The Kindness Matters Podcast
So. Much. Division. Let's talk about how to change that. Re-engage as neighbors, friends, co-workers and family. Let's set out to change the world. Strike that. Change A World. One person at a time, make someone's life a little better and then do it again tomorrow and the day after that, through kindness.
Kindness is a Super-Power that each of us has within us. It is so powerful it has the potential to change not only your life but those around you, too. Let's talk about kindness.
The Kindness Matters Podcast
The Transformative Power of Kindness in Business and Beyond with Regina Andler
When the world seems awash in cynicism, a conversation with someone like Regina Andler can be a beacon of hope. Our heartfelt discussion with the founder of Autumn Ascent Consulting isn't just about the tangibles of business success—it's a deep dive into the soul-enriching principles of kindness and the pivotal role it plays across our professional and private lives. Regina brings her experience to the table, reminding us of the immeasurable value a good consultant or coach can have in guiding us toward our goals, with tales of corporate beginnings and the transformative power of a helping hand.
Amidst the laughs and shared memories, including a charming tale involving our pal Steve Gamlin and time management, this episode also dares to tackle the heavier side of humanity. We unravel the fabric of kindness, not as an occasional gesture but as an intrinsic mindset that shapes our interactions and decisions. Personal stories illuminate our discussion, from how Boy Scouts and classic cartoons shaped our early understanding of altruism to the inspiring work done through Beach Bum Philanthropy and Isaiah 58. It's about the deeply rooted desire to lift others up, challenging the sometimes skewed portrayal of kindness in social media landscapes.
Our final thoughts resonate with the need for empathy and action toward some of society's most pressing issues, such as homelessness and the struggles faced by the elderly. By debunking myths about homelessness and examining the harsh realities through personal anecdotes and compelling statistics, we underscore the necessity of community involvement. Touching upon proposed legislation for work-life balance and the beautiful difference we can make in the lives of seniors, this episode is an impassioned call to action—a reminder that each of us has the capacity to leave a mark on the world through our kindness. Join us on this journey and discover how you, too, can contribute to a kinder, more connected community.
Do you dread Mondays? Does the thought of another Monday steal the joy of your weekend? Let me tell you about a product I have found and tried that can do away with the Sunday Scaries. Oddly enough, it’s from a company called Sunday Scaries. I have personally tried their products, gummies and tinctures and I can personally attest to their efficacy. If you go to their website and order any product, use the code Kindness20 to receive a 20% discount on your order.
Do you like good coffee? Are you like me and go to bed in anticipation of a great cup of coffee in the morning (and afternoon, maybe). Then let me introduce you to my newest sponsor, Coffee Bros. They have built their business on the cornerstones of sustainability, quality, consistency, and freshness. From coffee to brewing techniques to coffee and espresso machines, they should be your go-to for all things coffee. And if you order from them, use the code Kind10 to get a 10% discount on your order.
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Speaker 2:Kindness, we see it all around us. We see it when someone pays for someone else's coffee or holds the door open for another person. We see it in the smallest of gestures, like a smile or a kind word. But it's different when we turn on the news or social media. Oftentimes what we hear about what outlets are pushing is the opposite of kind. Welcome to the Kindness Matters Podcast. Our goal is to give you a place to relax, to revel in stories of people who have received or given kindness, a place to inspire and motivate each and every one of us to practice kindness every day.
Speaker 2:Hello and welcome to the Kindness Matters podcast. I'm your host, mike Rathbun, and before we get started with my amazing interview, make sure to check out the Deluxe Edition Network's Podcasts of the Month for the month of April. This month you'll find Quad Pro Quo. It's a weekly film podcast inspired by the Quid Pro Quo scene in Silence of the Lambs, hosted by two couples who also happen to be friends and live next door to each other. New episodes drop every Thursday wherever you catch your favorite podcasts.
Speaker 2:Also up this month the Steve and Crypto Show. They're casually talking all things pop culture, horror, entertainment, horror again, art, music, horror, collectibles and more, while providing an outlet for creators to promote their projects. Did they mention they like horror? And last but certainly not least, we have Drink O'Clock podcast, interviewing anyone and everything that they find interesting. Drinks may be involved and some shenanigans may be had.
Speaker 2:Also, don't forget to check out the show notes in this episode to find some great deals from my two partners Sunday Scaries, which is a purveyor of CBD gummies and the like. I've tried them. They work great, just as advertised. And also Coffee Bros. Coffee Bros has the finest coffees you can imagine and with both of those businesses you can get a discount. The link and the discount code are in the show notes. Check it out now, and now let's get into the show. Hey, hello everybody, and welcome to the Kindness Matters podcast. I have such a cool guest on the show today. She is a consultant and the founder and CEO of Autumn Ascent Consulting. Welcome to the show, my guest, regina Andler.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much for having me here, Mike. I'm so excited to be here, you know and full disclosure.
Speaker 2:This is a do-over, because the first one didn't go so well. So if you feel like you're hearing an inside joke, you may very well be.
Speaker 1:Heck happens.
Speaker 2:Left over from the last time we tried this. So now you consult is it primarily women-based businesses?
Speaker 1:It's mostly women coaches and consultants. However, I have a large number of men that I also work with. So while I say I help women coaches and consultants attract more clients to their businesses, it doesn't stop there, because then some guy will text me and go well, you say you work with women, can you work with me too? And I was like, yeah, of course I can.
Speaker 2:I'm an equal opportunity consultant.
Speaker 1:That's right, sure.
Speaker 2:And it's really cool because I mean, when I my wife and I started a home cleaning business in 2006, and I never knew about consultants or coaches or any of those things that were available consultants or coaches or any of those things that were available Now, to be fair, we were really frugal with our business so we probably wouldn't have paid for that anyway, but I didn't know that they were available to help us and I'd be online going tickety, tick, tick, how do I get more customers? And an answer would come back Facebook ads and I did try those and I never saw any kind of, and I understand it's the message that you create.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I'm not going to lie to you, because you know, if you are a really, really super-driven individual, it doesn't matter what it is that you want to do. Everything that you want to do and all the information that you need to do, it is out on YouTube.
Speaker 2:So I know that's true and that goes for everything right Like plumbing, and we just we replaced a motor in our in my riding lawnmower a couple of years ago. We replaced a motor in my riding lawnmower a couple years ago. The whole thing was right there on YouTube how to do it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean. The thing is that it's what do you want to do? And do you need accountability with it? Because the majority of us humans are not very self-disciplined. We say we are, we say we're going to eat better, we say we're going to clean the house, we say we're going to you know, whatever it is we say we're going to do, and then we're like, yeah, we'll get to that later. And when it comes to a business, if you don't have somebody who is constantly on you to guide you and keep you accountable for it, that's where coaches come in, because us consultants, most of our job is making sure that you are getting done what you're supposed to get done for your success.
Speaker 2:Right, Absolutely, and that accountability concept is key. Now you and I found each other through a mutual friend, Steve Gamlin. I love Steve. Steve is so funny. We were talking and he was talking about his coaching business and you mentioned accountability. He had a great story about going through some of his modules. He had a client that said she wasn't finding the time and he pulled up a stat about how much time people spend on the toilet he goes. You can finish one in one sitting, literally one sitting and that's so great.
Speaker 1:I but you, you were in corporate for quite a while, anyways, right. So I did technical. I was working for tech companies. I started out as a COBOL mainframe programmer many, many, many years ago. For anybody who actually knows what that means, I don't, but I'll trust you. It's really old stuff, Anybody who does computer stuff. Now they just laugh at me and say, wow, you're ancient you're ancient, okay.
Speaker 2:So one of the things I always hated about corporate was the jargon that they used and and how they came up. And it was funny just before I came on this call, I saw facebook posts from a friend of my wife and mine and she said new corporate jargon, harmony call. So like let's schedule a harmony call to make sure everybody's on the same page. Harmony Call Is that a new?
Speaker 1:thing, I have not heard that one. I've been removed from corporate for a long time. Harmony Call sounds kind of nice though.
Speaker 2:There's no me in team. Wait, yes, there is, never mind. But the other thing that you and I bonded over was kindness. Right, you're very involved in philanthropy. Is that something that's always kind of been like a part of you?
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I mean, I grew up in a typical middle-class household where my parents were involved in things. My dad was in the Knights of Columbus and my mom was involved with the church and you know. So we were always doing something. And you know, I was in Girl Scouts and you know this, that and the other thing. So I grew up in these, in this environment, where we were constantly doing whatever we could to help others, and it was kind of like the rule in the house is you know, if there's somebody who needs help, we need to find a way to help them. And you know, obviously that's just stuck with me, it's ingrained in me. Kindness is not something that I just do. Kindness is a way of living for me.
Speaker 2:So you're saying it's a mindset, it is.
Speaker 1:It's a kindness mindset.
Speaker 2:It's a kindness mindset Wink, that's your cue Go. But yeah, I mean I was kind of the same way. My folks were never really involved with the church, but I was in Cub Scouts and Boy Scouts and you know, if there's somebody that needs help, you help them. And Boy Scouts in the 60s and 70s it was kind of like, if you see, a little old lady struggling, help her cross the street, exactly.
Speaker 1:I mean you remember those pictures from like years and years ago? I mean even in cartoons, I mean I don't know. They're totally going outside the box here. You know the old Bugs Bunny cartoons and stuff like that, where even they have like somebody helping the old lady across the street and stuff like that. It's all about kindness. And when I say kindness, mindset is a lot of people get confused with all of these messages that are all over social media and everywhere about being kind. And you know the people who are doing the rocks. If you ever seen, if you've ever gone on a hike or something and saw the painted rocks, and you'll see some of the painted rocks and they'll say be kind, now, absolutely be kind. But I look at kindness not as a being kind. It's that mindset, it's a way of being, it's something that's ingrained in all of us. I think we're all born with the innate sense that part of our purpose or our purpose is to help others in whatever way that looks like for you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely. I totally agree. It's a superpower. I mean, you know, you can say, I, if I had a superpower, I wish it was. But we already have that inside of us.
Speaker 1:99.999 percent of us have that innate feeling that if there's somebody that needs help, we help yeah, one of the organizations you mentioned, Steve and I'm on the board of his Beach Bum philanthropy, and one of the things that we have in Beach Bum is, as board members, we usually take some of the monies that are donated to us and what we do is because we're kind of spread out, Beach Bum is not just a local organization, it's basically it could be anywhere in the world actually, and because we're spread out, we'll take monies out of what is donated to us.
Speaker 1:Go out and help a local organization that means something to us. So very recently, here's a good way to think about being kind, right, and how anybody can be kind. One of the local organizations to me here is an organization called Isaiah 58, and they help the homeless in the area and right now and this is a countrywide I don't know where it is worldwide, but I know it's a countrywide issue we have I think there's still 25 people living in their cars at one of the rest stops here in New Hampshire.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:And Isaiah goes over and they feed them, they give them stuff that they need and, as they can and as they have the ability to, they try to place them into some kind of housing so that they're not living in their cars anymore. And so I had this gift card from Beach Bum and Isaiah put out a call saying, hey, we need a bunch of stuff for the folks over at the rest area. Can you help out? And I went, sure, and I took my card, I went and I got as much as I could. I went to places where I could know I could get the best bang for my buck, got as much as I could and I brought it over to Isaiah and I met with one of the guys that I work with over there and when I got there, one of their clients was there and she was a very lovely woman who was separated and she had two young kids and she'd found herself because she was because she was put into this position or ended up in this position. She found herself because she was because she was put into this position or ended up in this position. She found herself homeless and Isaiah had literally just placed her in an apartment and she was in picking up some stuff that they had got for her to help outfit the apartment and her kids and stuff. And so I got there and I have a car full of stuff.
Speaker 1:She was the first one. She goes oh can I help you unpack, pack your car? And I said absolutely. I said yeah, come and she helps unpack. And then we get done. And she's about ready to walk out and I was like I looked at Mike, the guy who works there. I was like Mike. So then he's like oh yeah, is there anything in this pile that you could use or the kids can use, that you want to take? And I'm like, yeah, absolutely. You even helped me just unpack my car. You are one of the people who needs help. And she was so kind to help out. And then she wasn't even going to want anything for it and I was like, yeah. I was like pick through this stuff, what do you want? Take it with you.
Speaker 2:Wow, that's so cool, so cool. And you know, and sometimes there's that whole I know, with the unhoused population there's almost a feeling of I don't deserve kind of thing. I was talking to a woman who runs a food shelf up here near me and she was talking about they had this woman and it was kind of during pandemic rules, so you stayed in your car and you told them what you wanted and they brought it out to you. We'll be right back with more of my conversation with Regina Andler, but first this message from another Deluxe Edition Network podcast. I'm Crystal, often called Moused, and I'm here too.
Speaker 1:And then we also have Yen and Harley who sadly are not with us, but that's okay. We're here to talk to you about our podcast. Tune in because it's just it's a lot of fun and you get to hear the chick side of things. You get to BS about movies and drinking and life and momming. Lots of laughing, lots of laughing. I laugh a lot, but it's great. Laugh, but it's great. Yes, we have finished our first season and we're starting our second season. Good lord, 2024, here we come, I know. Enjoy it.
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Speaker 2:We will talk to you soon one of the workers came in and asked and said there's a woman out there and she's just crying in her car. And so the director went out and it was. It was a beamer, it was a bmw, a nice new earth bmw, and she talked to him and she said and the woman said I don't deserve this. She said but I don't know what else to do. My husband and I made a really good living and we both got laid off and we haven't been able to find out. Uh, you know. And so we need this help. And it's true, these days, any one of us is probably a big medical bill or a layoff away from needing services like that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and you know, a really scary statistic I recently heard is that and I forget who it's, I think it was MIT Somebody did a study and the living wage for a family of four so you know, two kids, parents the living wage for a family of four is $137,000 a year. Now think about that. I mean there's people working.
Speaker 2:I know I don't make that.
Speaker 1:Right, and so people are going well, yeah, I got the only job that I could get. I'm working at McDonald's, I'm working here. There's no way they're making that much money. So there's people who are actually working that are homeless. So the stereotypical thoughts that people get in their head of homeless going oh, they're bums, they don't do anything.
Speaker 1:They're lazy. There's a lot of them are actually working. There's people at the exit one rest area that are working and living in their cars because they're working. However, they're not making enough to actually be able to afford some place to actually live. So think about that as a society. What does that say? So, when you can be kind and just look at that and go, okay, what if that was me? So the woman in the Beamer, right, right, what if that happens to me? Then what? I certainly hope there's somebody out there that's going to be kind enough to reach out their hand and say how can I help you?
Speaker 2:Absolutely. Yeah, I saw a news article the other day and some legislator in California introduced a bill that would make it okay for workers to not answer emails and phone calls after hours. I'm like, what does it say about us as a country that we need to have a law that says it's okay to not answer, to not work after work? Yeah, we're kind of back to corporate now, but anyway, when you were talking about that, and we as Americans, as human beings, we're so quick to judge those who have fallen on hard times, and if we would take that energy that we use to judge people and put it into helping people, I think there would be a lot less people that would need those. What is your other philanthropic? You said on another board too, right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so Beach Bum, I have like two. Everybody kind of has their own sweet spots for what it is that matters most to them, and I mean, well, everything matters, and I'm gonna be kind to anybody.
Speaker 2:I'm having a hard time finding one or two.
Speaker 1:Well, I kind of had to narrow it down because there was a time when I was actually on five boards and I was like, okay, I can't do five boards.
Speaker 2:I want to, but I can't.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm doing my job and then I'm doing five boards. It was like, yeah, I can't do all this, so I had to narrow it down. And really, the homeless. I have a sweet spot for the homeless, because nobody in this day and age should be homeless.
Speaker 2:No, not in this country.
Speaker 1:Right and back in 2007, my dad had passed away and when he passed away I became my mom's primary caregiver. She came to live with my husband and I for the last six years of her life. For the last six years of her life and after she passed, I just had this between. I think it was 13 or 14 years. I was kind of caregiver for both of them and then dad passed and then mom passed and I saw a lot of the system for seniors and I'll tell you it wasn't pretty. I saw stuff going on in rehab centers where people weren't getting the care they needed and nobody was advocating for them and family wasn't coming in or they didn't have family and nobody was helping these people.
Speaker 1:I remember being in the rehab with my mom one time and my mom whispered to me one day when I was in there and she said to me, like I said, I grew up in this family that this is what we do, and my mom is sitting there in rehab recouping from her stuff and she whispers to me she goes. You know the woman next to me, she goes. I don't even know her name yet. She goes. I can't get her name out of her and she hasn't had one visitor and we've been here for over a week. She goes. I don't understand that she goes. Go talk to her and see what's up with her.
Speaker 1:And so I went over and I was like, oh hey, can I get you anything? I'm here visiting my mom. I just started talking to her and she was so grateful that somebody stopped to talk to her and I was like, oh my gosh, what is going on with the seniors that are just being ignored? So seniors are my other sweet spot, and so the other board that I sit on is called Friends of Rockingham County Aging Adults, nice, and it's all about quality of life and helping out other organizations. We actually the monies for that organization go to other nonprofit organizations that directly help seniors. Mostly we try to help them stay in their homes as long as they can and have a quality of life.
Speaker 2:That is so important. Excuse me, yeah, because helping older people stay in their homes for as long as they possibly can is so important. I love all the organizations that do that and, you know, maybe it's just somebody coming in once a week, maybe you need more, but if that keeps them in their home and yeah, it's absolutely amazing. I also have a soft spot for seniors and my wife has a cricket machine and last year she made up a bunch of cards to send to one of the senior centers. Just because you know they might not, they might not have anybody left, or at least anybody that cares enough to come visit. But you know, if you can send a little, a card or for whatever reason, it doesn't have to be a holiday, right.
Speaker 1:That means so much to them. Send a little a card or for whatever reason. It doesn't have to be a holiday, right? I mean that?
Speaker 1:means so much to them yeah, right after my mom passed in 2013. I was a member of my local rotary club at the time and I wanted to do something. I I just felt this innate need after mom passed. I was like I gotta do something for seniors someplace. I need to find some seniors to help. I did. It was just kind of like this need, this passion. I was like I need to let this out someplace.
Speaker 1:And we have a local place here called Silverthorne and I knew the executive director there and so I asked her. I said I was coming up on holiday time, christmas time and I said, does anybody like do anything for the daycare folks that come in and she goes? Well, not really, she goes. We do some stuff in here. And I said, what if I got a bunch of people together and you make up a Christmas list and have them all tell us what they want for Christmas and we'll get them Christmas presents to add to your Christmas party? She's like, oh, that would be fabulous. And so she got me the Christmas list and the very first year, I'll tell you, the Christmas list made me cry because on the Christmas list they were asking for body lotion, deodorant, shampoo, socks, pajamas you know all these basic need things they weren't asking for, like you know, hey, can you get me a book, can you get me some knitting needles or whatever?
Speaker 1:It wasn't any of that kind of stuff. It ended up being that stuff later because apparently we made sure they were well taken care of, so later the list got better. However, that first list, that first year, I was like, oh my gosh.
Speaker 2:Such basic things.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So we got them everything and then some, and then we made sure that they were stocked up over at Silverthorne so that going throughout the year after Christmas if somebody needed something, they had it. So you know, I mean it's just and that's not expensive stuff and that was literally just coordination. So I didn't I, I didn't say I'm gonna go out and buy your, every one of your clients, something for christmas. I said you know what I I can, I know I can get something for Christmas. I said you know what I can, I know I can get something for one person. Sure, I know I can go out and buy a present. Let me go find you know 25 other people that can go do that. And my Rotary Club stepped up and they're like, why don't we just do it? We'll go out and get all the presents and I'm like, thank you.
Speaker 1:And so we made it a Rotary thing and every year we basically helped them out and gave them their christmas present. One year I have to tell you this funny story one year, one of the women there said I'd really like a man.
Speaker 2:I don't know if I'm gonna be able to do that well.
Speaker 1:Well, the hilarious thing was the woman who got this person. So what we did was we took the list and it would go on the rotary club and we split it out and everybody would take a name. So the woman who took this woman, she went out and bought her a Ken doll. The perfect man.
Speaker 2:I'm just Ken. Have you seen the movie?
Speaker 1:No, I haven't seen the movie.
Speaker 2:Okay, yeah, that's hilarious. Was she happy with her man?
Speaker 1:He was thrilled to death because she was walking around with her man.
Speaker 2:Cool, oh my gosh. Yeah, I think sometimes, when we think about, you know, making the world a better place, I, if we think about it, we're like, oh, that's too overwhelming and that stops us from doing anything but it doesn't have to be.
Speaker 1:One person at a time. It could be as simple as holding a door for somebody. You see somebody carrying a bunch of stuff. You go grocery shopping or something. You see a mom out and she's doing her grocery shopping. She's dragging along three kids with her. You know, struggling to like, push the care, corral the kids and do all this stuff. And then you know she goes to pick something off of a shelf and she drops it. You know it's just if you're standing there, just say that's okay, you go, I got it. Yeah, that's kindness.
Speaker 2:That.
Speaker 1:That's as easy as being kind can be. That's kindness basics. Yeah, that's a kindness mindset. You don't think about it, you just act. When it's a mindset, you don't think about it, it's ingrained in you, you just do it. You wouldn't think twice about holding the door. You wouldn't think twice about picking up the box. You don't have to think about it. You wouldn't think twice about holding the door. You wouldn't think twice about picking up the box. You don't have to think about it. It's you, you just do it. When it comes to kindness, it doesn't take volunteering. It doesn't take money, it doesn't take Literally. You could just be nice to somebody the girl who was the client over at that non-profit, who said she was just like oh, can I help you unload your car?
Speaker 2:She was the one doing the kindness Right.
Speaker 1:Right, anybody can be kind, anybody anywhere.
Speaker 2:Exactly, and we should all strive for that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the more kind we can be, the more ripples go out, and it spreads and spreads and spreads. Wouldn't it be nice if everybody had a kindness mindset in the world, so that just that energy of kindness? I'm telling you, if everybody was like that, there wouldn't be any homeless, there wouldn't be any trouble, there wouldn't be all the stuff would be gone because everybody would be thinking what can I do to help someone else? And as we help each other, the spider web goes and you know it just goes on and on and on until everybody's just helping.
Speaker 2:Wow, from your lips to God's ears. I had a Jewish home cleaning client say that one time. I'm like oh.
Speaker 1:I did not realize that was a thing.
Speaker 2:Okay, yes, indeed, it was so great. Thank you so much for taking the time to share this with me today. I really do appreciate it, regina. Yes, thank you for having me.
Speaker 1:You're an amazing person. Thank you having me. You're an amazing person. Oh, thank you and.
Speaker 2:Stop. I wish you the best of luck going forward. We're going to talk. I'll circle back around. We'll talk again later.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. Thank you so much for having me on here and you know, if there's one message to give to everybody who's listening, it's just be kind, just look at that just be kind, there's that rock again be be present. If you're present, you just, you just see it yeah, yeah, for sure, and it is.
Speaker 2:You're absolutely right. Just be aware to what's happening around you. It's that simple. It really is.
Speaker 1:It really is simple.
Speaker 2:Take care and we will talk again soon, regina. Thank you.
Speaker 1:Thanks for having me. I appreciate it.
Speaker 2:Have you ever just talked to somebody and felt uplifted after you talked to them? That's exactly how I felt after spending 30 minutes with Regina Andler. I felt energized and uplifted and so hopeful. I guess I really owe Steve Gamlin a I don't know box of cookies, pear bread. Steve Gamlin, a I don't know box of cookies, pear bread.
Speaker 2:If you're listening, Steve, if you are a regular listener of the show, you'll get that reference. Otherwise, go back a few episodes. You don't need money, you don't need fame, you don't need anything to be a kind person. It's just something that you do, that kindness mindset. Fantastic interview. I hope you took something away from it. I know I felt uplifted.
Speaker 2:Don't forget to slide into the show notes on this episode and or all of my episodes really and check out the links for Scary Sundays, the CBD company and also for Coffee Bros, where you can get delicious coffee. The keywords are in there for a discount on both of them. I know you'll enjoy it. I know I use both of those products and I enjoy it. I hope you will too. And that will do it for the Kindness Matters podcast for this week At at any rate. We'll be back again next week, of course, with another episode, but in the meantime, be that person who roots for others, who tells a stranger they look amazing and encourages others to believe in themselves and their dreams. You've been been listening to the Kindness Matters Podcast. I'm your host, Mike Rathbun. Have a fantastic week.