The Kindness Matters Podcast
So. Much. Division. Let's talk about how to change that. Re-engage as neighbors, friends, co-workers and family. Let's set out to change the world. Strike that. Change A World. One person at a time, make someone's life a little better and then do it again tomorrow and the day after that, through kindness.
Kindness is a Super-Power that each of us has within us. It is so powerful it has the potential to change not only your life but those around you, too. Let's talk about kindness.
The Kindness Matters Podcast
Transforming Tragedy into Community: The Anoka Kindness Rock Garden
Have you ever wondered how a simple act of kindness can transform a community? Join us for a heartfelt conversation with Missy Mershman and Stacey Burnham, as we learn about the inspiring story behind the Anoka Kindness Rock Garden. Created to honor Stacey's late daughter Nicole, a veteran, this garden started with painted rocks carrying messages of love and hope. Hear Missy's touching account of how this garden came to life and Stacey's emotional reaction upon discovering this tribute to Nicole, which has since become a sanctuary for many in the community.
Our journey through Anoka, Minnesota, takes us next to the vibrant murals near City Hall and the pedestrian tunnel under Main Street. Discover how the city collaborated with the Rum River Art Center and community artists like Bonnie to bring these artworks to life. These murals not only celebrate Anoka's rich cultural heritage, including its famous Halloween traditions, but also pay homage to veterans. Dive into the spirit of togetherness through rock painting events at Rick Sorensen Park, where creativity and community bond over meaningful art projects.
Finally, we reflect on how the Anoka Kindness Rock Garden has emerged from tragedy to become a beacon of hope and beauty. Learn about the community's role in maintaining the garden and the symbolic rock snake Daisy. We discuss the vision of making Anoka the kindness capital of Minnesota and how everyone can contribute to this goal. Explore practical ways to get involved, from visiting the project's website and Facebook page to participating in future rock painting events. Thank you for joining us in celebrating adversity-inspired kindness and the strength of community spirit. Stay kind and keep believing in each other!
Anoka Kindness Rock Garden on Instagram
Anoka Kindness Rock Garden on Facebook
Anoka Kindness Rock Garden Website
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Speaker 2:Kindness, we see it all around us. We see it when someone pays for someone else's coffee or holds the door open for another person. We see it in the smallest of gestures, like a smile or a kind word. But it's different when we turn on the news or social media. Oftentimes what we hear about what outlets are pushing is the opposite of kind. Welcome to the Kindness Matters Podcast. Our goal is to give you a place to relax, to revel in stories of people who have received or given kindness, a place to inspire and motivate each and every one of us to practice kindness every day.
Speaker 2:Hello and welcome to the Kindness Matters podcast. I am your host, mike Rathbun, and you know when you're involved in kindness, when you're actively seeking it out and looking for it and talking to people who are involved with kindness and random acts and that sort of thing. It's funny how you find things. You find more kindness. I had just recorded an episode with Lori Olson, also known as the Epic Chalk Lady, and I noticed on her Facebook page where she had posted to a group called the Anoka Kindness Rock Garden and I was like, hmm, I wonder what that's all about. And the more I looked, the more I liked, and that is when I found my two guests that I have today. Missy Mershman, is that correct, missy?
Speaker 1:Yep.
Speaker 2:And Stacey Burnham right, Yep, Ah, yay for me gold star.
Speaker 3:Yay.
Speaker 2:And now, Missy, was it you that started the rock garden?
Speaker 1:It was I did with a couple other friends and some other kids.
Speaker 2:Yes, a couple other friends and some other kids. Yes, okay, okay, and can you, can you talk a little bit about what inspired you to to start this? Really what? And and I gotta say it, it's an absolutely amazing space and and you just feel the warmth and the love there um, what, what inspired you to start this?
Speaker 1:Well, I had already been kind of painting rocks and leaving them around for a while and I had seen another group on the East Coast that had started this garden and I thought that'd be such a cool thing to do. And it was just in the back of my mind and then I don't exactly remember what the moment was. But, um, I thought, you know, this would be something great to honor people and my first thought was my friend Stacy's daughter, nicole. Um, so that was the first thing, you know. My thought was to honor nicole nicole had passed away and it was one of the saddest and hardest things I think it hit me really hard and I don't know how stacy knows what she knows about that for me but but also to watch my friend go through this hard thing. So I thought it would be a great thing to in her honor kind of start, not as a memorial we don't really call it a memorial- I was just gonna say that was it like a memorial.
Speaker 1:yep, no, no, it's just in her honor, is what I say so kind of, you know, with her in mind. Um, it did once in a while it takes a turn and turns into a memorial certain days of the year, but but it also is that for a lot of people every day. Yeah, so I just I rallied up a couple of friends, we got a whole bunch of rocks painted and I said Stacy, meet us at the park at dark, because I was honestly a little worried the police would tell us to leave and take all our stuff with us. So it was kind of under the cover of just when the sun was setting and we met there and we showed her, and then here we are.
Speaker 2:And Stacey, you had no idea this was coming.
Speaker 3:No, not at all. You know, missy had. So my daughter, nicole, died. It was January 26th of 2018. And on the 26th of each month, missy would send me a picture of something she would leave in Nicole's memory around, you know, but I didn't put. It was on the 26th of July that she had, you know, messaged me to come meet her at the park, but I didn't put the two and two together. No, so it was a complete surprise.
Speaker 2:That's awesome. And so you get there and you see all these painted rocks and you're like what's going on?
Speaker 3:Yeah, basically, I mean, it was missing a couple friends, yep, and they were painted rocks and at the time it did kind of start as a memorial. There were some signs and stuff and I think I was just speechless. You know, um, that is always my biggest fear is that I will be the only person that you know in the end remembers nicole. And to know that other people did remember her. And you know the significance of that day. It was just, it was heartwarming.
Speaker 2:And and the placement was was that on accident? Because it was, it was near the Veterans Memorial and and Nicole was a veteran, correct?
Speaker 3:Correct. I, you. I don't know why Missy picked. She might have. You'd have to ask Missy that why she picked that?
Speaker 2:Was it an accident or was that purposeful?
Speaker 1:it was purposeful. Um, part of the 26th of every month was that location. I I tried to, you know, use that as kind of home base for my little. I would leave something in that area. So it it kind of. And after I look back at this, I think we've come in contact with a lot of people who have been, who are veterans or in active duty, and when I'm at the rock garden they come to that park, to that veterans memorial, but now we find that they come back again because of the garden. So it was sort of purposeful but not. And there was that you know fine line of I didn't want it to be on the memorial site. It was not in the actual footprint of the Veterans Memorial, it was next to it.
Speaker 1:So, it was. I didn't want to be completely you know. I want to take away from that Exactly.
Speaker 2:Sure, but then the rock garden, kind of now I've got it confused in my head and I apologize. Did it outgrow that space, or were you asked to leave that space?
Speaker 1:Yes and yes, believe it or not, there are people who maybe don't like on this for some reason or other. Um, so there were some people in the community who felt that it was, you know, vandalism vandalism is the word that they really. Yes, and so over the time, we would, it would disappear, um, you know, and there were some times when we would say we're, we're just done. This is a lot of work and and if people are going to just keep taking it away or pushing the thing, throwing them in the river, that kind of thing, we're just done. And then I would say no, no, we are going to every time this happens we are going to fix it.
Speaker 1:No, we are going to. Every time this happens, we are going to fix it. So it would be vandalized often, oh, and my phone would just blow up, whatever, because people would be walking by and they would message me and say everything's in the river or something's gone or it's been painted over with black. And so our community, they felt such ownership to it. We couldn't say, we couldn't say, we couldn't say no. So then, you know, the city finally came to us and said here's what we would like to do. We would like to offer you an actual permanent location in the park we'll let you help us figure out where to put it and that will become then city property and under the you know care and watch of the city along with us. So they were so gracious and we walked around the area and chose the new location where we have the really nice, beautiful backdrop for our murals to be painted on, and it just it looks like it's part of the city.
Speaker 1:It looks like it belongs there.
Speaker 3:Because it started with a pile of rocks and then we wanted to keep it neat, so we brought a shelf and after that it was like, oh, we put landscape bullets and pretty soon we had wood chips and you know, and we were always mindful that, you know, they had to mow around it and we kind of always knew that there was probably going to come a day that we would get that. Yeah, that the city may say like you know, we have to. You know, this is, this is not working out yeah this is not working out.
Speaker 3:That would be a good, and they didn't. I mean, well, you know, I don't want to say they kicked us out of that spot, they just offered us a better spot it is true, like I I keep telling when I talk about this to people.
Speaker 1:The city has been so good that every time I get a call or we get an email or a message, it's always I'm sorry, you're going to have to do this. And then there's always but, and then the next thing is always a better thing.
Speaker 2:They apologize, but then they offer a solution.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's kind of that one door closes but they open another one right away.
Speaker 2:Exactly. Wow. So for my listeners who are not familiar, this is in the city of Anoka. I don't know that. We established that, and it is right behind City Hall. Right, you go down some steps towards the Rum River.
Speaker 1:Yes, it is the back side of the building.
Speaker 2:Cool, and it's again. It's an absolutely lovely space. You've got the river right there and then there's a walkway that goes under. Is that Main Street? Main?
Speaker 1:Street yes there's a tunnel the walking tunnel, the pedestrian tunnel that goes under Main Street is right next to us. So what's really really a great thing that's happening this summer is we have murals the artists that have painted murals on our wall. Well, now the Rum River Art Center and the City of Anoka are working together with artists from our community to repaint the murals inside the tunnel, so it's been a really cool flow and connection. It's almost like the our two projects are coming together and it's one big, long, beautiful spot.
Speaker 2:I, uh, I've been down there a couple times and, and every time I go down the mural seems to be growing. I was down there a couple weekends ago and there was a gentleman working on an eagle and I mean I don't know if I can do it justice just talking about it, but is there a theme to the mural? I mean, I noticed some Halloween stuff in there and, for those of you who don't know, anoka, minnesota, is the Halloween capital of the world.
Speaker 1:Well, the Tunnel Mural Project is separate from us. I mean, one of the artists is painting in both. We have an artist. Her name is Bonnie. She just joined the Rock Garden. She came to our rock painting events. We just joined the rock garden. She came to our rock painting events and then when we got our new beautiful space, we divided it into four sections. We posted out to our Facebook community and said, hey, we have this space. If any of you want to paint on it, please submit us a design and we'll pick four of you and paint the mural.
Speaker 1:Well, bonnie was one of the people who submitted a drawing and plan and her work is on the wall right at the rock garden. Well, she's also painting a large chunk inside the tunnel project. So what I know about the tunnel project is each artist has their idea. They're supposed to have, you know, anoka in mind and their picture of Anoka, whatever. That means nature, halloween, like anything, anoka that's kind of how their chunk is. Well, bonnie also. She's just a great woman. Like we are very lucky to have her talented ability and her heart in our group she's. We also had this other section that hadn't been painted and she's down there every day painting inside the tunnel and she just we just kept saying, whenever you're done, we want to work on this side too, whenever. Well, then all of a sudden she just boom, started doing it. So she works on both projects.
Speaker 1:So our section is kindness. You know what does that mean to you? What does that mean? And the artists each kind of came up with their idea, and now the latest portion that bonnie's been working on is leading into the tunnel, is going, it leads into the tunnel and again it's kind of kindness, but one once she started painting. There's kind of a bigger message about you know, we have a tornado on there and like kind of a storm. The storm brings bad things, but then the rain comes, goes away, and there's a rainbow and the sun, and there's a picture of seeds that start small and grow into this big beautiful sunflower and poppy, you know. So I can't tell you what exactly the message is. You have to look at it and see what you think, but I mean, that's kind of a nutshell. That's a fun thing.
Speaker 3:We all got. We kind of got together and, like the rainbow part of it was, you know, it's kind of like the bottom part of it is pumpkin and that is the nod to Anoka. The middle part of the rainbow is poppies and that was kind of our nod to veterans. And then the top part of it was the sunflowers kind of. You know, that was kind of our nod to Nicole and, you know, to our you know, we just like the sunflowers. Yeah, you know, and it's meant to be an interactive mural. So there's a tornado with, you know, these storm clouds, and there's some umbrellas. So you know it's meant to you stand there and it looks kind of like you're holding an umbrella or, you know, stand in there. A bench will be put there where it'll look like you're kind of sitting in front of these sunflowers in a sunflower field.
Speaker 2:That's so cool and you mentioned you touched on this briefly, missy. I think part of kindness is bringing together a community and as part of your group, you have rock painting. Is it every week on Tuesday? I want to say we do have that.
Speaker 1:Another one of the things that happened with the city was we were using the community room in the city hall and they said to us we're sorry, you won't be able to use that space anymore, but here we are in our space actually right now. Um, they graciously are letting us use the warming house building at rick sorenson park in anoka.
Speaker 1:okay, so we have all of our stuff set up here for rock painting and all summer long on tuesday nights we have from five to seven rock painting. Now today is actually the last day for that. So today, August 15th, is the last Tuesday night because of school starting. August 22nd will be actually at the Cookout with the Cops event and then after that, September 10th, we start on weekends and it's September 10th is the first weekend from noon to four at Rick Sorensen Park and it's open for anyone. You just show up. You don't have to bring anything. It's open to the community, yeah.
Speaker 2:Wow, that's awesome. So what's the atmosphere there when you, when you have one of your rock painting events? I mean, is it just everybody laughing? Is it friendship, is it?
Speaker 3:you know it's all of the above but there's also, you know, some serious kind of a little more serious I mean. We kind of have a little. There's a kind of a special place in our heart, you know, about mental health and mental health awareness. Nicole did die by suicide. So you know, in talking about that and putting that out there, you know that's a hard thing to talk about and I'll admit that's a hard thing to admit, that my daughter, you know that's a hard thing to talk about and I'll admit that's a hard thing to admit that my daughter, you know, took her life. That's, that's heavy. But sometimes you have to have those heavy conversations and those heavy conversations have really led in to some really great things. And you know, as some people come to to that and they kind of hear that conversation, then it's. Then sometimes they just open up and tell us about an experience. But it really is about more than just rock painting. It really is sure right, I mean it just.
Speaker 3:That part of it is just. I think you know you get the people here and you get them comfortable in a relaxed atmosphere and just, and sometimes those conversations just flow.
Speaker 2:Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1:And we always say that you know, all of us have something you know in our lives and it ends up being where one person might make a comment and then the person next to him that they didn't even know said, wow, me too. And then they start talking and then, you know, people make friendships here and they come back again to see that other person and and then just talk more. It has turned into that and that's what we want. We want people to be able to come here. We have a resource board. If people have, you know, if they need stuff, anything from our community, we have a big resource board.
Speaker 3:I mean, we're certainly not, you know, mental health professionals, but you know we have some life experience and sometimes just that peer mentorship is as good as a therapist.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh, absolutely, yeah, oh, absolutely yeah. We can always find it's funny when you create a space that's inviting and warm and safe. It's amazing what kind of conversations you can have, isn't it it?
Speaker 1:is it is, it is it is.
Speaker 2:I should say that suicide was not necessarily just a result of a mental health issue, right Correct, it was sparked by suicide, sexual assault.
Speaker 3:It was. She was sexually assaulted two times. That we know of in the military that she reported.
Speaker 2:And she reported it and nothing happened.
Speaker 3:You know, she was in Korea at the time and she, you know, asked for an expedited victim's transfer and it was granted. But it took them 82 days to get her off of that base and in those 82 days she lived in the same barracks as her assailants and she was just the subject of a lot of bullying and torment and it just that really sparked her mental health crisis. And it just that really sparked her mental health crisis. It was, you know, it was a pretty short lived her mental health struggles there was, you know, I mean, she was a very, you know, all through high school growing up. She was very outgoing and fun loving.
Speaker 3:I didn't know of any struggles and, like I said, when she came back from Korea, when she came home, she got to come home for two weeks and there was a big difference. She had lost weight and her hair was thinning, um, and even at home, when she um, she asked for a lock on her bedroom door and she put her dresser in front of her door at night oh my god, I was like Nicole.
Speaker 3:You're at home and she says but you don't understand and I didn't, you know, I'm, you know. I let her talk as much or little about it. I didn't obviously know the depths of it, um, but yeah wow, I.
Speaker 2:I find oftentimes that when there's a tragedy that it can, it can spark something positive, and as hurtful and as horrific as that was, I'm not sure that we wouldn't have. We would have the, we would have the Anoka Kindness Rock Garden without that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we might not I mean, we might. Right.
Speaker 2:But something bright and beautiful came out of that horrible dark time.
Speaker 3:Right, those that know kind of know that this is kind of her legacy, and those that don't, that's fine, it's a you know. You know, I'm always open to sharing and but, like I said, I don't. I just don't openly talk about it like at a rock painting. I try to be really mindful of my audience sure, sure.
Speaker 2:So I now. As most of us know, anoka, the city of Anoka, is the Halloween capital of the world. I think we should. How does one get to be the kindness capital? And I settled for Minnesota, right now, that's right.
Speaker 1:That's part of our dream that is part of our dream.
Speaker 2:That is part of our dream, If any of my listeners know how we make that happen.
Speaker 1:I don't know.
Speaker 2:We need to probably Go ahead.
Speaker 1:I think that we should invite them all to our rock painting, all of your listeners to show up, and we have a big meeting about it. If we're all at home sitting thinking this is what we should do, this is what I keep thinking, we all want that and we all think how is this going to happen? If we all are in one room, I feel like we could make it happen.
Speaker 2:There's your call to action. Listeners, I will include Now do you guys have? You don't have a website, you just have the Facebook page, right?
Speaker 3:We do have a website. We're just working it's up. We just are just starting to try to keep it updated. It's just pretty much Missy and I doing a lot of the social media stuff, so the website is like the last thing that always gets updated. But we do have it and it's it's.
Speaker 2:It's wwwanokakindnessrockgardencom that's a mouthful yeah it is.
Speaker 3:I think we need to contact the guinness book of world records and get a whole bunch of kindness rocks and have them come. Maybe we could break some record.
Speaker 1:Oh that'd be awesome so talk to me about Sammy the snake, Are you?
Speaker 2:guys.
Speaker 1:Oh, our snake, our rock snake, well all, of us, sammy people were hosting. It's Daisy, daisy, oh Daisy. People were posting all these rock snakes and daisy is her name, yeah, she. So people were then, of course, messaging us through our, our social media and that about we need a rock snake. So we're like okay let's have a rock snake and we just so poor daisy lost her head and she lost her mind a few times.
Speaker 1:But the one beautiful thing about that was, as Stacey mentioned, it's kind of, you know, it's just the two of us really driving the bus, but right behind us we have, you know, a core group of volunteers that work really hard and do a ton of stuff. But I don't work in the summer being a teacher. Stacey works overnight, so during the day we have more time in our lives to run by the rock garden and check it. Well, the community has been taking care of Daisy. If someone took her head away, boom, somebody would just show up with another head. We didn't even have to worry about it. So she's grown I don't really know how many rocks over 100. And she's very cute. And during the summer we're gonna or during the winter, excuse me, we'll, we'll put her up on a kind of a ledge that's near there so they can, you know, plow the snow and those kinds of things all winter long. Um, but our community, just there, they were excited about and said, hey, we need to do this.
Speaker 2:So we, we just do it yeah, the community is really and truly amazing. Those that would deface your rock garden notwithstanding, the majority of the community is absolutely amazing, and I see so much lightness and fellowship and all of these other things whenever I go to your Facebook page. So I'll have a link to the website and a link to your Facebook page in the show notes so that anybody who wants to reach out can do that. And, yeah, we really need to make this happen. I'll see what I can do.
Speaker 1:Let's have a meeting. You'll find our dates for our rock painting, and just everybody come.
Speaker 2:Yeah, perfect. Well, missy and Stacy, thank you so much for agreeing to come on here. I know it was hard, stacy and Missy, to talk about some of the ugly stuff, but again out of that ugly came something absolutely fantastic and wonderful and light and I really thank you guys for that and for coming on the show. Thank you for having us.
Speaker 1:Thank you for having us.
Speaker 2:Okay, we'll be in touch soon. Okay, sounds good, bye-bye, bye-bye, bye. Okay, sounds good, bye-bye, bye-bye, bye. I just I have so much respect for these women and what they're doing and what they're trying to accomplish and, frankly, I think, probably succeeding in accomplishing. I wanted to share, though. There's a rock, a big rock, in the rock garden and the rock says take one for inspiration, share one for motivation and leave one for growing the garden. And I think that's amazing. And you know who else is amazing? You guys for showing up and listening to this podcast every single week, and I appreciate you and I love you for that. We'll be back next week with a brand new episode, but in the meantime, be that person who roots for others, who tells a stranger they look amazing and encourages others to believe in themselves and their dreams. You've been listening to the Kindness Matters Podcast. I am your host, mike Rathbun. Have a fantastic week.
