Have a fantastic week.
